Bar Tender @bartender_h8s_u
I've been working in the restaurant industry for a long time. Maybe too long. Los Angeles, CA Joined July 2016-
Tweets316
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Followers326
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Following110
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Likes459
Stony thought… Peanut butter kills way more people than marijuana does. So why is peanut butter still legal? … maybe Big Peanut Butter has been controlling us all along.
My husband and I just had a very heated debate on who the father of Bluey’s child is: McKenzie or Jean Luc.
How many endorsement deals does Snoop Dogg have? The only thing he loves more than weed is selling out.
I’m calling in now… In 20 years, political debates will literally be mud wrestling competitions.
There is absolutely no reason for any civilian in America to own an AR-15 rifle. Period.
I don’t work in an office. I work from home. Which means I don’t have a work phone. Because of this, any weekday phone call with my mother begins with her asking, “Are you working today?”
“You’re just paying your dues.” The thing you say if you want someone to hate you.
Whiskey is for celebrating. Gin is for getting through the day.
If you hung out all day with someone who barely speaks the same language as you, is bipolar, and you also had to wipe their ass— you’d be tired, too. *** *** Life with toddlers
My husband just informed me his love language is blow jobs.
I bought a large bag of chips labeled “Party Size!” So, is anything smaller a “Lonely Size!’”?
Looks like life has boiled down to one decision... Stay at home and lose your mind OR Go outside and get shot
Turns out it’s “Tenet”. I thought it was “Tennant”. A movie about someone who goes back in time to pay their rent during the pandemic. #TenetMovie
As much as the pandemic sucks, hearing my mom say “Cooovid” in her THICK Minnesotan accent makes me laugh every time.
The greatest porn library our nation has ever seen
The greatest porn library our nation has ever seen
When your manager asks you why you’re 30 minutes late for your dinner shift again...
When your manager asks you why you’re 30 minutes late for your dinner shift again...
People who body shame pregnant women have clearly never been pregnant

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