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chase @_chase_____

girl writer | editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys @theonion | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | @mckayleygourley.bsky.social | she/her mckayleygourley.com nyc Joined December 2019
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_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

a week ago

11:45-12:15 is shorter than 11:30-12. this is basic time math

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

a week ago

i fish for compliments by saying the compliment i want to hear then asking the person to repeat it back to me

chase retweeted
Reductress Profile Picture

Reductress @Reductress

2 weeks ago

‘Yeah, I’m Into Cars,’ Says Woman Who Can Identify a Honda and a Toyota and That’s It: ow.ly/VH4y50WMnO6

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

2 weeks ago

feeling down. need to watch a video of a dog jumping into its owners arms after doing an agility course

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

2 weeks ago

peek a boo is scary for babies bc they think they can finally have a minute to themselves but then u keep coming back

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

2 weeks ago

i want a raise but i want them to give it to me in $40 increments whenever i could really use $40

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

2 weeks ago

halfway up a staircase. fuck still got half to go

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

2 weeks ago

“pathetic” i mutter to no one about nothing in particular

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

2 weeks ago

this is what we in show business call getting attacked by ur tiger mid-show and subsequently dying from ur injuries. there rly isn’t any other way to put it

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

3 weeks ago

“would u like to take a look at our dessert menu?” oh no thank u we’re just going to grab 40 mints from the hostess stand on our way out :) and a toothpick and a business card

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

3 weeks ago

ppl who fall in love with ai should just get a raven. they also talk to u plus u get the bonus of having an ominous “guy w a raven” vibe. even better would be two ravens. one good one evil. and both of them have significant influence over you. but im getting ahead of myself

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

3 weeks ago

having adhd is all about taking one big task and breaking it down into 12 smaller, more manageable tasks and then getting overwhelmed bc of all the tasks you have to do

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

3 weeks ago

this is also what i call my beautiful wife <3

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Pop Base @PopBase

3 weeks ago

this is also what i call my beautiful wife <3

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

3 weeks ago

what do i do for work? scams mostly. sometimes dupes. i actually went to school for intimidation but found manipulation to be more my speed. minored in deception w a focus on old ppl. interned at one of the big 4 trickery firms. learned a TON abt preying on ppl’s fears

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

3 weeks ago

um yeah my cat’s my best friend ? he’s also my accountant, my primary care physician, my realtor, my grad school advisor, and my work wife. he is my dad

_chase_____ Profile Picture

chase @_chase_____

3 weeks ago

i used to go out to my backyard when i was little & control the wind for a little. breezes, gusts, etc. nothing rly crazy. some of u probably don’t believe me but pretty much i was a minor god of wind from ages 8-9

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