adam @adam_nyhoff
a damned fool. he/him. In heck Joined June 2015-
Tweets340
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Followers112
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Following197
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Likes3K
i think rob riggle would play chick hix in a live action cars remake
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adam retweeted
if your man watches last five years and is on Jamie’s side kick him to the curb
little known fact: burt’s bees lip balm is actually programmed to turn invisible after roughly 1-2 months of use!
my blood is the texture and consistency of old spice: moisturize with shea butter body wash
i want to throw myself through a penne pasta like a slide in a mcdonald’s play place
just had an existential epiphany on zoom with my parents lads
joining a pyramid scheme just to feel like a part of something
i wish i wish with all my heart to eat a bean and then to fart
i just want to be as funny as the narrator on Arrested Development
oh god i pray to you that someday i can wear ripped jeans without my dad saying “did they come like that”
i thought facebook was connecting me with mitch mcconnel for a not insignificant amount of time
if I am speaking with you, please avoid perceiving me. it makes me nervous :/
restaurants should start serving weed before their meals so the food tastes better. like ordering drinks but stinkier
we have reached that critical hour of the day where i decide whether or not i will eat today
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88K Followers 1K Following JPTWY Seasons 1-3 now on @adultswim and @hbomax. My new standup special 'SLOW & STEADY' just released : https://t.co/sd2CSFQUJg
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