ššššš š¤øš¼āāļø @notjoobs
typo queen In Cahoots Joined November 2020-
Tweets34K
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Followers4K
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Following3K
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Likes86K
You ever look at pictures of your dog when they were a baby and cry because you know theyāre not going to be here forever and theyāre your best Buddy and you wish you could slow time down?
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We found a cool track adventuring tonight!
Still canāt believe Ron Artest changed his name to Meta World Peace.
Will Young Ryan ever be referred to Middle Aged Ryan or will he always be Young Ryan?
I need a chicken Caesar wrap like I need air to breathe.
ššššš š¤øš¼āāļø retweeted
@notjoobs Donāt believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free
ššššš š¤øš¼āāļø retweeted
iām doing intermittent bitching where i only bitch between the hours of 12 PM & 8 PM
I honestly had no idea you had to sign up for running events. I thought you showed up, signed in, and ran.
ššššš š¤øš¼āāļø retweeted
I could listen to my wife talk aimlessly for the rest of eternity, until the sun burns itself out, until the heavens fall from the sky, and not even notice a minute had passed
I could listen to my wife talk aimlessly for the rest of eternity, until the sun burns itself out, until the heavens fall from the sky, and not even notice a minute had passed
ššššš š¤øš¼āāļø retweeted
ššššš š¤øš¼āāļø retweeted
me when someone convinces me to wear something that isn't black
ššššš š¤øš¼āāļø retweeted
Iām visiting the Lawrence Public Library and found what is possibly the strongest opener for any book ever
To Do: Cry in the bathroom about feeling overwhelmed with everything ā
ššššš š¤øš¼āāļø retweeted
Is there anything as lovely as rotting in bed!?!
ššššš š¤øš¼āāļø retweeted
Sultans of Swing debut, Dire Straits #umphreys #umbowlx #direstraits
Day completely made š„°. Thanks, sis @SeeSilverLaugh! Love you! Before: After:
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Irrelevant @AntiFunkybass13
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Skip1972 @skip_skip1972
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Denny Ponds @DennisPonos
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Sensible Reason @SensibleReason
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Melissa Huffman @melissahuffman
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PDX_DEAD @PDX_DEAD
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@notjoobs Get out of my head! š¤£
@notjoobs No but my allergies act up a lot when I do it
I would have thought it's falling over in an ice skating rink, and someone skating over your outstretched fingers cutting them all clean off.
Every womanās biggest nightmare is late marriage.
How do people do 9-5s man. I love going to the grocery store at 1pm on a Monday empty aisles just me and the retirees
big things happening this summer: my 10th bisco show š„¹
Normalize not forcing your importance in someone's life. Let people do what they want so you can see what they'd rather do. If someone doesn't see the value in having you by their side, donāt try to convince them.
super cute šš
It was an honor to give President Trump my latest artwork of our beautiful first lady Melania, and I hope it brings him as much joy on his bedroom walls as it did ours!
Got a rejection email from the position I really wanted. 2 months after applying. I sent a follow up email to the recruiter. 3 minutes later my phone rings with nothing but apologies for the lack of communication. And to reach out next application I submit to be pulled asap
Wingstop guy asked me how my day was and when I said it was not great he smacked his hands together and said ānah son, I got youā hold upā and tripled the wings in my order youāre right Wingstop guy, you do got me š«”
I listened to Jack Johnson today. It was delightfully nostalgic. Thats it. Thatās the tweet.
So my wife had to tell people on the plane that they were in our seats. Our seats. Assigned to us. By row and letter. Turns out she was three rows back. This shouldnāt be hard, people.
@notjoobs He also used to drink Hennessy at halftime. MWP seems like a logical next step.
@adexnelsonx Himself. He loves himself the most
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