Andy White - Comedian (He/Him) @AndyJWhite
I'm a stand up comedian. I pull funny faces and do silly voices. If one of my tweets amuses you, feel free to RT. Birmingham, UK Joined April 2009-
Tweets11K
-
Followers3K
-
Following1K
-
Likes990
I hope those horses were ULEZ compliant.
“The only intelligent tactical response to life’s horror is to have some fruity malt loaf.” Soreen Kierkegaard (probably).
If you put Shakespeare in a room with a typewriter for an infinite amount of time, he’d eventually come up with the complete works of the Monkees
Happy 'Is it racist?' day! #StGeorgesDay
A belter of a night @LaughingChiliUK Laughs at the Lit led brilliantly by MC @AndyJWhite with three superb acts - bravo @LinzSantoro for laying down some female truths, @MaxFulham for getting his puppet to pull and man alive @comedylopez just superb 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Liz Truss: I farted so hard it blew my handbag away.
Comedy on 20th April at the Lit in Egham. Cracking line-up planned, so join us for great night of fun & laughter. Tix from laughingchili.co.uk @ComedyRTGrp @whatsoninsurrey @egham @eghamMuseum #comedynight #lotsoflaughs #gottleofgeer
St Peter: Of course you can come in, Mr Simpson. As soon as you find those "real killers".
Been sorting out my sock drawer. I now have several pairs of Easter socks. They're my Christmas socks, but with extra holes.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you for having me.
Did you hear about the rowers in the boat race? They got motion sickness.
I don't call it death. I prefer 'ultimate staycation'.
Last few tickets available..
One hour less in bed. Jesus must feel like death warmed up.
I'm bringing my new show to @BathComedyFest next month (14/4) and am really loving how it's shaping up! Grab a ticket here: bathcomedy.com/whats-on?id=16… Or find future dates in Machynlleth, Chesham, Hastings, Bristol, Barnard Castle & Hexham here: linktr.ee/standupandrew
I asked the lady in the bridal shop if she would move my penis to the right. Apparently that's not what they mean by dress alterations.
Fri 5th April at #Stockport’s Garrick Theatre. @magicbaldy @annarosethomas #TadiwaMahlunge @AndyJWhite Tickets➡️ wegottickets.com/OTBStockport #theheatons #edgely #woodley #offerton #bramhall #poynton #levenshulme #macclesfield #didsbury #cheadle #hazelgrove #reddish #congleton
Rishi Sunak shouldn't complain about the new England kit. If we weren't prepared to change the colour of things, he wouldn't be Prime Minister.
My alma mater is Lampeter, a town so obscure I reckon it's the current location of Princess Kate. And right now she's riding Shergar.
Josh Pugh @JoshPughComic
88K Followers 853 Following Fancy Dan.On Tour 2024 tickets on the website. Enquiries to [email protected] - https://t.co/LrVPjYAxzV 📸 @amybrammall
Craig Deeley 🇪🇺.. @craiguito
21K Followers 7K Following I do stand-up and tweet silly things. My podcast Trish of the Day out now, link below.
Gary Delaney-next tou.. @GaryDelaney
114K Followers 2K Following One-liner comic. New tour Gary in Punderland on sale. Joke book 'Pundamentalist' out too. Jokes tweeted aren’t in the live shows. First 2 tours now on YouTube.
Sooz Kempner @SoozUK
107K Followers 6K Following "Comedian". DOOM in @bbcdoctorwho. Host @mysteryontherox @thequeenpod. Act: @ryanioscoholmes Comedy: @gag_reflex VO: @TheJonesesVoice she/her
Jonathan Pie @JonathanPieNews
553K Followers 2K Following Jonathan Pie is a news reporter https://t.co/0AQ0lNiSvD… WEBSITE: https://t.co/ete9uc4BML Enquiries to [email protected]
Mark Nelson @marknelsoncomic
19K Followers 2K Following Stand up named Comedian’s Comedian Of The Year 2021. A man's got to know his limitations. All tickets for live shows - https://t.co/hqhxIJ6QaC
Mick Ferry @MickFerry
13K Followers 1K Following https://t.co/IHcOytK2yL also if you can spare anything https://t.co/WJ7sBjyxNv also https://t.co/sw0y3lyDEz
Jason Manford @JasonManford
459K Followers 3K Following Brand new stand up tour ' A Manford all Seasons' ON SALE NOW Tickets: https://t.co/rzw0lnEppm
Alasdair Beckett-King @MisterABK
109K Followers 4K Following Award-winning poltergeist and comedian | UK Tour: https://t.co/xRmZ1HMrIf | Books: https://t.co/7LYG9aR1sa | Pronouns like a butler coughing: he/him
Hayley Ellis @Hayles_Ellis
9K Followers 988 Following If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you probably shouldn’t be a doorman at a Wetherspoons. Come see my new tour show 👇
joe heenan @joeheenan
67K Followers 3K Following Award losing stand up comedian. Co host of Stu & Joe's Big Dumb Film Show. Subscribe here https://t.co/Ts0zTiHNI9
mrs barbara nice @BarbaraNice
10K Followers 1K Following Livin La Vida Loca spotlight link https://t.co/r38E6pGPWU
Laura Lexx @lauralexx
51K Followers 1K Following Rep'd by Taylor at UTC Artist Management - [email protected] Klopp Actually & Pivot available to buy EVERYWHERE
Scott Bennett - “Gr.. @scottbcomedyuk
8K Followers 4K Following Comic / Writer / Live at the Apollo / News Quiz / Podcast @BWTBpod / Lockdown show @standupinashed Tours / Gigs / Merch 👉 https://t.co/rMxOhULlm9
Tony Cowards @TonyCowards
20K Followers 8K Following Sony Award winning writer, stand up and Ipswich fan living in Northumberland. Expect a mixture of jokes and pictures of painted WW2 models.
Sarah Millican @SarahMillican75
2.1M Followers 4K Following ON TOUR NOW. New Special via https://t.co/0BsgzGzZL8 Comedian, Standard Issue pod, Feminist. Tweets ending TEAMSM/TSM are by my team.Agent: Chambers
Justin Moorhouse @justinmoorhouse
76K Followers 4K Following Comedian then Dog Walker then Parent. Undercover Vegan. Podcaster @3045podcast @rfipod #nopromises #benice Artwork by @stan_chow
Rich Wilson @IamRichWilson
7K Followers 3K Following Award nominated and award winning podcast: Insane In The Men Brain 🧠 Sign up to my patreonhttp://patreon.com/menbrainpodcast0
Gabrielle Klonowski @GabrielleK11271
75 Followers 5K Following
Keeley Riofrio @riofr_keel
62 Followers 5K Following
Micki Brenagh @MBrenagh23019
73 Followers 5K Following
Alexandra Turnball @AlexandraT72805
85 Followers 5K Following
TheLastLaughPlay @LastLaughPlay
41 Followers 217 Following A brand new play by Paul Hendy. Eric Morecambe Centre (26-27 JUL) Assembly Studio One (31 JUL - 25 AUG)
Nida Allenbrand @Allenbrand66298
94 Followers 5K Following
Soledad Kluz @KluzSoleda60119
85 Followers 5K Following
SonMayne @SonMayne94153
38 Followers 643 Following
Paul Lafferty @mrlaffers
11 Followers 39 Following
Malia Houghtelling @MHoughtell39002
92 Followers 5K Following
Justice Abeyta @AbeyJusti
75 Followers 5K Following
Denese Bundette @bundette18902
85 Followers 5K Following
Roland Walker @roland31500
30 Followers 2K Following
Brigitte Yetzer @yetz_brigit
78 Followers 5K Following
Jordan @jhandford11
2K Followers 2K Following Work~Act~Direct~Comedy Promoter ‘Laffalot Promotions’ ~ Trustee for @EdgarsGift supporting young adults with cancer ~LCFC 🦊 ~ #BoltUp 🏈
Raina Detone @ra_deto
83 Followers 5K Following
Bunny Schouten @schout_bu
60 Followers 5K Following
Selina Cusher @SeliCusher
47 Followers 5K Following
liam gosling @liamgosling10
0 Followers 12 Following
Nate Armbruster @natecomedy
3K Followers 2K Following I like to write jokes. And tell those jokes to audiences in the form of stand-up comedy.
Ruth Mcdoulett @r_mcdoule
82 Followers 5K Following
Astra Ossenfort @a_ossenf
13 Followers 3K Following
Camille Munselle @cami_munsel
37 Followers 5K Following
Livi Parsens @parse_liv
71 Followers 5K Following
Disko Comedy @DiskoComedy
310 Followers 665 Following Search Engine spotlighting #Comedians and #Comedy content | Part of @WatchDisko
Eunice Gormont @eunice6696
67 Followers 5K Following
Reva Girardeau @GirardeauR35806
57 Followers 5K Following
Eleyna Girand @girand6031
76 Followers 5K Following
Bernita Freeders @FreedBerni
50 Followers 5K Following
Gavin Wells @GavinWells96725
113 Followers 1K Following
sinhaha @paulybengali
7K Followers 695 Following Comedian Chaser Gay NHS botherer. Enquiries [email protected]
Alina Uyetake @uyeta_ali
76 Followers 5K Following
Jerry’s Humor @jerryshumor
117 Followers 1K Following Tickling myself while I chew gum & stumble thru my befuddlement, all on the head of a very unstable pin of buffoonery! #jerryshumor #humor #humorinmylife #jokes
Zofia Mcconico @ZoMccon
44 Followers 5K Following
The Boy With The Duck.. @DuckmanAndy
0 Followers 67 Following
Viola @violaquezada75
156 Followers 3K Following
Hanspeter Kuenzler @HPKuenzler
668 Followers 330 Following
Peter Full @peterfullauthor
3 Followers 257 Following I've just published; https://t.co/SD3OTl2LIW ... It's not very good, and I wouldn't buy it. Your choice of course.
Shisason @Shisason165705
10 Followers 1K Following
Mikki Jabs @JabsMi
42 Followers 5K Following
Joe Lycett @joelycett
1.4M Followers 1 Following I am the comedian formerly known as Hugo Boss. Pre-order Joe Lycett’s Art Hole now
Josh Pugh @JoshPughComic
88K Followers 853 Following Fancy Dan.On Tour 2024 tickets on the website. Enquiries to [email protected] - https://t.co/LrVPjYAxzV 📸 @amybrammall
Craig Deeley 🇪🇺.. @craiguito
21K Followers 7K Following I do stand-up and tweet silly things. My podcast Trish of the Day out now, link below.
Gary Delaney-next tou.. @GaryDelaney
114K Followers 2K Following One-liner comic. New tour Gary in Punderland on sale. Joke book 'Pundamentalist' out too. Jokes tweeted aren’t in the live shows. First 2 tours now on YouTube.
Kath 💙🙀🇪🇺.. @KathyBurke
553K Followers 175 Following Burkey with the good hair. My woke take brings all the c*n*s to the yard. pic by Nancy fancy pants. work enquires: [email protected]
Sooz Kempner @SoozUK
107K Followers 6K Following "Comedian". DOOM in @bbcdoctorwho. Host @mysteryontherox @thequeenpod. Act: @ryanioscoholmes Comedy: @gag_reflex VO: @TheJonesesVoice she/her
Jonathan Pie @JonathanPieNews
553K Followers 2K Following Jonathan Pie is a news reporter https://t.co/0AQ0lNiSvD… WEBSITE: https://t.co/ete9uc4BML Enquiries to [email protected]
Mark Nelson @marknelsoncomic
19K Followers 2K Following Stand up named Comedian’s Comedian Of The Year 2021. A man's got to know his limitations. All tickets for live shows - https://t.co/hqhxIJ6QaC
Mick Ferry @MickFerry
13K Followers 1K Following https://t.co/IHcOytK2yL also if you can spare anything https://t.co/WJ7sBjyxNv also https://t.co/sw0y3lyDEz
Jason Manford @JasonManford
459K Followers 3K Following Brand new stand up tour ' A Manford all Seasons' ON SALE NOW Tickets: https://t.co/rzw0lnEppm
Alasdair Beckett-King @MisterABK
109K Followers 4K Following Award-winning poltergeist and comedian | UK Tour: https://t.co/xRmZ1HMrIf | Books: https://t.co/7LYG9aR1sa | Pronouns like a butler coughing: he/him
Hayley Ellis @Hayles_Ellis
9K Followers 988 Following If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you probably shouldn’t be a doorman at a Wetherspoons. Come see my new tour show 👇
Olaf Falafel @OFalafel
78K Followers 1K Following Funniest Joke Edinburgh Fringe 2019-2022. Comedian, kids book author, illustrator, Art person. #LTFC Bum-faced snail badges here: https://t.co/Z2wz0N3D2h
Mark Steel @mrmarksteel
241K Followers 81 Following I love Twitter because everyone's always polite and no one ever takes anything you say literally, never.
Omid Djalili @omid9
360K Followers 4K Following Pinned tweet stays up until June 18th. NEW TOUR CANADA, AUSTRALIA, USA and UK details on website ⬇️
joe heenan @joeheenan
67K Followers 3K Following Award losing stand up comedian. Co host of Stu & Joe's Big Dumb Film Show. Subscribe here https://t.co/Ts0zTiHNI9
mrs barbara nice @BarbaraNice
10K Followers 1K Following Livin La Vida Loca spotlight link https://t.co/r38E6pGPWU
Laura Lexx @lauralexx
51K Followers 1K Following Rep'd by Taylor at UTC Artist Management - [email protected] Klopp Actually & Pivot available to buy EVERYWHERE
Scott Bennett - “Gr.. @scottbcomedyuk
8K Followers 4K Following Comic / Writer / Live at the Apollo / News Quiz / Podcast @BWTBpod / Lockdown show @standupinashed Tours / Gigs / Merch 👉 https://t.co/rMxOhULlm9
Steve Shanyaski @steveshanyaski
3K Followers 636 Following Comedian 🎤 Sparky ⚡️ master baker 🥖 Foodie 🥘 food channel: https://t.co/ETkvr0xBIa
Jordan @jhandford11
2K Followers 2K Following Work~Act~Direct~Comedy Promoter ‘Laffalot Promotions’ ~ Trustee for @EdgarsGift supporting young adults with cancer ~LCFC 🦊 ~ #BoltUp 🏈
Nate Armbruster @natecomedy
3K Followers 2K Following I like to write jokes. And tell those jokes to audiences in the form of stand-up comedy.
Disko Comedy @DiskoComedy
310 Followers 665 Following Search Engine spotlighting #Comedians and #Comedy content | Part of @WatchDisko
sinhaha @paulybengali
7K Followers 695 Following Comedian Chaser Gay NHS botherer. Enquiries [email protected]
Ian McAtominey (he/hi.. @tontthebaggie
137 Followers 155 Following
Hanspeter Kuenzler @HPKuenzler
668 Followers 330 Following
Erica @ed_55uk
130 Followers 253 Following
Open Culture @openculture
416K Followers 1K Following Find our daily culture posts on Threads, FB, Mastodon, BlueSky & Post.
Emma Tofi 💙🌈�.. @EmmaTofi
1K Followers 2K Following AKA MrsManics: YouTuber, Manics fan, nerd. Barbershop singer with @_MoreHarmony and one half of @LittleBirdTWT She/Her https://t.co/AI4zTdYhdC
Institute of Art and .. @IAI_TV
24K Followers 3K Following Bringing you the ideas that matter. Subscribe here: https://t.co/ztuIE60xr1 Hosts the philosophy and music @HTLGIFestival: https://t.co/eQmPCaa5r4
Late Stage Comedy - L.. @latestagecomedy
553 Followers 1K Following Bringing you nights of hilarious comedy in Nottingham and across the East Midlands. Book via https://t.co/KcWHGRb6qO!
The Stand @StandComedyClub
43K Followers 3K Following Tweets from the country's best comedy clubs. Situated in Edinburgh, Glasgow and Newcastle.
Bronwyn Sweeney @TheBron_Com
174 Followers 518 Following British-born, American-presenting comedian based in London. TCK. Adult disney fan. Still playing words with friends.
christopher macarthur.. @macarthurboyd
11K Followers 3K Following the post-punk ronnie corbett i'm touring the UK & ireland x check the linktree for tickets agent: [email protected]
Helen Anderson @HelenAnderson
60 Followers 177 Following I should be doing laundry and filing stuff with the court but here I am
A Village in Crisis p.. @VillageinCrisis
329 Followers 3K Following Two heroes try and save a small village from crisis through the medium of podcast.
Tom Trest @norestfortrest
755 Followers 522 Following One corrupting force. Two desperate agents. Zero scruples. https://t.co/L2w9Hbu81P @the100handedpod
Goodpods @GoodpodsHQ
100K Followers 110K Following The global community of podcast lovers. The “Goodreads for podcasts.” Follow friends to discover and share podcasts. https://t.co/V01JhhLu1z
Phil Gilliver @phil_gilliver
390 Followers 1K Following Comedy Scriptwriter from Wrexham. Sitcom factory, screenwriter, soon podcaster, rock bassist and cheese enthusiast. #edinburghfringe24
Matt Rees Welsh Stand.. @themattrees
2K Followers 2K Following I tell jokes on stage. https://t.co/uBcSJn4yRx
Roland Gent @RolandGent
445 Followers 2K Following Journalist and Video Editor at Reach News. Mirror, Star, MEN, etc All my views are my own. My opinions are not my employer’s. https://t.co/ks4inOjDwC
Podomedy @podomedynetwork
142 Followers 201 Following The Podcast Comedy Network. Join us and get @podsprite for free 👇🏻
Heswall Hall @HeswallHall
2K Followers 460 Following A unique venue hosting live music events, comedy, weddings, functions etc Partnered with Blind Pig Bar & Boysenberry Catering Reg Charity No: 1140612
Not Water Comedy Club @NotWaterComedy
169 Followers 382 Following X's only purpose built parody comedy club. Home of Phil Swish, Frankie Quorn and the Corpse Chaps Chatting podcast.
JokePit Your Comedy E.. @PromoteComedy
3K Followers 413 Following #SupportLocalComedy 🌎🌍🌏Find The Best #StandUpComedy Near You! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Worldwide Comedy Box Office🎟📧 https://t.co/Eo6yybL5ka Ticket Sales PR & Promotion
iCaveDave @iCave_Dave
2K Followers 913 Following iShepherd. Font snob. Horribly Biased Apple Youtubist. Maven. Host of Aluminium Podcast
Don Biswas @DonBiswascomedy
4K Followers 4K Following Political comedian with Dyspraxia. For all enquiries contact [email protected]
Sara Snowball @Sarz85137428
9 Followers 396 Following
Jericho Comedy @ComedyJericho
1K Followers 1K Following Oxford's number one independent comedy club 'Top 6 UK Comedy Nights' Chortle Award Winners 2019 & 2020 'Top 5 UK comedy venues in the UK' Culture Calling
Hephzibah Kaplan @HephziKaplan
175 Followers 455 Following Author, Art Therapist, Artist, Agent Provocateur. My tweets may utilise reverse psychology and irony. Please don’t take at face value 🙏.https://t.co/7RWHpj4YqO
Graham — Red Enligh.. @onalifeglug
5K Followers 5K Following Red Enlightenment: on Socialism, Science & Spirituality (2023, @RepeaterBooks), Shock Doctrine of the Left (2018, Polity). Working on a utopian novel.
Al Gordon @iamAlGordon
302 Followers 858 Following Stand up comedian and writer / performer based in Cardiff. All views are mine unless I've nicked them. dilute to taste
Dawne @Dawne__
758 Followers 2K Following Artist/Designer/ Kentexan /PROUD DEPPFORD WIFE ; OG JDfamWarrior / Truth Seeker/ 🏴☠️Generally Nice;Mrs, Mama, and FurBabyMama; Question Everyone & Everything
Rob Lord @Roblord
2K Followers 3K Following Scores include Troop Zero with Viola Davis for Amazon Studios and I Am Durán with Robert De Niro for Universal Pictures. Represented by https://t.co/XXxDnRFKqN
Alexander's @AlexandersLive
6K Followers 1K Following Chester's most iconic live music venue & home to FRIDAY NIGHT COMEDY. Great drinks selection, wines, spirits & beers with inside and outside seating.
Steve Wood @SteveWo33589009
254 Followers 334 Following RMN, Psychological Therapist and Poet with Parkinsons ( go and have a look at my poems at https://t.co/3roC8S5oz5...something for everyone)
Brendan Quinn @TheBrendanQuinn
229 Followers 2K Following
Ricky Balshaw @ricky_balshaw
996 Followers 270 Following Comedian and Paralympic medalist. For all bookings please e-mail [email protected]
The Halls of Ridiculo.. @HallsofRid
317 Followers 719 Following #Improv #Sketch duo @twitlumb & @Phil_AllanSmith 🏆‘Best Alternative Act’ - Yorkshire Comedy Awards 2023 🏆Southport New Comedian Of The Year 2023
John Lumgair @JohnLumgair
283 Followers 853 Following I'm a director at https://t.co/TRwHy9lmxR, where animate & illustrate to spark thoughts, laughter and imagination and I'm working on https://t.co/veNvSeFCxA
Jordan @FunnyJordanD
684 Followers 596 Following A Canadian comedian living in Manchester. host of Comics in the Combat zone on the Wrestling Brain feed Instagram: @FunnyJordanD , @jokes_at_the_oaks
Lyle 🏴.. @Lyle_l
364 Followers 2K Following How can I get more followers? Don't ask me, I don't know how I got the ones I have...
Jer Clifton @jerclifton
1K Followers 439 Following Husband, father, and @Penn scientist studying primals. This 5-minute video explains close to a decade of my research: https://t.co/ky9AltaI4A
I've seen hundreds of acts over the past thirty years - and the one who has consistently made me cry laughing, exhauasted and wrung out at the end of every single tour show - is this man - Count Arthur Strong! @Arthur_Strong
Thanks for coming to @Arena_Theatre tonight if you did my fab support was my good pal and podcast cohost @Barry_Dodds got to love Wolverhampton ❤️ ORANGE TITS
@AndyJWhite @MartinMorComedy So many people have distanced themselves from me even my handbag can't bear to be next to me.
Really looking forward to this gig thanks to the James and Harrison @chuckl_events for the opportunity 👍♥️
I want these two to adopt me, just two of the funniest, loveliest professional comedians I’ve gigged with so far. @iandstone @ninia_benjamin
@AndyJWhite "You're a Christian? Are you R'lyeh?"
Let not the beauty of the empty page Forbid the hand that bears the eager quill.
Don't let that scientific book-reading Captain logic exterior fool you...that Robin Ince is a right old softie - look at his happy little face! x
A package from @AdrianEdmondson - tears. Thank you x
Episodes one and two on the Sounds App now and episode three will be broadcast at 6.30 tomorrow.
One Person Found This Helpful launches on @BBCRadio4 this evening, and our review of this morning’s papers is that we’re very much a fan… thank you to everyone who made us their pick of the week! Tonight at 18:30 on @BBCRadio4 then @BBCSounds - with the peerless @FrankOnTheRadio
I recently visited the notorious no-go area of Sparkbrook in Birmingham, and can confirm that the size of the nan bread is extremely intimidating.
Boy’s back for a couple of days, with his tales of endangered species and bonding with Mandrills and working under lemur treetop canopies and my soppy Mum heart bursts to have him home. Primates' loss, my gain.
The final scene in Titanic, except the platoon are all waiting for Pike at Walmington-on-Sea Church Hall before they can fall in. RIP.
I’ve just found Ford Kiernan on TikTok and it’s as bloody delightful as you’d imagine x
Rusty Bin
Name this foundation shade.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was easily recognised early now one suspects that random acrostics never give entirely reliable sentences to one lest overt vexation exist
Just changed a fuse in my car
Such an idiot piece of grandstanding. I have major problems with Corbyn and he is no friend of the Jews, BUT, he clearly understands the importance of actual public service and serving communities in the way a honking fascist like Farage never has.
.@wesstreeting clearly feeling punchy at the @JewishLabour conference today. He blasted both the hard-right and hard-left, describing @jeremycorbyn and @Nigel_Farage as "two cheeks of the same backside". More: news.sky.com/story/politics…
@AndyJWhite you done well there mate and kept going till the ene ...onwards and upwards
Trends for United States
You might like
