davidbsmith @davidbsmith

an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill. Jacksonville, FL Joined September 2008

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

2 years ago

Do people still play this? I don’t know, but 500 times seems significant. Here’s how average I am:

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

2 years ago

This father of the year fed his daughter steak and buc-ee’s beaver nuggets for dinner.

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

2 years ago

Ready or not, here federal prison comes. cnn.com/2023/04/26/pol…

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

What the hell kind of shape is a Bubba Burger anyway? Burger Engineer: “Should we make them round?” Bubba: “Are you some kind of idiot? Make them look like goofy ass arrowheads!”

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

And then @GovRonDeSantis decided to take a big nasty shit all over higher education.

Jeremy C. Young @jeremycyoung

3 years ago

And then @GovRonDeSantis decided to take a big nasty shit all over higher education.

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Wolf Entertainment @WolfEnt

3 years ago

"He was able to be himself without anyone seeing his flaws. But no matter how much fun he had, he always knew he would have to return to Earth one day." #SVU

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

Blew my streak on Wordle and my son traded a Gyrados for a Meowth without consulting me. Kiss my ass, Wednesday.

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

Stahl-Meyer hot dogs, why do you smell like fish? Is it because a pack of 8 is $1.87? Should I know better? Is this my fault?

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

1st and goal - run the damn ball in! #DENvsJAX

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

I now understand what my parents went through when I called them both “dude” for about 4 years straight. Having a 5-year old call you “bruh” every 30 seconds gets old incredibly quick.

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

I guess we’re giving a pass to guys under investigation for sex trafficking. What a dumb ass state we live in.

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

Not the thing I needed this morning : (

Lofi Girl @lofigirl

3 years ago

Not the thing I needed this morning : (

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Parenting is usually fun and rewarding - except for tonight. Tonight damaged my soul. Tonight took a few months off my life. The boy and I were caught in a vortex of rage. Do you know how stupid it is to argue with a tired, unreasonable 5 year old? Pretty damn stupid. Good night.

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

Started yesterday’s and forgot to finish it. The streak is over.

davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

Started yesterday’s and forgot to finish it. The streak is over. https://t.co/1HfNhKA2cc

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

Can someone who understands the situation tell me why bailing on the PGA isn’t a terribly stupid gamble?

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

#GOBOLTS

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

What a game! What a finish! #RAYSUP

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

3 years ago

An achievement 14 weeks and 2 days in the making. And now that I’ve bragged, I expect it to end almost immediately.

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davidbsmith @davidbsmith

4 years ago

As someone who enjoys flat soda, it feels like Nitro Pepsi was made for me. When I cracked open the can and cleaned up the 2oz that immediately bubbled over and spilled onto my pants, I was greeted by a smooth beverage with a pleasing finish. 4 out of 5 stars. Would buy again.