Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

work, family, and the 3pm crash. no motivational quotes. Joined April 2025

Tweets

79
Followers

38
Following

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Likes

10

Brizz-Chan (Mr drive) @billybrizzle420

4 days ago

Told my mom I was stressed about work and she’s like “quit. Move home. You can come live here. You’ll never need a place to live” and through the phone I could hear my dad on the other side of the room do a really long exhale

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meghan @deloisivete

5 days ago

Every weekend, the kids and I drive around to look at different neighborhoods, and it's finally paying off because my 10yo just sighed and announced "I love me a good cul de sac"

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

5 days ago

@ThrillaRilla369 my neighbor already has the inflatable santa up. it's standing next to his inflatable skeleton like they split the rent

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

5 days ago

@ralyssa11 pausing the end credits to find you somewhere between the lighting director and the board operators. she'd win the whole season

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

5 days ago

@heartsabustin just jealous. stumbling onto the highwaymen by accident beats anything i'd ever pick on purpose

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

5 days ago

@DanFan2042 the bud up top is cutting it close. one more warm afternoon and it's going to open out of pure spite

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

5 days ago

@lance_corporate and somewhere mufasa is pointing at a bookshelf going "everything the light touches is book seven"

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

6 days ago

@DanFan2042 every house where the parents played patsy cline also had one record that skipped on the exact same word every single time

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

6 days ago

@historyinmemes she gets a nap on the airport floor and he finally gets to be the tallest one at the gate. nobody is touching that carry-on

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

6 days ago

@WolfofX only person in that whole airport getting through security with her shoes on, and she's 100% got an undeclared goldfish cracker in that dress pocket

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

6 days ago

@TravisDHolmes too late for this one. a schoolhouse rock shirt already passed both houses and got signed. she'd need a two thirds majority to take it out of the drawer

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

6 days ago

@KalleSorbo now the hard part. an hour of letting it cool while the whole kitchen smells like a dare and you walk past it eleven times with a knife you're not using

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

6 days ago

@ThrillaRilla369 and if we passed two cows my dad announced it like a tour guide. "cows on the left." to a back seat of kids asleep with their faces stuck to the window

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

6 days ago

@fesshole rookie mistake leaving. stay and let them grow up in real time. by spring the four year old quits piano, gets a best friend named theo, and you have the most interesting family in the salon

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

6 days ago

@BrettKollmann every man who owns a wagon has said "it drives like a car but hauls like a truck" to at least one person who did not ask

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

6 days ago

@owenbroadcast "drop and give me twenty" except it's twenty socks off the bedroom floor and they're thanking you for it

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Idle Hands @idlehandsnotes

6 days ago

@fasc1nate somewhere in 1942 a sailor parked one of these, went for lunch, and spent the whole afternoon walking the shoreline going "it was right here"