Secretary of Balloon Doggies @aceoaces
I didn’t ask to be Secretary of Balloon Doggies, the balloon doggies demanded it! Also [email protected] Republic of California Joined September 2008-
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This shit here is why we end up in these ouroboros cycles. You were not the first generation to get promised magic and rainbows. You were not the first generation to get told you could change the world with unicorns and fairy dust. ffs
Guess what happened next. Go on, just guess.
One of Pfizer’s first products was penicillin.
One of Pfizer’s first products was penicillin.
Conservatives just hate people making decisions about their own bodies.
Conservatives just hate people making decisions about their own bodies.
Look, no offense, but "Ga'Quincy 'Kool-Aid' McKinstry" sounds like a name from that "Key and Peel" skit.
You are the world’s richest man, Elon. Who the fuck is oppressing you?
The Gateway Pundit, Infamous Conspiracy Blog, Declares Bankruptcy After Suit From Election Workers mediaite.com/a/gcvin
As a physician, I have to say, this complaint contains so many layers of bad medicine and dumb decisions that I struggle to process it all.
As a physician, I have to say, this complaint contains so many layers of bad medicine and dumb decisions that I struggle to process it all.
Most men live lives of quiet desperation. The rest won’t shut up about it.
Most men live lives of quiet desperation. The rest won’t shut up about it.
@kareem_carr *guy who thinks the civil war was about 'states' rights', knows every black crime statistic in the past 50 years by heart and insists there's a plan by governments and corporations to commit white genocide*: "i don't see race"
This is what happens when you let unqualified African Americans run your company
This is what happens when you let unqualified African Americans run your company
70% of the replies to this tweet are obvious engagement farming.
70% of the replies to this tweet are obvious engagement farming.
Hey, @DougJBalloon, you can shut down your account. There's no point to trying to parody this shit anymore.
Hey, @DougJBalloon, you can shut down your account. There's no point to trying to parody this shit anymore.
Republicans are suddenly concerned about "Dark Money", which was made possible by conservative Supreme Court justices in "Citizens United v. FEC".
Republicans are suddenly concerned about "Dark Money", which was made possible by conservative Supreme Court justices in "Citizens United v. FEC". https://t.co/lUlveokpNy
"I and a couple of other editorial leaders were encouraged to make sure that any coverage of a Trump lie was matched with a story about a lie from Hillary Clinton. Another colleague asked what to do if one candidate just lied more than the other." Silence. slate.com/business/2024/…
This is the most damning story you'll read about NPR today. But NPR was far from the only mainstream national news org to take this approach during the 2016 election. slate.com/business/2024/…
“Isreal” is still trending. Y’all are embarrassing.
This has to be MAGA's doing.
vaxxed?
Tea Pain @TeaPainUSA
753K Followers 109K Following Guardian of Democracy - Born Thomas Elmer Addison Pain - July 4th, 1976
lawhawk @lawhawk
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Zara-rose Lattig @LattigRose48420
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JamieBarney @qx5voX3CFeO7drF
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Jeanie “LadyEvil” @Kissmyazz24
9K Followers 9K Following https://t.co/tl7z9t1UYm I work in retail, married, likes the word fuck. #abortionishealthcare
SnakesHave2Penises @LuminanceLunar
110 Followers 360 Following Gross, but good willed. | Cis - she/her
Cecelia TU @CeceliaTU1
2K Followers 5K Following And you run And you run To catch up with the sun But it's sinking... Racing around to come up behind you again. Be Kind
Leonie Marcoguisepp @marcoguise89967
120 Followers 5K Following
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91 Followers 5K Following
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9r0bf6een2 @ej222f5fn
0 Followers 206 Following If you want to make friends, you can contact me anytime TG：https://t.co/wWwmXwJa7C
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47 Followers 5K Following
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Shanelle Moskal @MoskShanell
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72 Followers 5K Following
Slavoj Dryjačk @Uncle_Ramrod
471 Followers 916 Following just a nice boy who is looking for ~1000 of his closest friends to have fun online | dad | synesthete | socialism, webdev, and high-brow penis jokes
Jerri Cornette @CornetJer
41 Followers 5K Following
Malorie Marley @mar_malor
44 Followers 5K Following
Rebecca-Ambiguously O.. @jewbecca
950 Followers 3K Following Capitalism only works for people with capital. 2nd Gen American, eggless and proud of it, unemployed, low vision, single mom, gardener.
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39 Followers 5K Following
BrooklynDad_Defiant!�.. @mmpadellan
1.3M Followers 42K Following Proud papa. Perpetually pissed. #BlueWave2024, #Feminist. Author of The Liddle'est President. 👉Sr. Advisor, @ReallyAmerican1👈👀
Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski
899K Followers 2K Following Editor-in Chief https://t.co/HLS0hEHY1C, Co-host Uncovered, Attorney, Marine, Former Federal and State Prosecutor, Republican Party Insane Asylum Escapee
Aaron Rupar @atrupar
900K Followers 3K Following journalist. sign up for my newsletter, Public Notice (link below). Powered by @SnapStream (more info: https://t.co/2oHPuuFBnN).
Kyle Griffin @kylegriffin1
1.4M Followers 761 Following Executive Producer @TheWeekendMSNBC. Opinions mine. Do not congratulate. THREADS @griffinkyle
Ted Lieu @tedlieu
1.6M Followers 11K Following Husband of Betty, the love of my life. Father of two great kids. USAF veteran. Member of Congress. In that order. Also, empathy is good.
Stonekettle @Stonekettle
215K Followers 2K Following Coffee FIRST. Plug in the cat. Read the daily hatemail. Despair for the future of humanity. Buy Whiskey
The Hoarse Whisperer @TheRealHoarse
416K Followers 1K Following *I didn’t pay for that damn checkmark* “A Twitter rando” - Rolling Stone mag. Possible CIA operative according to OAN. Writer. Photographer. Father.
Molly Jong-Fast @MollyJongFast
1.1M Followers 7K Following subscribe to fast politics https://t.co/8oCGnjfIKm follow me on instagram https://t.co/bZreuBOHrV @vanityfair special correspondent & MSNBC
Kevin M. Kruse @KevinMKruse
466K Followers 3K Following No longer posting here -- try the same handle on Substack, Bluesky and Threads. CAMPAIGN TRAILS newsletter: https://t.co/B5Q3HztuHd
Elie Mystal @ElieNYC
518K Followers 5K Following Justice Correspondent: @thenation. Alfred Knobler Fellow: @typemediacenter Str:12 Dex:8 Con:15 Int:13 Wis:10 Char:14 Author: Allow Me To Retort
PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 @patriottakes
476K Followers 3K Following Dedicated research monitoring and exposing right-wing extremism and other threats to democracy.
NoelCaslerComedy🌙 @caslernoel
426K Followers 732 Following NYC Based Stand-Up Comedian•Noel Casler Podcast•Car Rants• 'Noel's Notes' on Substack•Tour Dates at https://t.co/snzWVJwEbz
Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan
1.5M Followers 4K Following British-American journalist. Editor-in-chief and CEO of new media company @zeteo_news. Subscribe here: https://t.co/sEC1ETyGtn
Really American 🇺�.. @ReallyAmerican1
680K Followers 3K Following Grassroots political organization producing the most impactful political content every day. Join us.
Keith Olbermann @KeithOlbermann
984K Followers 1K Following "Countdown With Keith Olbermann," 2024 National Political Podcast of the Year nominee. Verified 2024 audience to date: 8,358,575
New York Times Pitchb.. @DougJBalloon
264K Followers 4K Following Parody. The really well-trained dog is the one that turns his somersault when there is no whip. merch: https://t.co/3bxNPhdkPL
Tony Posnanski @tonyposnanski
213K Followers 3K Following I drive a Chevy Equinox and my son said when he makes it in the majors, he will buy me a new Equinox. Store here https://t.co/lBVXvtU13S
Dan Savage @fakedansavage
366K Followers 3K Following Daily Caller: "A deviant of the highest order.” Savage Love! Savage Lovecast! My weekly sex-advice column, podcast, and more are available at https://t.co/BnXklxTQiV!
Tom Nichols @RadioFreeTom
690K Followers 2K Following Staff writer at @TheAtlantic. Curmudgeon. Cat guy. Democracy enthusiast, defender of experts. Legacy blue check who'd have paid more for a better Twitter.
David Corn @DavidCornDC
945K Followers 2K Following DC bureau chief of Mother Jones, MSNBC analyst. Best-selling author of "American Psychosis." Sign up for my newsletter "Our Land" at https://t.co/73HtPJKNLk.
Michael Tracey @mtracey
320K Followers 1K Following Roving journalist, friend to all dogs [email protected]
Housing Spock @HousingSpock
2K Followers 642 Following The needs of the many outweigh the needs of your backyard view.
Is Clarence Thomas De.. @IsCThomasDead
9K Followers 13 Following Daily updates on whether the least qualified and biggest scumbag on the Supreme Court has departed earth yet.
Allison Neitzel @AliNeitzelMD
5K Followers 1K Following physician, writer, musician threads & bluesky: alineitzelmd writing: https://t.co/dB7PdtylSM https://t.co/1sUYRVPf0J
Ben Smith @BSmithBenS
3K Followers 1K Following Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons, In reality it’s made up of Morons.
James Lucas @JamesLucasIT
349K Followers 9K Following Beauty is truth, truth beauty; that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.
Michael Harriot @michaelharriot
526K Followers 97 Following Writer, board-certified wypipologist, last real Negus alive. BlackAF History/Drapetomaniax podcast/theGrio…At the SAME DAMN TIME. Never reneged; Never will.
Slavoj Dryjačk @Uncle_Ramrod
471 Followers 916 Following just a nice boy who is looking for ~1000 of his closest friends to have fun online | dad | synesthete | socialism, webdev, and high-brow penis jokes
█̶̳̘͛̄̃͒̄̃.. @SHL0MS
43K Followers 999 Following #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ #͏ assets issuer
Debunk the Funk @Debunk_the_Funk
33K Followers 850 Following 👋🏾 I’m Dan, I’m a Ph.D. in molecular biology that covers bad science while making good science accessible.
Fani T. Willis @FaniforDA
121K Followers 347 Following
Bad History Takes @bad_histories
54K Followers 665 Following Debunking the worst history takes on the internet. DMs are open to submissions. Run by @JasonLHughes , a "gay, activist nerd who can't change his own oil."
beer person @CantEverDie
132K Followers 2K Following JUNE - L’CHAIM - TRANS DISINFO INFLUENCER - podcasting on @WesternKabuki & @CrateDiving - streaming games on https://t.co/kXjet8u2M2
John Walsh @itsJohnWalsh
7K Followers 1K Following Comedian, Comedy Writer, Editor, TikTok Trump & Apparently Ted Cruz 😅😂 I just wanna make people laugh! Follow me on all social @itsjohnwalsh
Shanon Ingles wants t.. @EvilShanon
2K Followers 1K Following Lead Writer @SkeletonKeyDev | @Martian_Brothel | @BAFTA | @IGDA | JUDAS | ROM: Neurodiver | Marvel's Midnight Suns | God of War: Ragnarok | Telltale's Batman
🔥Kareem Carr | Sta.. @kareem_carr
172K Followers 407 Following Stats PhD student @Harvard • Follow me if you’re curious about statistics and data science.
Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse
136K Followers 3K Following •America’s Stepdad•@jortscenterpod•alt @wapplehouse•
Son of a Postmaster @DouglasStolzenb
4K Followers 5K Following #DrumpfDespiser #Resist #FBR I am not as smart as I once thought I may have been. General Jackass. My apologies to all. 🌊
Betelgeuse Status @betelbot
44K Followers 3 Following Have I gone Supernova? Daily status tweet. Thanks to AAVSO observers for the data! I was built by @hippke and live at https://t.co/l1mBvr5Xal
Center for Reproducti.. @ReproRights
136K Followers 2K Following For over 30 years, the Center for Reproductive Rights has used the power of law to advance reproductive rights as fundamental human rights around the world.
FIRE @TheFIREorg
202K Followers 3K Following Join America’s Free Speech Movement: https://t.co/koVZIVXR9g 🔥
Moms_3_Liberty @Moms_3_Liberty
2K Followers 189 Following We are the group formerly known as Moms4Liberty but after some stuff went down, we had to rebrand. We are now Moms_3_Liberty!!!
First Contact Day Cou.. @VulcanCounter
9K Followers 564 Following Counting down the days to first contact with Vulcan, April 5, 2063. Live long and prosper, Humans.
Sen. Donnie Rifle, I-.. @SteakFrankhouse
10K Followers 2K Following Love too represent my state! All tweets are righteous slander. (205) 255-9375: Leave a comment. pronouns. FSU. Not a parody. Gone Huntin'
Dads Against Moms for.. @DadsLiberty
8K Followers 85 Following Group designed to expose the wrong doings of Moms for Liberty and help our children live normal lives with the freedom to choose.
Yusef Abdus Salaam @Dr_yusefsalaam_
376 Followers 871 Following 1/5th of the Exonerated Five Mr #Power Post HTM Entrepreneur | Speaker | Leader | Author | Member of Les Browm Masdmum Achievement Team Education
Christian Christensen @ChrChristensen
37K Followers 3K Following American. Professor at Stockholm University. Ph.D. University of Texas at Austin. Write about journalism, politics, culture. Tweets are mine alone.
TizzyEnt @TizzyEnt
587K Followers 2K Following Director & Editor for TV, Films & Music Videos. Winner of things you’ve never heard of. Project Greenlight Greenies nominee.
James Surowiecki @JamesSurowiecki
74K Followers 421 Following Author of The Wisdom of Crowds. Contributing writer for Fast Company. Editor at The Yale Review. I wrote The Financial Page for The New Yorker.
Valerie Jarrett @ValerieJarrett
187K Followers 549 Following @ObamaFoundation CEO. Proud mom & grandma. Advocate for equality & justice. NYT best selling author of #FindingMyVoice. Views are my own.
Oz Katerji @OzKaterji
216K Followers 12K Following Ukraine Correspondent. British-Lebanese conflict journalist & filmmaker based in Kyiv. Director of The Battle For Kyiv. Co-host of @DrillPod. RTs ≠ endorsement.
Zeke Hausfather @hausfath
90K Followers 810 Following "A tireless chronicler and commentator on all things climate" -NYTimes. Climate lead @stripe, writer @CarbonBrief, scientist @BerkeleyEarth, IPCC/NCA5 author.
Amy Coney Barrett Jus.. @Justice_ACB
9K Followers 11 Following SCOTUS Justice. Republican. Patriot. Mother. Super Spreader. Cult Follower. Fascist. Parody. Karen. Live Laugh Love. Bachelorette tweeter. #GirlBoss #MomBoss
Laphonza Butler @LaphonzaB
51K Followers 1K Following Mother. Partner. Believer. Organizer. Prev: @SEIU2015 @KamalaHarris @emilyslist #ElectWomen #UnionStrong
Mr. T @MrT
367K Followers 21 Following Footballer, Wrestler, Soldier, Bouncer, Bodyguard & actor. Professional Pitier Of Fools. Instagram: @officialipitythefool
Stephanie Winston Wol.. @SWinstonWolkoff
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153 Followers 109 Following MD, FAAP. Primary and urgent care pediatrics
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Poorly Aged Things @PoorlyAgedStuff
1.1M Followers 248 Following showcasing poorly-aged things. shill sometimes but no ads. retweets ≠ poorly aged. header: @NipChipCookies icon: @dreamywolfdd
Mark Bankston @BankstonAtLaw
18K Followers 219 Following Partner, Farrar & Ball. Bomb-throwing do-gooder. Half Robin Hood, half Blackbeard. Caught Alex Jones lying on the stand.
Ian Madrigal - The Mo.. @iansmadrig
19K Followers 2K Following Creative activist known for photobombing CEOs as the Monopoly Man & thread on Trump/Epstein. Trans & queer. They or he. @iansmadrig on everything
Russia Apologists Pos.. @russophileLs
91K Followers 500 Following Featuring takes from Tankies, MAGA, RT propagandists and many more. Feel free to DM submissions.
Lesbian Death Bed: Th.. @bitterkarella
13K Followers 1K Following Midnight Society founder @midnight_pals. Genderfluid transvestite goblin 🏳️⚧️👺 He/Him, She/Her. Three (3) x Hugo Nominee. Repp'd by @JJBker & @literaryfey
Secretary of the Depa.. @jasonrhd
515 Followers 2K Following Doctor Who, football, Doctor Who, football, Doctor Who, football… (2015+ US/UK politics too because Holy Hell. Please God let me go back to just DW and footie.)
What is Step 2 after radically not voting for Biden?
Might's well sign off, it's not getting any better than this
@BillAckman @NorthwesternU When you reward billionaires with low tax rates, lax regulations and unlimited dark money political spending, you get out-of-control wealth inequality, and a government that responds only to their needs. Bill has no problem with that arrangement. That’s why he can’t understand…
@muddaub This killed me
Has anyone checked to see if Elon's just wandering around the top floor of a hotel wearing a robe and Kleenex boxes on his feet? Storing jars of urine? Watching Ice Station Zebra over and over?
I am a Tesla fan, owner, and paltry early investor (the only time I’ve ever done that after a reporting trip) but it sounds like Elon has lost interest in running an automotive business. This is insane - Tesla just won the national charging competition! electrek.co/2024/04/29/tes…
@VerumVulnero1 @pjj23skidoo 1. The majority of Palestinians lives in the West Bank, ruled by Fatah. 2. Hamas was elected 18 years ago (as a progressive party back then) and rules autocratically since. 75% of todays population were not at voting age or even alive then.
Time is a flat circle. Some of you will wake up and realize you need to alter course to actually get things done. The rest of you will flip from left to right on a dime and blame all the wrong people for the holes you dug yourselves into. Choose wisely.
You are not the first generation to find out the world is cruel and unjust and you’re not the first ones to get told to blame the Jews or Black Dems while terrorists and oligarchs are soft sold to you in sympathetic terms.
@salstrange I am right now reading The Peloponnesian War and in Book 3 chap 47, Thucydides' description of revolution could exactly be describing today. It's uncanny. I still remember how proud the rioters were of destroying the Democratic convention in Chicago.
When white GenX didn’t get their rainbows too many of my peers blamed Democrats for trying to censor their music and video games. Too many fell into the selfish lies of libertarian bullshit that blamed affirmative action, etc., for not getting their promised unicorns.
This shit here is why we end up in these ouroboros cycles. You were not the first generation to get promised magic and rainbows. You were not the first generation to get told you could change the world with unicorns and fairy dust. ffs
@BillboardChris But Conservatives always tell me that parents know what's best for their kids.
@DanODonnellShow @UWMadison Hmm. I wonder why. Maybe being <$20 and the top results on google had something to do with it.
Everything in the world is a Jewish plot to these people. These people think the Jews are banning TikTok, the Jews run the banks, the Jews made traffic bad this morning so they were late to work.
With all due respect to the students protesting, it’ll be the most Northwestern thing imaginable if they’re the only encampment to negotiate themselves out of existence
Now Trump has to attend Barron’s graduation. Careful what you wish for. He will make it all about himself though.
@TheMrmattyG @TheWapplehouse @DeTahmineh You’re fan of a Boston sports team so we can only assume you’re incredibly racist
@DeTahmineh “No drugs or sex in public? How authoritarian! In Israel, we smoke crack and fuck on park benches.”
@SumFacet @ChicagoBeerSnob @ervin_pa Show that break down of 451 billion on "illegals, Love to see your data!
reading all the handwringing about “free speech” and “safety” and remembering Anne Applebaum wrote an article in 2002 explicitly calling for the targeted killing of Palestinian journalists for the crime of making Israel look bad
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