Raaaaaaaandy @_raaaaaaaandy

Joined October 2011

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Raaaaaaaandy @_raaaaaaaandy

4 years ago

🎵how can I be homophobic My boyfriend’s gay🎵

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mousey ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ @HIBlSCUS

4 years ago

remember to leave out milk and cookies for george bush tonight ❤️

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shen the bird @Shen_the_Bird

4 years ago

wikipedia: please. please just give me one dollar i'm begging you give me anything me: [trying to look up the hamburglar's full name] shut the fuck up

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Raaaaaaaandy @_raaaaaaaandy

4 years ago

Just kiddingggggg everyone young reading this college is good or whatever

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Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t take it back and I love the relationships that came from it. But having children sign documents for such a crazy commitment when the biggest focus was, “how can I make people think I’m cool?” is criminal. #lockthemup #allofthem #exceptmommyanddaddy

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Raaaaaaaandy @_raaaaaaaandy

4 years ago

I think that everyone at every institution who strongly encouraged me to take on massive debt to attain a college degree at 18 should be incarcerated for entrapment.

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Raaaaaaaandy @_raaaaaaaandy

4 years ago

I’m pretty sure millennials and gen z have completely wiped out “if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?” as a reasonable argument. Parents know that a lot of us are ready to do that with no friends involved at all.

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Raaaaaaaandy @_raaaaaaaandy

5 years ago

Siri will getting in shape make hangovers less harsh no don’t tweet that no stop ah fu

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Collie Tyrrell @columtyrrell

5 years ago

People need to stop standing up for what they believe in. It’s embarrassing. Do heroin and enjoy the snow.

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Nik Oldershaw @mothmannews

5 years ago

Every stupid analogy Jordan Peterson made on Rogan would actually crush if a Def Jam comic said it "Chickens think they're tight with the farmer until that motherfucker wants an 8 piece bucket!"

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sopranos out of context @oocsopranos

5 years ago

me to myself in the mirror before i take my prozac

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Out Of Context Everything @OutOfContextEvr

5 years ago

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trapdog @computer_screen

5 years ago

Love the sopranos

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Stavros Halkias @stavvybaby

5 years ago

It’s so fucked up that eating vegetables and not doing drugs makes ur body feel good

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Raaaaaaaandy @_raaaaaaaandy

5 years ago

Almond milk sucks.

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Raaaaaaaandy @_raaaaaaaandy

5 years ago

#ProLifeHack: listen to the 2 Fast 2 Furious soundtrack in your factory settings Honda real loud with the windows down and you’ll feel 5% happier.

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Raaaaaaaandy @_raaaaaaaandy

5 years ago

“Yeah I think Disney obsessed adults are a little troubling and they’re just trying to fill a void with nostalgia.” 30 minutes later, un-ironically listening to my chemical romance in my car and nodding my head: “yeah, f you DAD”

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Raaaaaaaandy @_raaaaaaaandy

6 years ago

I just found out that Jordan Belfort, aka the real wolf of Wall Street, just got a puppy that’s the same breed as my dog and gave her THE SAME NAME. Text alerts have been turned off, thank you for respecting my space as I reflect and recover.