US Weekly tweets @USWeeklyTweets
I read US Weekly so you don't have to. Joined June 2011-
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Why do people call "Voice" a "surprise hit?" In what way was a show with A-list celebrity judges in giant red chairs NOT going to be a hit?
I like "This Week's Birthdays" in #USWeekly because it reminds me that people like Jason Mraz also have to face the ravages of time.
Gavin Rossdale guest-stars as wealthy villain on #USANetwork's "Burn Notice," which means Gwen Stefani has to start watching "Burn Notice."
Molly Simms is engaged at 38! Thousands of 30-year-old guys forget why they ever hoped she'd wait for them.
This pic of Jake Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard running together in their short shorts should be called: "Maggie Gyllenhaal: Sister Beard"
Jessica and Ashlee Simpson have a line of "tween" clothing out this fall. It's called "Daddy's Little Ca$h Cows."
Source at the gym says there "seems to be a spark" b/t Prince Harry and Cameron Diaz. "Spark" is British slang for "desperate cougar sweat."
So, is #KimKardashian is working out some serious mommy issues by marrying a guy named Kris? Or is that just good branding?
The headline "Cozy Riders" is wrong on multiple levels, but you still want to look at Jessica Biel wrapping her legs around Gerard Butler.
Kris Humphries gave #KimKardashian a 20.5 carat ring after 6 months of dating. That's 3.416 carats per blow job per month.
The #USWeekly Hot Stuff column explains why it ended between Scarlett and Sean. Two words: old balls.
Tiffani Thiessen dropped the Amber and gained about 30 pounds.
"I love that Flynn looks like Orlando!" says Miranda Kerr, so it will be easier to sue for child support when we break up. #Hollywood
Kroy Biermann's mom picked his name out of a phone book. Real Housewife Kim picked him out of a group of #NFL players willing to bang her.
"What's it like to be so straight that you never laugh?" -Blake Shelton to Miranda Lambert. Same question LeeAnn Rimes' husband used to ask.
I depend on #USWeekly to remind me that Joey McIntyre is still alive.
In next week's #TonyAwards issue: "Brooke Shields enters rehab, for being a talentless hack!" Plus: Hugh Jackman's 6-pack.
Tori Spelling is developing a brood. A brood! Apparently 3+ kids qualifies her for brood status. Her 4th will push her firmly into "clan."
"People in fashion don't want to be linked with...reality TV," says Lauren Conrad in #USWeekly. "Go fuck yourself," says Michael Kors.
On Rihanna's Cosmo cover shoot, they brought her favorite Jamaican food. Because Rihanna is nothing more than a vehicle for fried plantains.
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