Mr. Smith @amusingprof
Joined November 2015-
Tweets1K
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Followers1K
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Following4K
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Likes5K
Deep Work by Cal Newport | Book Summary paulminors.com/deep-work-cal-…
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Mr. Smith retweeted
For all the #introverts who suffer from RBF. 😒
Mr. Smith retweeted
When 3 people have sex, it's called a threesome. When 2 people have sex, it's called a twosome. Now I understand why they call you handsome
Mr. Smith retweeted
My wife told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what... She couldn't do either!
Mr. Smith retweeted
Just before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels! My cremation is going to be epic.
Mr. Smith retweeted
Interviewer "describe yourself in three words". Me "lazy"
Mr. Smith retweeted
I booked an Asian prostitute last night but she arrived 3 hours late. She loved me wrong time.
Mr. Smith retweeted
The postman left me a note to say my package was too large. My wife disagrees.
Mr. Smith retweeted
I went to bed with a blind girl last night, and she said I had the biggest dick she'd ever laid her hands on I said "You're pulling my leg"
Mr. Smith retweeted
Woman: Does Viagra work? Pharmacist: Yes Woman: Can you get it over the counter? Pharmacist: Yes if I take two
Cops try to stop runaway golfcart youtube.com/watch?v=II2U6O…
Mr. Smith retweeted
Accurate
Mr. Smith retweeted
This is how I wanna die
Mr. Smith retweeted
when everyone is gone and you're home alone
Mr. Smith retweeted
Day 1: [puts thing down] "I'll take care of this tomorrow." Day 286: [walks by thing again.]
Mr. Smith retweeted
My wife probably tells me that I never listen to her.
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