DadJokeTexts @dadjoketexts
Dad Joke Text Messages. We'll send you one amazing Dad Joke via text message, each morning. Sign up for 1 Month of hilarious free daily text messages! dadjoketexts.co Being A Dad Joined January 2022-
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What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare. #dadjoke
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Where do young cows eat lunch? In the calf-ateria. #dadjoke
What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller. #dadjoke
A girl once asked me what my heart desired, apparently blood, oxygen and neural messages were all wrong answers #dadjokeoftheday
Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's two-tired. #bestdadjoke
I just got fired from a florist, apparently I took too many leaves. #dadjokeoftheday
My wife said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort. #dadjokeoftheday
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on. #bestdadjoke
Never Trust Someone With Graph Paper... They're always plotting something. #dadjokeoftheday
Dad, can you put my shoes on? I don't think they'll fit me. #dadjoke
Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? Dunno, they're just a bit shady. #dadjokeoftheday
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian #bestdadjoke
What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint! #dadjoke
The Swiss must've been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife. #dadjokeoftheday
Why was the broom late for the meeting? He overswept. #dadjokeoftheday
The biggest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from eating too much pi. #dadjokeoftheday
How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents. #bestdadjoke
Why did the opera singer go sailing? They wanted to hit the high Cs. #bestdadjoke
Why does Waldo only wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted. #bestdadjoke
Syble Wandell @wand_syb
67 Followers 5K Following
Joe Gunderson @BigJoeGun
468 Followers 2K Following ✝️ cohost of @TwinsNationPod. If you shop at Amazon, please consider using https://t.co/YbBLmLPaRH Luke 15:19 Follow on #PSF app
Tali Lomboy @ta_lombo
69 Followers 5K Following
Lorie Hilborn @HilbornLor52689
75 Followers 5K Following
Zunairah Buchetto @buchet_zunaira
52 Followers 5K Following
Barb Robichard @BRobichard5709
76 Followers 5K Following
Shirley Eberlein @shir_eberle
55 Followers 5K Following
US Citizen @MRSIL
30 Followers 579 Following
John Geurds @johnteddyK
35 Followers 351 Following Husband to a beautiful wife! Father to 2 cats and a puppy! Craft beer enthusiast! Black ipa lover. Home Brewer.
Meg @Meg314817251776
1 Followers 22 Following
Charel Cronje @CharelCronje
14 Followers 107 Following You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. In what world could you possibly beat me?
Dolores @dolores_melius3
416 Followers 3K Following
Sean Crim @CrimSean
92 Followers 187 Following
Ted Lindner @TedLindnerRadio
1K Followers 1K Following Radio/Music Geek, Long Suffering Mets/Islanders fan, Anchor at Fox News Headlines 24/7 Sirius XM 115
Richard @RSmith1878
30 Followers 229 Following
Vincent @Ninorc_vj
41 Followers 121 Following
Ash @leqknight
31 Followers 153 Following
Estell @jenkins31estell
249 Followers 3K Following
Franco Fitzgerald @FrancoFitz3483
134 Followers 3K Following
Numb Skully @StoicGaboon
132 Followers 912 Following Expert Personal Business Minderer | Amateur Smarta$$ | Speaks fluent sarcasm | SmashMouth University Alum | Salty⚓️Vet
Anthony Horan @horan_anthony
71 Followers 562 Following generally teams in blue, nothing to do with work, if in doubt it was probably a joke 🙈
Doc + Healthcare Stra.. @Prajkumar86
246 Followers 179 Following Healthcare IT consultant, EM physician, Dogfather, poet, lover of the Nervous system. Music & Movie lover. I share Healthcare & IT posts & a budding Podcaster
sabrina @sassy0318
179 Followers 1K Following
Mike Fandrey @MikeFandrey
46 Followers 173 Following
Beverly @smith_beverly46
118 Followers 3K Following
Alberto Lupo Janelli @LVPVS3
260 Followers 733 Following Nemo propheta in Patria est. Maior et longinquo reverentia.
Maricho bicho @Marichoes
35 Followers 128 Following
Dean Honan @DeanHonan
94 Followers 804 Following
Nigel Hartley @langland_fisher
333 Followers 2K Following Architect and chartered town planner. Fly fisher, fly tier, wine lover
Paula Houser @HouserPaul81136
106 Followers 3K Following
Dale H 🇺🇸 🇺�.. @11bullet
185 Followers 2K Following Avid cyclist ,Gardener, servant to a black&white cat, Proud Duluth Native !
theartsyfartsy @Travelingl41644
356 Followers 2K Following
[email protected] @sayhi2mr1derful
145 Followers 884 Following
Peter Mwai @Peeshens004
13 Followers 38 Following
RemesKendrick@254 @254_marcel
0 Followers 157 Following
AFin @Fin48529
33 Followers 77 Following
David Asmussen @Dasmussen
434 Followers 1K Following Marketsquare, Creative Director, Art Director, Copywriter, Dad. Retweets and/or hearts are not = endorcements.
Defense @Defensinator
186 Followers 607 Following
Marianne McBride @Marianne_Paul
106 Followers 628 Following The most dangerous thing is an ignorant mankind
Charel Cronje @CharelCronje
14 Followers 107 Following You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. In what world could you possibly beat me?
James Little @LittJam
3 Followers 37 Following
Tara E McPhee @Tnutta
58 Followers 319 Following
William Phan @willyphan
9 Followers 43 Following
Maricho bicho @Marichoes
35 Followers 128 Following
gerald lannan @mckinneysaint
11 Followers 240 Following
Dean Honan @DeanHonan
94 Followers 804 Following
Phil Shaull @pshaull
140 Followers 753 Following
Paul Haser @SurgeryDad
70 Followers 1K Following FACS, FRCSC, RPVI Husband to an amazing woman, father to 5 outstanding daughters, dedicated to making the earth better for all creatures- #Health4ALL
•KœDAK KıWı• @myapplesauce
201 Followers 93 Following Goooôoood Morning. 🧠 Speaker. SiLLY BOY. Athlete. Fisherman. Dragon Dad. Œverthinker. Reader. Writer. Trader. Farmer. I’ll do it ¿ ∞
Daniel Kalmeta @DaneKalmeta
47 Followers 518 Following
Tom Rogers @foreverall21
4 Followers 2K Following
Marios Georgiou @step_mariosg
124 Followers 343 Following Marios Georgiou BA.Hons PGCE FIRP. Co-Founder of Step Teachers Ltd - an ethical approach to teacher recruitment. #whereteachersmatter
Mike Fandrey @MikeFandrey
46 Followers 173 Following
Court Sansom @CourtSansom
331 Followers 2K Following my tweets fall into 3 categories: cursing about politics, getting expedited customer service from brands, and flirting shamelessly with celebrities 🏳️🌈😍
Ryan @rfitz78
137 Followers 347 Following Dad. Husband. Veteran. Business owner. Baseball. "Speech is free, but you have to pay for your lies."
Randy Rustman @RangerRust
30 Followers 364 Following
legen_wait4_dary @legen_wait4_dar
2 Followers 22 Following
Another Ninja @superninjakb
809 Followers 670 Following Husband, Father, Friend, Baseball Coach, Truth seeker, Trader, MMA journeyman, Rider, Country boy. Self proclaimed Ninja. #dogecoin #carnivore #braves
R @ralejadoclemens
6 Followers 132 Following Just like anyother person in this crazy, depressing, but has it moments World.
Joseph E Conroy PhD @drjoeconroy
482 Followers 806 Following Board Cert Neuropsychologist-Clinical Psychologist. Lifespan Practice- Aerospace Psychology, LD/ADHD, Sport Perf/NPsych, Resiliency. Seton Hall Pirate
Todd Larkin @TheRealTLark82
117 Followers 629 Following A husband, dad, cannabis lover, 45th Combat Infantry Veteran and Back To The Future enthusiast
Emmanuel Bozumbil @YinbeyBozumbil
212 Followers 490 Following Let me self empower you. And a strong die-hard @ManUtd and @FCBarcelona fan.
Mark Bell @markpbell123
6 Followers 75 Following
Ryan @OrborosRyan
449 Followers 475 Following
Drew Milliken @drewmilliken
263 Followers 293 Following Child of God, Husband to @morganmilliken, father of three, Lead Pastor of Collective Church in Omaha
An Bo @BorgyTheOne
3 Followers 13 Following
Scott Daugherty @DaughertyS
73 Followers 193 Following Technology Sales Geek, Skier, Wakeboarder, Movie Fanatic, Brain Filled w/Trivial Knowledge of All Things 80s & 90s
Mandeep panesar @Mspmsp85
24 Followers 604 Following
Matthew Brannigan @mattbrannigan
214 Followers 2K Following Massive Hi-Fi and Home Cinema nut, comics, urban history, comedy, skeptic, archive TV. Forever Ealonian, all Religion is nonsense.
rob buckhout @robbuckhout
39 Followers 355 Following
A.Naugle @a_naugle28
32 Followers 93 Following
Jeff Beeuwsaert @jeff_beuw
24 Followers 34 Following Maintenance Technician. widower, Father and Grandfather.
_Pulstar_ @_Pulstar_
53 Followers 1K Following
Northern Knitter 🇨.. @FrozenKnitter
2K Followers 2K Following Navy Fella • Submarine Intel Officer Veteran 🇨🇦 🇺🇸 🇺🇦 📚 Support Ukraine: @Saveukraine @CynlandNS @Kartul_girl @U24_gov_ua @UkraineUKAid @all_4_ukraine
alec wilkins @alecwilkins1
16 Followers 207 Following
Bill Thompson @bthompson_bill
213 Followers 634 Following married to Laurie, dog lover, private practice surgical oncologist (NYH-Cornell, MSKCC, MD Anderson alum) Alabama athletics, NHL newbie, (Capitals)
Heather Dombrowski @heatherdski
93 Followers 879 Following
@dadjoketexts I had to remind my Grandson this was about baseball.
@dadjoketexts If I am Frank with you, will you be Ernest with me?
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