Wes Kao 🏛 @wes_kao
Co-founder @MavenHQ (a16z, First Round). Co-founder of Seth Godin’s altMBA. Honest insights on how to become a sharper marketer, founder, and operator in tech weskao.com/newsletter Get my free newsletter👇 Joined April 2010-
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Here's my new podcast episode with @wes_kao (co-founder Maven) on how to: - Stand out with a spiky point of view - Find your niche with inside-out + outside-in - Give engaging talks using state changes ...and more. 📌 Watch the full episode right here: youtu.be/1Tnsijy5km0
A spiky point of view is an unique perspective that others may disagree with. I return to this concept from @wes_kao often. It's a great way to stand out in our noisy world. Wes walks through how you can build your spiky point of view in my new episode tomorrow with examples.…
The inaugural Second Brain Summit is coming to LA in October 2024! Learn the skills they never taught you in school... From your favorite creators in productivity, creativity, and personal knowledge management
BIG NEWS: Today, Maven is launching "Build with AI”: a modern AI curriculum taught by experts from GitHub, OpenAI, Google, and Hugging Face. We spent months interviewing AI leaders to decide who and what to include. The focus was on engineering, data, and product because those…
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@codyplof Ooo now we’re talking! My go-to’s are: > The Culture Code—Daniel Coyle > Managing to Learn—John Shook > Trillion Dollar Coach (about Bill Campbell) > No Rules, Rules—Reed Hastings > Making of a Manager—@joulee > All of @patricklencioni’s material > @wes_kao’s feed is amazing
@wes_kao Great topic to unpack - something on my mind when it comes to this complex relationship is when the direct report may be stronger in the technical subject matter than the manager. This could appear to tip the power dynamics if not approached properly by the manager.
@wes_kao Effective management of that power dynamic requires managing others in way that results in both parties feeling they belong, r safe & have dignity which is influenced by the mgr’s skill in creating co-regulation w their DRs. Having these 3 elements creates relationship fluidity.
@wes_kao The mid-50s manager + the mid-20s “all star / high potential” report has some especially tricky dynamics. Jealousy and resentment manifesting as passive aggressive communication and defensiveness is something I see a lot.
@wes_kao Spend some time thinking about what happens when either the employee or the manager is in parent/child mode. When I began thinking of myself as a peer adult with responsibilities that were simply different from my manager’s, the dynamic changed and work got easier.
@wes_kao Wow when you put it that way it does sound kind of strange
@wes_kao Wes you always thinking about the right things. I think the start of the relationship is the hardest because the manager how best to manage the tone when giving feedback and the report has to learn how best to take feedback. It gets easier with time or it falls apart.
@wes_kao And the dynamic is different when there’s a different level of managerial fluency on both sides. For example, I was a trained life coach bringing that skill to my directs. Working for a manager that had zero EQ and who was a real blocker for any growth.
@wes_kao Yes! I’ve thought about this a lot as well and tried a variety of approaches.
@wes_kao Thank you for bringing this up Wes. I've spent the first few years of my career thinking my manager supported me and would stick up for me if needed. What ended up happening was they would save themselves first. Tough lesson, but valuable.
@wes_kao Adult/child has similarities. Support and also discipline. Not exactly firing but being grounded comes close for a teen. Parenting tips can work at work too. :-)
@wes_kao I’m so appreciative of this post! I set out to write a blog post with examples from my own experiences for this, but somehow never gathered the courage. I like how you write at an abstraction that makes it observational than experiential; added benefit of making it objective.
@wes_kao Great topic! Given many different personalities and the nature of dynamic relationships, once you think you’ve figured it out, it changes. It gets easier when one party leaves their role, but sometimes there are still implicit power dynamics at play.
@wes_kao Hi Wes! I love that you’re thinking about this and the questions/explorations here. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately! The ways in which the power dynamics/authority are created, what’s implicit vs explicit, and how critically important it is to have managers that are…
@wes_kao Love your reflection, Wes. If leaders want organizations filled with transparent truth telling and trust, they need to be aware of the power dynamic combined with their choices (reactions to when their power, decisions, or safety is challenged) compromise what they say they…
@wes_kao Very valid observations. I am surprised most firm have not implemented some form of providing upward feedback. Given the complexity of this relationship it can’t always be shared directly.
@wes_kao Great insight into a tricky dynamic! It's definitely a relationship that requires more openness and strategic thinking than we often realize.
@wes_kao Great insights!! I think somewhere in this analysis you have to investigate & discuss incentives - in direct compensation but also promotions. Of course other aspects of the org culture impact the dynamic but incentives will play a big part.
@wes_kao People also project their family of origin parent-child dynamic and traumas onto the manager-direct report relationship. It is very complicated to have someone be in charge of your livelihood, and need to please them and get approval. We don't talk enough about how to build…
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