d vahn @foptart
Vegan, Dad, registered voter, tax payer, husband. Hell's gonna be a piece of cake. new york city transplant Joined June 2014-
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d vahn retweeted
I’m pretty sure Gwen Stefani smells like play doh and fish sticks.
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d vahn retweeted
Grammar isn’t everything but it shows your level of intelligence especially if you’re communicating through writing
d vahn retweeted
Nick Nolte is the human version of a cigarette butt
d vahn retweeted
Wish I was rich enough to believe that money can’t buy happiness.
The struggle feels overwhelming at times, but it often evolves rather than ends completely.
Came home to this. Everyone’s asleep. So many questions
d vahn retweeted
"Duct tape, Brian? You thought DUCT TAPE would stop me? I'm a little offended, I thought you had more respect for me than that."
ATTENTION FRIENDS. I HAVE RECEIVED FIVE DOLLARS FROM CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY IN EXCHANGE FOR POSTING THIS ADVERTISEMENT. GET YOUR OWN FIVE DOLLARS AT GETFIVEDOLLARS.COM #GOTFIVEDOLLARS
d vahn retweeted
My preferred pronouns are unholy/godforsaken.
d vahn retweeted
Her: I eat clean. Me: Yes, I also try not to spill my food.
d vahn retweeted
Sweat + lotion + humidity = a human slip-n-slide
d vahn retweeted
I'm so fucking tired of billionaires who don't pay taxes shitting on poor people.
d vahn retweeted
If you’re late because someone was pooping it’s called being turdy.
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