jasmine @_jaswag
Joined March 2013-
Tweets738
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Followers267
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Following181
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Likes830
I don't want to work 5 days a week and figure out what to cook for dinner everyday I want to lie on a rock in the sun like a lizard
got drunk and accidentally pictured how it would be to spend the rest our lives together my bad lol
was bawling my heart out when a lil couple ripping bong down the street heard me and came down with a pup to make me feel better.......... who tf said weed was a highway to hell, them bitches going straight to heaven bless their pretty hearts
cats be like ‘i know a spot’ and bring you to their empty food bowls
cats be like ‘i know a spot’ and come sleep on your chest like mam i need to breathe
cats be like ‘i know a spot’ and come with two birds and three mice..... toupie if youre reading this please stop those are the oppositeof gifts
men be like i know a place and take you to their friends apartment that looks like this
men be like “i know a spot” and then rub the labia for 35 minutes
It’s not white vs black, it’s everybody vs racists
golden hour🌞
interviewer: so, tell me about yourself
I have to go out more and make more friends in 2020 but smoking bowls on my couch all day feels too good
ahhhh oui la belle saison celle ou faut jme gele le cul pour me geler la face.. most wonderful time of the year they say
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
@ the fucker who broke in my car: fuck you and also suck my cock i didnt deserve this
my dog: *exists* me:
@ all the men hitting on me when im at work : i just need a gagne-pain not a couple other boyfriends thanks fill up my tip jar instead
@kaylaaalandry @kittennuggett legit😂😂 crazy pussy
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