Randee @_srtatortuga

Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure. Harry Potter nerd, literature enthusiast, lover of food, and (not crazy) cat lady. opinions are mine alone. Joined July 2011

Tweets

12K
Followers

63
Following

322
Likes

1K

Randee @_srtatortuga

a year ago

Watching the dragons get hurt is the absolute worst part of game of thrones and house of the dragon.

0 0 0 57 0

Randee @_srtatortuga

a year ago

“Who knows? Maybe he’s got the lungs of a skinny kid. 🤷🏻‍♀️” mom commenting on the fat Viking kid acting as lookout and needing to run.

0 0 0 10 0

Randee @_srtatortuga

a year ago

Just realized that the only person’s future I have to save money for is my own! Won’t need to put kids through college!

0 0 1 14 0

Randee @_srtatortuga

a year ago

Of course I can’t fucking sleep when I have to be up super early 😩

0 0 0 8 0

Randee @_srtatortuga

a year ago

“I think there’s a bird mafia.” #shitmydadsays

0 0 0 49 0

BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ @mmpadellan

a year ago

Make it make sense.

6K 6K 35K 949K 428

Download Image

Randee @_srtatortuga

a year ago

I haven’t had a soda in like two weeks and the cravings are INTENSE tonight.

0 0 0 11 0

Randee @_srtatortuga

a year ago

Yes, I’m haunted, but I’m feeling just fine.

0 0 0 10 0

Randee @_srtatortuga

a year ago

I’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

0 0 1 10 0

Randee @_srtatortuga

a year ago

Ok so who is going to write a dramione based on The Alchemy from TTPD because I need it.

0 0 0 86 0

The Card @JaggedAuthor

a year ago

Well, allergy pill, the important thing is that you tried.

64 8K 53K 2.3M 1K

trash jones @jzux

a year ago

i’m what we call an OINK. one income, no kids. living on slop in my little pen

63 7K 63K 3.5M 2K

Randee @_srtatortuga

2 years ago

Sometimes I just get really lonely.

0 0 0 8 0

Randee @_srtatortuga

2 years ago

Probably yes depending on the movie and book selection.

𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 @Matt_Pinner

2 years ago

Probably yes depending on the movie and book selection.

12K 5K 93K 5.9M 2K

Download Image

0 0 0 11 0

Listening to these women talking about how they’d cut their hair to something they want except their husbands would divorce them. I can’t. If your husband would leave you over short hair y’all have bigger problems. 🙄

0 0 0 12 0

Randee @_srtatortuga

2 years ago

I don’t know why this was so mind blowing to me but today my therapist told me it’s okay for me to change my mind about something big, like wanting to be a parent, after learning more about myself, having a new experience, and gathering info. I feel free.

0 0 4 14 0

Randee @_srtatortuga

2 years ago

I just want to sit on the beach, read books, and eat seafood every day. In the grand scheme of things that really isn’t all that much to ask for I think.

0 0 1 10 0

The Caffeinated Therapist 🐝 @bellabee13

2 years ago

Anxiety: Something’s wrong Me: What??? Anxiety: Vibes are off. Me: …??? Anxiety: Something’s wrong and you should feel worried and alone Me: But WHAT is wrong Anxiety: Something 🤗 Me: Ok but idk what I’m supposed to do if you won’t tell me what’s— Anxiety: ✨something✨

28 2K 12K 508K 581

Randee @_srtatortuga

2 years ago

I read a whole book while sitting on the beach today. It was probably the most relaxed I’ve been in the last few years. My heart and soul feel pretty good and it’s only day 2 of spring break.