christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt

boop boop! 🚀 east hollywood Joined December 2011

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7K
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236
Following

534
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41K

Horse ebooks @Horse_ebooks

13 years ago

Everything happens so much

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Matthew Goldin @matthewgoldin

2 years ago

I love throwing away all the extra Thanksgiving food the next morning.

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Zach Raffio @zachraffio

2 years ago

Ghostface is not returning for ‘SCREAM 7’ (Source: DEADLINE)

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nathan fielder @nathanfielder

2 years ago

Congrats to the actors of the world

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Eric Moneypenny @EricMoneypenny

2 years ago

Tonight's BITHOLE at the @PackTheater is gonna be nuts!!! 40+ people doing characters, impressions, clowning, fun stuff, and weird stuff! Get your tickets here: eventbrite.com/e/bithole-1-ye…

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cory snearowski @corysnearowski

2 years ago

You ratted on my uncle in 1978 and he gets out of jail tonight

Tim Allen @ofctimallen

2 years ago

You ratted on my uncle in 1978 and he gets out of jail tonight

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charlie @chunkbardey

2 years ago

4 times 3 being 12. that is a classic

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Hot Wheels cars killing and ramming each other, sucking and fucking making love emotionally, getting all fucked up and war torn, facing consequences for their actions, battling depression and guilt. Sucking and fucking getting all sucked and fucked (emotional)

DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm

2 years ago

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christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt

2 years ago

i’m not even looking at my 600 tweets i’m just blind scrolling they mean nothing to me

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christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt

2 years ago

.@caitlinibot: "cane’s 👏 gets 👏 you 👏 pregnant 👏 with cane’s 👏so 👏 that 👏 you 👏 will 👏 want 👏 more 👏 cane’s!"

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TRAFON(s Backup Account) @RiseFallNickBck

2 years ago

Bikini Bottom can be a rough place to live.

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christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt

2 years ago

my fiancée was playing tears of the kingdom during her company’s big zoom layoff this morning

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christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt

2 years ago

therapist: hot mario isn’t real he can’t hurt you hot mario:

Supper Mario Broth @MarioBrothBlog

2 years ago

therapist: hot mario isn’t real he can’t hurt you hot mario:

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christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt

2 years ago

inventing a new kind of thing called Scary Boat

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Jo @JoniWitchell

2 years ago

I got that (hot)dog(s) in me.

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No Nonsense Neurodivergent @NoNonsenseND

2 years ago

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Ultimari Damacy @UltimaShadowX

2 years ago

I wanted to get a milkshake today and asked the McDonald's drive thru what flavor the Grimace shake was and she just responded "Grimace."

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Cat McGee | catmcgee.sol @CatMcGeeCode

5 years ago

@NasheedWallace Yesterday I was walking to an interview. There was a starving dog on the road. I stopped to feed him & missed the interview. The next day I got a call asking to come in to do the interview. I was surprised, but I went. Then the interviewer came in. He was the dog.