Pastrami Mommy @Ewelannawhite
a half-sour pickle | *ctor, vo artist and comedy writer | contributor @realpunknews @harddrivemag @bwaybeatnews linktr.ee/Elannawhite She/her Joined July 2010-
Tweets10K
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Followers4K
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Following4K
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Likes146K
(sexting) uh-huh and then after you finish we’ll go to the spices and herbs store
I’m annoyed by two hundred people!!!!!! *Opens a bag of goldfish crackers* Hmm… actually I exist to love
fancy pizza doesn’t have enough cheese
they should make a tree that’s comfortable to sit with your back against it
just saw a cocktail on a menu with burrata water in it ridgewood needs to be STOPPED
though the discourse may be never-ending one should always stop to ponder, “who am i without a little outfit?”
love the tinned fish trend. cat food for adults that costs $40
fuck it, sunday night cheese board dinner
my literal favorite bitch. suppository night goblin heathen worm queen of wet earth. dunce of dunces and blight of all birds. spirit sister of the turgid rat, eye of the hidden, long forgotten matriarch of the oldest failures of god. final diamond at the end of time. the Kiwi
my literal favorite bitch. suppository night goblin heathen worm queen of wet earth. dunce of dunces and blight of all birds. spirit sister of the turgid rat, eye of the hidden, long forgotten matriarch of the oldest failures of god. final diamond at the end of time. the Kiwi https://t.co/WEsmVv2AU1
whenever i find out about a new vitamin you can be deficient in, that’s the kind of shit that pisses me off like what do you mean i need to worry about vitamin k now?????
Whenever a hot girl says something funny, guys are like wait that was actually really funny. Like yes…….that’s why I said it
70 degrees in nyc today
when you open up a fresh bulb of garlic and one of those freaks is the size of the palm of your hand, that is something that is very positive to my mental health
having a hot doctor is so important because instead of saying “i have a doctor’s appointment” you get to say “i have an appointment with my hot doctor”
Hollow Knight (2017)
anyone have a pet who likes to hang out with a comfort toy in their mouth? waffle has a pretty impressive rotation
love how a one piece bathing suit is $82 but one single bikini top? also $82 :)
just a poor boy @runthejules18
6K Followers 5K Following just a communist sentient soda cup. 25 years old
Max Gross ☻ @maxgotjokes
18K Followers 2K Following Headlines @Reductress, features @TheOnion. Words @Slate @Autostraddle and more. The nation’s foremost scholar on “And Just Like That.” He/him
mrs papaw @mrsballs69
11K Followers 2K Following I’m shocking and borderline unpalatable, but hey, at least I’m not a bruins fan
limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
Iris✨ @Jest_Iris
18K Followers 2K Following out of pocket bc my pants don't have any NYC Comedian Writer Gamer Jewish af IG: jest.iris | words in @Reductress & @HardDriveMag featured in @adweek
Arielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.
Destiny Allegedly @DestinyHarHar
4K Followers 2K Following 28 she/her. Publicly unhinged for eternity ♉️☀️♌️🌙♊️⬆️
glennis ❤️🔥 @theglennisshow
11K Followers 1K Following @theglennisshow wherever there are glennis shows | extremely relatable & pretty traumatized comedian
lu ʚ♡⃛ɞ @cozycapricorn
7K Followers 7K Following she/they/he 🏳️🌈 25 🎀 mdni, 18+ ONLY! #AuDHD ∞ 🧠 mutuals: @highluiza 🪴 just a girl/dude 🧚🏻♀️🫧 777 💫
moll atreides @darthmoll_
2K Followers 1K Following molly⚡️she/her⚡️music, classic rock, star wars, dune, advocating for human rights, bourbon, cats, ending capitalism, mental health, sci-fi, thc, true crime
Kevin Burke @Ke7inBurke
5K Followers 1K Following hey! | headline contributor @theonion @reductress @bwaybeatnews | he/him
Jennifer Begakis @jenbegakis
11K Followers 3K Following Begakis is fun to say. historian of capitalism finance & Disney. Ph.D. Candidate @Cornell | @UCBerkeley alumni. the opinions & jokes expressed are my own NFTs.
Sarah Dutcher @itssarahdutcher
5K Followers 1K Following certified california junior ranger (she/her). stupid sense of humor but interesting takes. Frodo Baggins stan account. tip jar open IG @itssarahdutcher
chase @_chase_____
12K Followers 1K Following girl writer | associate editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | she/her
QueenGee @QueenGe65261056
77 Followers 348 Following
M @M4171291326519M
0 Followers 46 Following
Stef as The Black Rai.. @blackrainbow272
153 Followers 359 Following I make better second impressions. A lone self-aware wolf. A wounded healer. The loneliest girl in NY.
Ainsley Campbell @AinsCamp
61 Followers 5K Following
julia Oelbaum @JuliaOelbaum
239 Followers 2K Following
Chalupa Brown @fusstache
235 Followers 867 Following Podcast host, egg eater, cool son, shark tank reject, internet enthusiast, DEAD MAN.
AM @baseprole
7K Followers 1K Following writer, @the_antifada podcaster, author of the green book: https://t.co/OGAhXpiSwC
karpan diem. @donniedelillo
494 Followers 2K Following minor ridgewood micro-blogger. @BushwickDaily @law360 @SinglesJukebox
homosexual court jest.. @sweatpantspapi
7K Followers 882 Following i’m online and a bitch. they/them.
Kilby @DQ7bsye1xcFNjX
68 Followers 1K Following I am a lively and cheerful girl who would like to meet a good friend.
Megan MacKay @mmmegan
9K Followers 1K Following disrespectful comedy imp, mid-tier necromancer, senior writer @FortniteGame and @LEGOFortnite, contributor @TheBeaverton
Emily Flake @EmilyFlake
12K Followers 2K Following St. Nell's Humor Writing Residency: https://t.co/hy5PTtl7Qr
m @fgymbgka
0 Followers 6 Following
d cup don draper @_rachelbeals
734 Followers 683 Following a tender, foolish, frantic, celestial, ethereal hot girl. intuitive tarot reader + birth chart analyzer. link in bio ✨
devan @devanmay_xo
52 Followers 111 Following
deirdre♡ @cozydeirdre
567 Followers 2K Following welcome….i post my rats a lot and other silly things 🌿 risd ‘21 🌸 art account : @deirdreillus
Joe Miciak @jlmiciak
1K Followers 322 Following please slow down I’m highly susceptible to spin @hotelartthief
MD Ariful islam @MDArifulis72367
293 Followers 1K Following My name is Ariful islam I'm Twitter x Digital marketing expert I will Do organic Twitter x marketing to grow Followers fast
thrillhouse @nickykens
3K Followers 1K Following splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, excellent fun ‘til you get to know her | circles @nicky_kens
rebar mcentire? @rebarmcentire
445 Followers 382 Following one a those they/them queers • cops are gross
ابو عمار @WXjaWBasUviruxA
60 Followers 846 Following
William Gerrard @Bill_Gerrard
1K Followers 1K Following The Screenwriter who employs his Leisure ill
Lucas P. Johnson @LucasPJohn
3K Followers 2K Following I put the bi in bitter. Black, queer, writer, educator, boundary-setting king. Tweets represent my personal views only. 30 | 21+
Kayla Chow Show @KaylaChowShow
47K Followers 15K Following 💙 Survived my mid-mid-life crisis. //SUPER MARRIED//BOY MOM//CATS//TACOS//SUNSCREEN//BEER//MURDERINO//LACTOSE INTOLERANT// 💙VENMO @ Kayla-Chow-Show
Gayest Tone @gayest_tone
17K Followers 4K Following
daseinsof @maxeleee
434 Followers 1K Following postmodernishe malcontent. heschel made me frum. 📸 Lucia and James Joyce (metempsychosis)
katie @knifebun_
527 Followers 333 Following a cult classic ⚔️ 🏳️🌈fromsoft/chatting streamer @ https://t.co/2WbQZhVhPB 💿 biz email: [email protected] (she/they)
full slack @full_slack
827 Followers 416 Following hauntology gift shop proprietor admired by his community🪩all opinions are mined (precious gems)🧩dank tunes at https://t.co/q96W9Brr9e
studio_dad @studio_daddy
2K Followers 2K Following Publisher: @textmerecords Manager: @whoisrickylake Producer/Mixer @differentfur : Toro y Moi / KFlay / Dude York / Tia Nomore / Silva $FWB @PortionClub69 $SFO
Conman @ItsYaBoyConman
130 Followers 887 Following Hello my name is Connor and I like M*A*S*H Who Dat⚜️
Sanditon1820 @sanditon1820
82 Followers 423 Following Fanfic reader, writer and editor #Sanditon and #lizzyanddarcy
LaLaLyds @LaLa_Lyds
19K Followers 4K Following nostalgic for last week's tuna sandwich. knock it off.
just a poor boy @runthejules18
6K Followers 5K Following just a communist sentient soda cup. 25 years old
Max Gross ☻ @maxgotjokes
18K Followers 2K Following Headlines @Reductress, features @TheOnion. Words @Slate @Autostraddle and more. The nation’s foremost scholar on “And Just Like That.” He/him
mrs papaw @mrsballs69
11K Followers 2K Following I’m shocking and borderline unpalatable, but hey, at least I’m not a bruins fan
limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
Iris✨ @Jest_Iris
18K Followers 2K Following out of pocket bc my pants don't have any NYC Comedian Writer Gamer Jewish af IG: jest.iris | words in @Reductress & @HardDriveMag featured in @adweek
Arielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.
Destiny Allegedly @DestinyHarHar
4K Followers 2K Following 28 she/her. Publicly unhinged for eternity ♉️☀️♌️🌙♊️⬆️
glennis ❤️🔥 @theglennisshow
11K Followers 1K Following @theglennisshow wherever there are glennis shows | extremely relatable & pretty traumatized comedian
lu ʚ♡⃛ɞ @cozycapricorn
7K Followers 7K Following she/they/he 🏳️🌈 25 🎀 mdni, 18+ ONLY! #AuDHD ∞ 🧠 mutuals: @highluiza 🪴 just a girl/dude 🧚🏻♀️🫧 777 💫
moll atreides @darthmoll_
2K Followers 1K Following molly⚡️she/her⚡️music, classic rock, star wars, dune, advocating for human rights, bourbon, cats, ending capitalism, mental health, sci-fi, thc, true crime
Kevin Burke @Ke7inBurke
5K Followers 1K Following hey! | headline contributor @theonion @reductress @bwaybeatnews | he/him
Jennifer Begakis @jenbegakis
11K Followers 3K Following Begakis is fun to say. historian of capitalism finance & Disney. Ph.D. Candidate @Cornell | @UCBerkeley alumni. the opinions & jokes expressed are my own NFTs.
Sarah Dutcher @itssarahdutcher
5K Followers 1K Following certified california junior ranger (she/her). stupid sense of humor but interesting takes. Frodo Baggins stan account. tip jar open IG @itssarahdutcher
chase @_chase_____
12K Followers 1K Following girl writer | associate editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | she/her
mentally unstable red.. @BiggRatBastard
13K Followers 2K Following BTE ///. bisexual, bipolar, and a bitch ///. cashapp: $briiash07
anatomy of a wall @parietines
2K Followers 552 Following the yellow tongue of a woman forewarned / indie memphis / mubi, cinema scope, sight and sound, amongst others
Day Lane @DayOfLane
7K Followers 444 Following Producer & multidisciplinary artist • Co-Founder @LimboLaneGames • Face Love // Smile For Me // GREAT GOD GROVE • Pfp: @Andaerz
Yugo Limbo 👉 @yugsly
33K Followers 830 Following A peculiar cheese. Gamedev, comics, animation. // BE KIND, MY NEIGHBOR // SMILE FOR ME// CO-FOUNDER @LimboLaneGames// NOW DEVELOPING GREAT GOD GROVE @ LIMBOLANE
LIMBOLANE @LimboLaneGames
11K Followers 10 Following Indie game studio founded by Day Lane (@DayOfLane) and Yugo Limbo (@yugsly) Now Developing: GREAT GOD GROVE !! Previously: Smile For Me, FACE LOVE
Chalupa Brown @fusstache
235 Followers 867 Following Podcast host, egg eater, cool son, shark tank reject, internet enthusiast, DEAD MAN.
karpan diem. @donniedelillo
494 Followers 2K Following minor ridgewood micro-blogger. @BushwickDaily @law360 @SinglesJukebox
rachael burke @thatsso_rachael
5K Followers 2K Following 🌻jolly af🌻 Past: @drewbarrymoretv, @BringTheFunny cast, 2 Emmy wins @FallonTonight. 🇮🇪 she/her #BLM tweets don’t reflect my employer.
jamie @veryhotmomm
23K Followers 2K Following cold bartender, warm heart | work: @thebafflermag @thedrift_mag @Bookforum | rep: @aylazeef | check out my 2 year proust project below
julia ☻ (naive melo.. @altmsfrizzle
11K Followers 752 Following graphic designer making shapes ✂️✏️ 🔳 🔴⭐️ annoying about new wave 💌 (NO DMS): [email protected]
CC @BBYCELS444
7K Followers 627 Following Girl-shaped menace. Also niche perfume, pickles nd fashion enthusiast
homosexual court jest.. @sweatpantspapi
7K Followers 882 Following i’m online and a bitch. they/them.
Megan MacKay @mmmegan
9K Followers 1K Following disrespectful comedy imp, mid-tier necromancer, senior writer @FortniteGame and @LEGOFortnite, contributor @TheBeaverton
alyssa @alyssaraetho
2K Followers 1K Following I trust myself! I’m a woman she believes in! @1nf1n1t3j3st3rs
Cat Graffam @catgraffam
38K Followers 1K Following i always land on my feet & throw up under the bed -- art maker, video person, trans. Inquiries & threats: [email protected]
gator guy @gatorsafterdark
37K Followers 1K Following seth | tweeting about gators @gatorsdaily | building transit advocacy tools @transitmatters | he/him
d cup don draper @_rachelbeals
734 Followers 683 Following a tender, foolish, frantic, celestial, ethereal hot girl. intuitive tarot reader + birth chart analyzer. link in bio ✨
connor @ccnr_b
31K Followers 99 Following
deirdre♡ @cozydeirdre
567 Followers 2K Following welcome….i post my rats a lot and other silly things 🌿 risd ‘21 🌸 art account : @deirdreillus
EMILY SUNDBERG @Emily_Sundberg
5K Followers 1K Following stop copying me [email protected] I write the hottest daily business newsletter.
kristin @jkac
3K Followers 1K Following
Imogen West-Knights @ImogenWK
22K Followers 2K Following Writer in @gdnlongread, @nytimes, @FTWeekend, @Prospect_uk, @Slate etc. First novel, DEEP DOWN, out now. Rep @Kat_Aitken. Write games with @HakanssonAugust
Joe Miciak @jlmiciak
1K Followers 322 Following please slow down I’m highly susceptible to spin @hotelartthief
lore denim spaghetti @LauraJeanSings
1K Followers 803 Following musician & writer & bad performer • nyc • fake seafood allergy • 6’3”
Audrey Kennedy @_AudreyKennedy
5K Followers 2K Following Twin Cities lifestyle + social @axios, former dating advice columnist, amateur film photographer, frequently overdressed. Follow Axios Twin Cities on IG! ⬇
new jersey updates @doubtpointv2
5K Followers 798 Following every saint has a past. every sinner has a future.
'You're toast' is such an odd threat. I can't remember a day where I *wouldn't prefer* to be a slice of warm, fancy, farmer's market sourdough shimmering with salted butter and local honey.
finally purchased Merrily tickets
this film photo my friend took of me photographing my hot dog is the most beautiful thing… I’ve ever seen…
Welcome to Julio's fantasy world. The HBO Original Series #Fantasmas is coming to @StreamOnMax this June.
Here is the finished flower crown made with hedgerow cuttings!
Just 3 cute little squirrel looking out the window. #birdcpp
This was crazy..
I had a necklace made for a former coworker and she cried today when I gave it to her. Her sweet ol’ ween passed away a few weeks ago…he was such a good boy and she loved him so much. The little embroidered picture looks just like him 🥺
Flash Evans watching tv and eating snacks 👍🏻
Don't forget to put your May flowers out. This old Irish custom involves gathering flowers on May Eve (or in some places on May day morning) and leaving them in front of the main threshold. It was believed to protect the house from harm or evil.
I’m annoyed by two hundred people!!!!!! *Opens a bag of goldfish crackers* Hmm… actually I exist to love
This Spotted Sandpiper, one of Central Park's first shorebirds of the year, visited the Pool today.
ordered mozzarella sticks and they put in 9 instead of 8
My 10 y/o son has a lot of friends who show up on our doorstep but by far my most fave lil dude has got to be the one who always appears holdin a fistful of ham
if your shorts aren't high waisted, then what are they? you know what I mean?
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