Chris Kortmann @chriskort

Husband of @MeghanHarlow. Vegas enthusiast. Fan of NYG, NYM, NYR, and TOT. Michelin star collector. Burrito connoisseur. Smithtown, New York Joined April 2009

Tweets

3K
Followers

196
Following

276
Likes

3K

Chris Kortmann @chriskort

a year ago

In 2017, I paid Cards Against Humanity to protect a pristine plot of border land from Trump’s racist wall. But then an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—stole my land and dumped his shit all over it. @elonmusk owes me $100. #ElonOwesMe100Bucks ElonOwesYou100Dollars.com

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Chris Kortmann @chriskort

2 years ago

. @OptumRx is the WORST. Decided that the medication that I was on for 3 years that worked flawlessly shouldn't be covered anymore, even though the other meds in the same category are covered! Greedy fat cats that value profits over people! All about the 💵💵💵

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Richard Staff @RichardStaff

3 years ago

Liz Truss had such an awful 44 days that you’d think the Mets traded for her at the deadline

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Godot Jove @AC3ATTORN3Y

3 years ago

"Gen Z is obsessed with subtitles" man i cant fucking hear what the characters are saying bc nobody knows how to mix their fuckin audio

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Matt Davies @MatttDavies

3 years ago

I scream, you scream Newsday.com/matt

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Thomas Zimmer @tzimmer_history

3 years ago

We are in the midst of a multi-pronged, multi-level reactionary counter-mobilization that has a judicial arm, a political arm, an intellectual arm, and a paramilitary arm, all flanked by a highly effective media/propaganda machine. And it is rapidly accelerating. A thread:

Thomas Zimmer @tzimmer_history

3 years ago

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Chris Kortmann @chriskort

3 years ago

Weekend Update: Goober the Clown on Abortion - SNL youtu.be/exSZQICbSb8 via @YouTube

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Matt Davies @MatttDavies

4 years ago

Newsday.com/matt

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Scorigami @NFL_Scorigami

4 years ago

HOU 5 - 31 ARI Final That's Scorigami!! It's the 1068th unique final score in NFL history.

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Misnomer @Misnomer

4 years ago

It’s gotta be the gabagool.

KMOX St. Louis News @kmoxnews

4 years ago

It’s gotta be the gabagool.

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Rio Hotel & Casino Las Vegas @RioVegas

4 years ago

Eat. Sleep. Nachos. Repeat. 😋

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Sarah Sinclair @sarbearsmiley

4 years ago

GIVEAWAY! 🐝 There has been so much love for my #NYTSpellingBee hat pattern, but not everyone knows how to knit—so I decided to create this special giveaway hat just for the Twitter #HiveMind! Just retweet this post to enter; I'll pick a random winner on Weds 8/25! 🙂 @thegridkid

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Matt Davies @MatttDavies

4 years ago

Newsday.com/matt

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SwiftOnSecurity @SwiftOnSecurity

6 years ago

“What if we patch and it breaks something.” What if you don’t patch and instead sabotage the productivity of your entire workforce for years through inexplicable software issues they learn to stop complaining about by the damning numbness of your IT department and its leadership.

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The Pinball Hall of Fame @PinballVegas

5 years ago

We have finally begun to move pinball machines out of our old location and into our new building on the Vegas Strip! We’ll announce opening dates soon. 🙌🏼

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Steven I. Weiss @steveniweiss

5 years ago

One of the more funny/sad/tragic parts of this GameStop activity is the misplaced sense of populism. People really think they're busting Wall Street, and sticking it to The Man. No. Wall Street is profiting immensely, and the Man is getting much richer, thanks to you.