🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

Heavily medicated... still a miserable bitch. Unapologetic atheist. Not pretty enough to be popular. Dogs = Life paypal.me/KatieBaconPants Maine, USA Joined April 2009

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

2 years ago

Life is a terminal illness.

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

2 years ago

What a beautiful way to start your day! #Maine #sunrise

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

2 years ago

Hey @CurtOlsonwx! We saw a rainbow before the sun was up this morning. Is that rare? (Taken at 6:15am. Officially, sunrise was 6:16 today.)

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

2 years ago

Only 2 punches left for my freebie!!! #MovieGallery #AlmostThere

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

2 years ago

Them: Drive like your kids live here. Me: My kids would know not to be in the fucking road. *steps on accelerator* #NotSorry

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

2 years ago

#TedLasso is over, and I feel like I'll never be happy again.

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

2 years ago

#TedLasso is done, and I'm sadder than I can express in words. What a remarkably beautiful story. Very possibly my favorite show of all time. ⚽️💚🇬🇧

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

2 years ago

Lack of sexual and physical attention has simultaneously caused regrowth of my hymen and disintegration of my frontal lobe. I feel like a sociopathic tween.

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

2 years ago

Happy birthday to my baby girl, Niblet! She's officially a teenager today!!! Thanks @McDonalds, she loved her cheeseburger cake! #dogsoftwitter #dogs #birthdaygirl #McDonalds

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

3 years ago

It seems like hypothermia would be quite a peaceful way to die...

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

3 years ago

For the record: Taking one's dog away IS a perfectly good reason to bludgeon somebody into a coma. #Leatherface #dogs #truth #ThatsWhatYouGet

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

3 years ago

Is calling a group of #Black birds a "murder" an example of systemic #racism?

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

3 years ago

Every time I see an ad for St Jude:

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Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman

3 years ago

Precisely!

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

3 years ago

I'm not bipolar. Just a psychotic bitch.

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🕳 @lumpy_speedbump

3 years ago

Thinking about gaining 400 pounds so I can get my own show on TLC.

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Dr. Oz said he wants to ban abortion even in the cases of rape or incest Let's be very clear: Women's reproductive freedom is non-negotiable for me. He should listen to these doctors on the frontlines providing abortion care in PA 👇 inquirer.com/news/a/abortio…