mal @_malwee

ehhhhh Joined November 2011

Tweets

5K
Followers

208
Following

589
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mal @_malwee

2 years ago

if my mom ever developed munchausen's by proxy i'd be dead so fast. every time i'm home this woman puts vitamins in my hand and i take them without even asking what they are

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mal @_malwee

2 years ago

if i get hit with one of the targeted ads that i KNOW i am placing on the internet one more time i’m burning this place to the ground

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mal @_malwee

2 years ago

wishing sincere apologies to the two girls in front of us at Jo bros on Saturday who clearly did not agree with our sentiment of “letting Kevin cook”

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mal @_malwee

2 years ago

Ryan schulz just walked up behind me at the aquarium and goes “I hear these sharks are real PABs”

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Seemingly all I tweet about is insane things Tom does but here’s todays entry: he broke into our own apartment by scaling a wall and breaking his own window to climb through when I could’ve just come home and let him in if he waited 20 minutes

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Kevin Finnerty @timeimmemorial_

2 years ago

3 day weekend: *exists* Americans:

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mal @_malwee

2 years ago

“Rob Thomas makes me want to take my shirt off”

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mal @_malwee

2 years ago

at the met with my brother and he just excitedly ran up to me bc he a found a bust of his favorite emperor

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mal @_malwee

2 years ago

trying to convince abbey to have a hobbit themed birthday party

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mal @_malwee

3 years ago

I think people are caught up by the Barbie casting for the wrong reason….there are THREE (3) actors from sex education in it??? okay go off greta u rly killed it w that one