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Tweets4K
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Followers362
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Following391
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Likes10K
evan retweeted
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's haunted nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted
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evan retweeted
*criv, quietly, to himself* bless you giacomo
evan retweeted
IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
Happy 4/20 I just ran parent-teacher conferences with laryngitis and a fucking kidney stone
evan retweeted
my neighbour ryan: I was at a zombie walk we all dressup and walk around downtown me holding an axe: I wanna believe you ryan I really do
evan retweeted
I’ve decided to be the bigger person and forgive my loans even if the government won’t
evan retweeted
[being chased by killer] ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*
evan retweeted
*shipwrecked diary* Day 1: alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab Day 2: I have married the crab. Day 3: I have eaten my wife.
evan retweeted
*watching James Blunt mouth "not you" to me after singing You're Beautiful in concert*
evan retweeted
Please state your name for the court *leans in* Nicey Goodlady Occupation? *leans right in breathing heavily on the mic* eat hamburgers
evan retweeted
[INT. STARBUCKS - DAY] Me: Theres a large rat in the bathroom Barista: ? Me: A large rat Barista: ? Me: THERES A VENTI RAT IN THE BATHROOM
evan retweeted
We're a modest company with modest goals: 1: sell a quality product at a fair price 2: drain the world's oceans so we can find and kill god
evan retweeted
me: [lighting fireworks] are you ready uber driver: for what
Wild bee: just getting snack Me: no prob bee Mason bee: just make house Me: build a way b Honey bee:jus sampling the lavenders Me: you know I got an assortment Bumble bee: hey *bonk* I jus *bonk* I h Me: *holds flower still* Wasp: I'LL SEE U IN HELL Me: U TELL THEM WHO SENT U
I have so much loyalty to my principal, my administrators, my students, and my fellow teachers, but these days it feels like @ChiPubSchools is run by literal supervillains
jerome @ethanrunburg
729 Followers 669 Following ACTOR—ISU alum. “Mick” in Euphoria Season 2. He/Him/His
Lilhouse Van Houten @flannelGoddess
1K Followers 2K Following she/her // Os Fan, White Sox fan (formerly), knuckleball enthusiast // @SouthSideSox @allsportsscene @willetspen // all tweets mine // acab // Free 🇵🇸
jamie @jpricehomeslice
452 Followers 737 Following we’re all just stumbling through life trying to master the divine dance of the universe so just play it cool & kiss the chaos • she/her
hometown dangler @HPtothaizzo
231 Followers 591 Following "You look like someone who knows a lot about anime." -some 8 year old's impression of me. she/her.
Joey Dwyer @JFosterDwyer
342 Followers 400 Following “You can take the boy out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the boy” @ethanrunburg
Coordinator Pip - Ill.. @Coordinator_Pip
238 Followers 401 Following Esports Coordinator @IITesports - Bronzeville Esports - @RedbirdGamingIL & @Redbird_Esports Alum - B.S. Gen Bio 20’ & M.S. Rec Admin @IllinoisStateU
kellz 🌿 @kmohlx
333 Followers 412 Following still an emo kid at heart. she/her. trying to be a better human than I was yesterday. 🌻
Some Piece of Garbage @sanchez61295
320 Followers 260 Following I make tik toks and have generally bad opinions on most things
cam 🫧 @c_a_m_r_o_n_c
6K Followers 1K Following Just here to share my unsolicited / unpopular opinion. Fine line tattoo artist. he/him 🏳️🌈
Matt @Xenonflare98
314 Followers 815 Following Stage Hand / Audio / Sound Designer / Musician / Bachelors of Music & Sound Design / 25
Sitati @Sitati1444084
0 Followers 142 Following
Erik Chance @SpinoSuchus
38 Followers 83 Following
NolanaloN @TheOnlyNolan1
62 Followers 153 Following Russell Branyan is the best hitter to ever live. Tired White Sox fan
brando @tezzzeta
170 Followers 264 Following Even in space they got spaceships | Brandon, 27, they/them
Brian Watkins @btwatkins
103 Followers 397 Following Husband, Father, Son, Brother, and all around busy dude. Opinions are mine, and most likely correct - so if you disagree, you know what that means.
Lucy 🇵🇸 🏳️.. @LucyLoraine
592 Followers 3K Following Ugly munchkin girl who occasionally likes making music and writing. Veteran GURPS and Pathfinder GM (DMs open to people who like those things). I'm also trans.
Montrell Wallims @MWallims
0 Followers 5 Following
isufoodie @isufoodie
22 Followers 255 Following Here to fill you in on all the delicious food and new openings in blono!
🆂🅾🅿🅷🅸�.. @Sophia_42339
28 Followers 1K Following I like being nasty!Follow me, and I´ll send you my favorite photos! 💋👗😋
robert pattinsons cro.. @kei_muhri
109 Followers 411 Following long legged socialist / my spirit animal is a mosquito / 💎n👁/ walmart actor/ the black fran drescher
Kangaroo Jake @KangarooJackoff
3K Followers 4K Following Had a good scooby doo tweet once https://t.co/0WeJUIbJJt
Babe You Gotta See Th.. @BYGSTpod
10 Followers 51 Following Join Liv and Kurt as they force each other to watch their favorite shows and movies
Michelle Cervantes @Micki_floren
187 Followers 658 Following 22, ISU Alumni, Music Teacher at Freedom Middle School.
Robert @SpaceGangsta_93
179 Followers 703 Following Chorus Member at St. Louis Symphony Orchestra @slso | PlayStation Trophy Hunter | PSN: SpaceGangsta_93 | he/him/his | OAS AAS LLS
JOHN WEBB @ChrisFieldin
3 Followers 30 Following
Taylor @taylorsle1419
104 Followers 163 Following make every moment count because you never know what the next will bring 🦋✨
ALLY WALLY 🍳 @a1th3pa1
575 Followers 370 Following I have never said anything controversial about anybody
WilELangLang @WillieLangLang2
144 Followers 855 Following Never B a follower always say what you mean, being solo & right is better then being popular & wrong. Streaming on @Twitch & @YouTube at #johnmerced32 Join Me!
j ❤️🔥 @jeantrifier
585 Followers 708 Following
Hoanghansabi @Hoanghansabi
385 Followers 953 Following
Mark Nabors @MorkNabork
17 Followers 40 Following Engineer, Musician, Actor, Writer, Comedian... How much time ya got?
Prez of the @chemslutclub
114 Followers 419 Following I have one motto in my life, and that’s ABE (Always Be Eatin’) Lover of learning, horror, and food
evan 🏴 @evRahe
255 Followers 262 Following Your heart is a muscle the size of your fist. Keep on loving. Keep on fighting.
𝚛 🐉 @rvnxth
262 Followers 186 Following
weronika @wera_wiechec
155 Followers 123 Following
Jupiter | Quinn Giffo.. @quinnisjupiter
159 Followers 570 Following 20 | I never learned how to read | With the Science Team | He/They | IWU ‘25 Psych/Data Science | Free Palestine | Liker of erm
em✨ @EmmaaLouuise
457 Followers 416 Following
Jess @jess_blanchard9
105 Followers 276 Following
jerome @ethanrunburg
729 Followers 669 Following ACTOR—ISU alum. “Mick” in Euphoria Season 2. He/Him/His
Lilhouse Van Houten @flannelGoddess
1K Followers 2K Following she/her // Os Fan, White Sox fan (formerly), knuckleball enthusiast // @SouthSideSox @allsportsscene @willetspen // all tweets mine // acab // Free 🇵🇸
jamie @jpricehomeslice
452 Followers 737 Following we’re all just stumbling through life trying to master the divine dance of the universe so just play it cool & kiss the chaos • she/her
Park(er) the Car(bine.. @doctorcarbine
273 Followers 469 Following annoying gay annoying hairy annoying friendly and annoying and bi and also a real tough kind of dude
hometown dangler @HPtothaizzo
231 Followers 591 Following "You look like someone who knows a lot about anime." -some 8 year old's impression of me. she/her.
Joey Dwyer @JFosterDwyer
342 Followers 400 Following “You can take the boy out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the boy” @ethanrunburg
Coordinator Pip - Ill.. @Coordinator_Pip
238 Followers 401 Following Esports Coordinator @IITesports - Bronzeville Esports - @RedbirdGamingIL & @Redbird_Esports Alum - B.S. Gen Bio 20’ & M.S. Rec Admin @IllinoisStateU
Some Piece of Garbage @sanchez61295
320 Followers 260 Following I make tik toks and have generally bad opinions on most things
cam 🫧 @c_a_m_r_o_n_c
6K Followers 1K Following Just here to share my unsolicited / unpopular opinion. Fine line tattoo artist. he/him 🏳️🌈
depths of wikipedia! @depthsofwiki
889K Followers 4K Following Hello I am @anniierau Please take away my blue check! I did not ask for it!
NolanaloN @TheOnlyNolan1
62 Followers 153 Following Russell Branyan is the best hitter to ever live. Tired White Sox fan
Threatening Music Not.. @ThreatNotation
362K Followers 12 Following Cataloguing threatening music notation. DM submissions welcome—please include source whenever possible.
payton mitchell @paytmitch
34K Followers 625 Following social media manager, newsletter editor, fan of things
Word Of The Day @Real_WOTD
15K Followers 2 Following the only place to find the official word of the day
out of context commun.. @darkestimeline
278K Followers 17 Following Welcome to Greendale, you’re already accepted. || @communityreacs
demon rumor queen ⚡.. @notemmachez
247 Followers 216 Following former small child. current small adult. forever sharing my own & original opinions on twitter dot com
robert pattinsons cro.. @kei_muhri
109 Followers 411 Following long legged socialist / my spirit animal is a mosquito / 💎n👁/ walmart actor/ the black fran drescher
ellewasamistake @ellewasamistake
32K Followers 556 Following host of the tonight show with jimmy fallon
phil @PhilJamesson
84K Followers 985 Following my job is writing funny things for cool stuff | comedy for @DibsNext, @adultswim, @nerial, @dropout | mgmt: [email protected]
Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris
19.8M Followers 720 Following Fighting for the people. Wife, Momala, Auntie. She/her. Official account is @VP.
Brent @murrman55
166 Followers 27 Following
Joe Biden @JoeBiden
38.0M Followers 46 Following Husband to @DrBiden, proud father and grandfather. Ready to finish the job for all Americans. Official account is @POTUS.
Kurty Kurt Kurt @queerprivateer
76 Followers 303 Following The Old Ones were, The Old Ones are, and The Old Ones shall be
Babe You Gotta See Th.. @BYGSTpod
10 Followers 51 Following Join Liv and Kurt as they force each other to watch their favorite shows and movies
Michelle Cervantes @Micki_floren
187 Followers 658 Following 22, ISU Alumni, Music Teacher at Freedom Middle School.
Robert @SpaceGangsta_93
179 Followers 703 Following Chorus Member at St. Louis Symphony Orchestra @slso | PlayStation Trophy Hunter | PSN: SpaceGangsta_93 | he/him/his | OAS AAS LLS
Nerine 🐺 ネリネ.. @NERINES00
25K Followers 411 Following I'm not a gray wolf I'm just old https://t.co/fScls8Qk8Z ファンアート/art tag : #ArtWoo LIVE 2D: @omochigomee icon: @FranVanWulfen | header: @AtelierAria
Taylor @taylorsle1419
104 Followers 163 Following make every moment count because you never know what the next will bring 🦋✨
72kilos @72kilos
425K Followers 34 Following Ilustro ideas. Peso 72kilos. Más cosas de mí, aquí: https://t.co/jU9v5PFjMI
hermes🧇 @AmHermesGod
7K Followers 776 Following HELLO! You can call me Hermes :D - He/Him - Best friends with @womenlovinsadie - 19
ALLY WALLY 🍳 @a1th3pa1
575 Followers 370 Following I have never said anything controversial about anybody
The Last Blockbuster @loneblockbuster
408K Followers 0 Following Located between 3rd and Main in the Oak Lawn Shopping Center! Not part of Blockbuster Corporate. We're all on our own. Commentary.
Chicago Teachers Unio.. @CTULocal1
72K Followers 6K Following AFT-IFT Local 1. 25,000+ educators dedicated to the schools Chicago students deserve. Living rent-free in education reform minds since 2010. RT ≠ endorsement.
Macks @MJ_babs
517 Followers 1K Following Get 50% off your next Doordash order at: https://t.co/9yR1Rt2Wtq mail/man
Nathan J Robinson @NathanJRobinson
103K Followers 2K Following Editor of @CurAffairs, former political columnist for the @guardian https://t.co/iZCETLLOox
Dael Kingsmill @DailyDael
18K Followers 996 Following Built a YouTube channel from spite and accidentally made it work.
@ lindsayellis.bsky.s.. @thelindsayellis
288K Followers 623 Following Account for author and ex-youtuber, Lindsay Ellis, run by @elisaintime unless otherwise specified - repped by Christopher at https://t.co/HGdYoAELiO
the council of evil l.. @obiwormkenobi
2K Followers 1K Following elle/ari. 33. they/them. 🕎🏳️🌈🏳⚧. anti-zionist 🇵🇸. personal. horror. comics. star trek. https://t.co/2iiQ4FHIhQ
Justin Lindsay @JustinL80019524
5K Followers 4K Following I started this account once my post outing racists went viral. I want to continue exposing hate wherever I find it. #Socialist #Antifa #BLM No DM's
SheRatesDogs @SheRatesDogs
637K Followers 20 Following the dogs are your exes/someone’s exes - submit to DMs! ~sometimes funny sometimes heinous~ @michaelaokla
BLMChicago @BLMChi
60K Followers 1K Following Formed from Ferguson Freedom Rides, we work to end the brutality of the most dangerous gang in Chicago, CPD. We work for a better city for Black folks
ladies who’s the most terrifying person you know and why is it your boyfriend from 2019
only real glizzy mcguire fans remember when i was sexting a guy and, mid sesh, tweeted “love abortion love divorce pop my pills and ride my horse” and was caught red handed by the sextee himself who accused me of being “fucked in the head” and “a real cunt”
he’s just like me fr (didn’t do his taxes)
i am not ALLOWED to eat it with the skin! I am not allowed!
mom, can you come pick me up? my friends are doing a bad bit
And do what?
@Chris_Meloni Chris please come to my wedding
sad about Twitter where else am I going to be intolerable?
hey @bibbymoynihan what’s up are you busy on December 1st? it’s my grandpas funeral and my little sister rlly wants to know if ur free
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