Chiltern Failways @Chilternfails
That operator that everyone forgets about and no one really care about. Failing to provide a decent rail service across the Chilterns. (Parody/Satire) Chilterns Joined October 2023-
Tweets42
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Followers72
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Following87
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Likes7
Delighted to announce that we will be fucking over East West Rail from later this year!
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Love a bit of automated responses
🚨We're charging 25p for water at Marylebone now!
We're impacted by @ASLEFunion strike action on May 8th 2024. No one cares though as everyone forgets the Chilterns exist
On April 5th, no Chiltern Fails services will run due to strike action by @ASLEFunion, not even 165s on Birmingham-London services.
All @ArrivaGroup TOCs have a 1.4 star rating, its almost like @ArrivaGroup can't run TOCs.
Chiltern Failways is impacted by strike action being conducted by @ASLEFunion between Monday 28 January 2024 and Tuesday 6 February 2024. We recommend traveling on @FailedLondon Metropolitan Line.
Services are disrupted due to a landslip at #BicesterNorth. Ticket acceptance is in place with @GWFailway so good luck!
We can confirm that we plan to take on former @ChaosForWales 175s to bring us up to @ArrivaGroup standards of train fires.
Happy New Year from everyone at the Chiltern Failways team! Here's to continuing to pollute the Chilterns!
Chiltern Failways wishes everyone a Merry Christmas, we can't wait to continue to pollute the Chilterns!
Looks like we've converted the 168s to use Adelante engines now.
Looks like we've converted the 168s to use Adelante engines now.
#BREAKING All of our loco hauled trains will be removed from service meaning that all of our trains will be formed of no more than 3 carriages. This is to fall in line with @TPE_Slay/@tpenninedistres and @ChaosForWales who are removing their loco hauled trains.
We are saddened by the hate we have received, admin has decided to suspend operations on this account and will review that situation.
Morning some random hills we have to serve for some reason, as we don't know where we have to serve, we're just cancelling everything.
Good morning this place that the Government doesn't care about, remember we are operating 2 carriage trains between London and Birmingham on major intercity routes.
MerseyrailMail @MerseyrailM
28 Followers 68 Following This account is used for capturing BR trains, and this isn't the merseyrail account, if you are looking for it then here's @merseyrail
GreaterFailure @lesseranglia_
10 Followers 28 Following Welcome to the official account of greaterfaliure, We never arrive on time, and always are overcrowded or cancelled! (PARODY ACCOUNT)
Depressed Who Does No... @DepressedDeject
1 Followers 7 Following Let it Rot 摆烂 We are fucked. Fight back. Burn it down.
southeastern failway @se_railway_fail
33 Followers 85 Following Providing usless information about Southeastern services 24/7. For comments, complaints & fares fuck off cuz we don't give 2 shits.
TS Trains @TS_Trains
1K Followers 3K Following 18 🏳️🌈 Gay He/They :) Train Enthusiast and usually posts random rubbish :D Have a nice day!
Fix Northern Rail @fixnorthernrail
67 Followers 30 Following Bio cancelled due to a short-notice timetable change caused by overcrowding because of a short formation
Island Fail @IslandFail
44 Followers 82 Following Misery brought to Islanders since 2017. Don't bother trying to get onboard, it won't turn up. Proud to be apart of @SWF_Help Parody/Satire Sometimes serious :)
Anthony Robinson @ant_w_robbo
8 Followers 139 Following
Avanti Late Coast @AvantiLateC
123 Followers 117 Following Here at Avanti Late Coast, we want to make sure that you arrive at your destination as late as possible (maybe never) (parody/satire)
Dogman @dingbat109
18 Followers 158 Following 📍 Isle of Wight Presenter @raveradio_ Views are my own and don't reflect on Rave Radio.
NetworkFailPAD @networkfailpad
49 Followers 37 Following We manage London Paddington station and ensure that you don't leave on time. Enquiries may or may not be replied to. (Parody account)
Lidia @halligan_lidia2
276 Followers 3K Following
Kimberly @k_gatlin90
223 Followers 3K Following
Sheryl @herrera9sheryl
464 Followers 3K Following
Department Against Ed... @Department28386
37 Followers 71 Following We love making children suffer! Privatising schools thanks to academies and then forcing academies to join our friends at Outwood Grange Academy. Parody!
Scamline @scamline49063
47 Followers 84 Following The UK's favourite booking site for train tickets. Scamming passengers every minute, disinformation. Parody
Rhonda @rhonda_blevins7
401 Followers 3K Following
Nicole @clementsnicole2
295 Followers 3K Following
Dorothy @dorothy40310648
2K Followers 3K Following
ryan burns @ryanbur8767183
482 Followers 2K Following MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL IS CALLED bigrstransport we're I upload darly content off both trains and buses have a look and wouldn't really mean a lot if use subscribed
Mismanaged Tracks & R... @mtrparody
48 Followers 86 Following Partially responsible for the mess that is @SWFailway and fully responsible for the mess that is the Elizabeth Line. Parody
London Northwestern F... @lnfailway
57 Followers 107 Following Trying to compete with @AvantiCoast1/@AvantiLateC on who can provide the worst service. Failed to provide service to the Marston Vale Line for 11 months. Parody
Stagejoke Merseyside ... @StagejokeMCSL
61 Followers 74 Following we fail to run our services in Preston
Later Anglia @later_anglia
55 Followers 72 Following We serve the UK's version of the Netherlands. Our service was so bad that @FailedLondon took over from us. We also run the @StansaidAirport Express. Parody
Not So Great Northern @not_northern
56 Followers 90 Following The most Northerly station we serve is King's Lynn which is North according to the Tories. Also, our service is crap. Part of @GTFailway. Parody
Thameshite @thameshite
64 Followers 89 Following Failing to get commuters where they need to be, both North and South of London. Part of @GTFailway and @GoAwayGroup. Parody
London North Eastern ... @LNEFailway
170 Followers 81 Following Hello from the LNEF Social Media Team. We’re not here most of the time. We will not ask for personal details! Our account identifies as a Class 801 Azuma.
Adrian @dog_gem
2K Followers 1K Following #BlindRider. One of two horse parents to Lily. Bisexual🏳️🌈. Pronouns are they/them. Check out our blog
Pee Network @Pee_Network
131 Followers 67 Following Every journey. Every day. Cancelled. Parody account
Stagepoor Manchester @StagepoorGM
91 Followers 102 Following We are not original Stagecoach Manchester! (Parody Account)
Tyne and Wear Ghettro @My_Ghettro
63 Followers 44 Following Real time cancellation updates. Abusive tweets will be tolerated. Live laugh love low rail adhesion! Parody account, Metro apologises
TransPennine Distress @tpenninedistres
93 Followers 39 Following We love short-notice changes to the timetable. Parody account (obviously)
jen on the loo @JenOnTheLoo
57 Followers 51 Following I hate parody accounts with a burning passion. Ironically, this is a parody account.
Southern Failway @S_Failway
61 Followers 69 Following *Parody Account* All of our trains are cancelled, THIS IS A PARODY ACCOUNT IF YOU CAN'T READ DON'T GO MAD AT ME.
Crap2Customers Fail @Crap2Customers
60 Followers 84 Following Well it's Essex innit, what do you expect from an Essex train operator? (Parody/Satire)
TransPanini Express @TPE_Slay
98 Followers 169 Following buggering the Pennines since 2017. don’t expect a friendly hello! (parody)
Chaos For Wales @ChaosForWales
171 Followers 117 Following Here at Chaos For Wales, we strive to cancel as many services as we can and the ones we do run will be packed like sardines and delayed. (Parody/Satire)
Hell Trains @helltrains1
82 Followers 99 Following Our trains are meant to take you from London to that dump Hull, which is hell, but are always cancelled. Brought to you by @WorstgroupUK. Parody
Network Fail @NetworkFail3
75 Followers 90 Following Failing to manage the UK Rail Network. Loves signal failures and track failures. We're as bad as Railtrack if not worse! (Parody/Satire)
Cross-Chaos Trains @CrossChaos56
140 Followers 97 Following Here at Cross-Chaos trains, we aim to get you to where you need to be while being packed like sardines onto one of our trains for a long time. (parody/satire)
Mary @mcwhorter_mary5
308 Followers 3K Following
Metrocrime @Metrocrimeldn
1 Followers 24 Following
Failsdev Blazingshit @FailsdevUK
69 Followers 95 Following Parody account used to aid the running of @BlackburningBus @RossoBusParody and @BurnleyParody Owned by @BazzaNorthWest Subsidy of @Failsdev
Team Penis @TeamPenisBuses
32 Followers 38 Following We’re ruining customer levels and cancelling all of our buses around Kirklees and Calderdale. By @failsdev
Island Fail @IslandFail
44 Followers 82 Following Misery brought to Islanders since 2017. Don't bother trying to get onboard, it won't turn up. Proud to be apart of @SWF_Help Parody/Satire Sometimes serious :)
Fix Northern Rail @fixnorthernrail
67 Followers 30 Following Bio cancelled due to a short-notice timetable change caused by overcrowding because of a short formation
Skipping Stotts @SkippingStotts
194 Followers 229 Following This account documents times that Stotts buses skip out sections of the routes, stranding passengers. If Stotts didn't skip, this account wouldn't exist
Department Against Ed... @Department28386
37 Followers 71 Following We love making children suffer! Privatising schools thanks to academies and then forcing academies to join our friends at Outwood Grange Academy. Parody!
Arriva Group @ArrivaGroup
3K Followers 254 Following The latest corporate news from Arriva Group. For travel enquiries, please visit: https://t.co/xfM8NdCvx0
Scamline @scamline49063
47 Followers 84 Following The UK's favourite booking site for train tickets. Scamming passengers every minute, disinformation. Parody
Mismanaged Tracks & R... @mtrparody
48 Followers 86 Following Partially responsible for the mess that is @SWFailway and fully responsible for the mess that is the Elizabeth Line. Parody
Thameshite @thameshite
64 Followers 89 Following Failing to get commuters where they need to be, both North and South of London. Part of @GTFailway and @GoAwayGroup. Parody
Not So Great Northern @not_northern
56 Followers 90 Following The most Northerly station we serve is King's Lynn which is North according to the Tories. Also, our service is crap. Part of @GTFailway. Parody
Later Anglia @later_anglia
55 Followers 72 Following We serve the UK's version of the Netherlands. Our service was so bad that @FailedLondon took over from us. We also run the @StansaidAirport Express. Parody
London Northwestern F... @lnfailway
57 Followers 107 Following Trying to compete with @AvantiCoast1/@AvantiLateC on who can provide the worst service. Failed to provide service to the Marston Vale Line for 11 months. Parody
Tyne and Wear Metro @My_Metro
157K Followers 831 Following Real time travel updates. Page monitored day and night. Abusive tweets will not be tolerated. Contact: [email protected] 0191 2020 747.
Mark Harper @Mark_J_Harper
49K Followers 1K Following Member @UKHouseofLords | MP for the Forest of Dean 2005-2024 | Former Transport Secretary, Govt Chief Whip and Minister in DWP, Home Office & Cabinet Office
Rail Delivery Group @RailDeliveryGrp
25K Followers 1K Following Our purpose is to create a simpler, better railway for everyone in Britain. For enquiries, please use @nationalrailenq
FirstGroup plc @FirstGroupplc
5K Followers 211 Following We provide easy and convenient mobility, improving quality of life by connecting people and communities. Corporate, bus and rail news, here 9-5 GMT, Mon-Fri.
Huw Merriman @HuwMerriman
21K Followers 762 Following Living in the present but… Former MP Bexhill & Battle 2015-24 | Former Minister of State for Rail & HS2 | Former Chair of Transport Select Committee
The Transpennine Rout... @theTRUpgrade
4K Followers 110 Following Bringing a faster, greener & more reliable railway to the North. This account isn’t monitored 24/7 so please visit https://t.co/CJMda7BSIx.
Department for Transp... @transportgovuk
118K Followers 2K Following We're the UK Department for Transport (DfT). Follow us for transport policy updates and announcements.
ScotRail @ScotRail
296K Followers 2K Following Hello! This is the official X account of ScotRail and we’re here to help Mon - Sun 0700 - 0000. Safety issue? Speak to staff or Help Points ASAP!
Hull Trains @Hull_Trains
15K Followers 320 Following For live service updates, visit https://t.co/hz35UmiuPF. For Customer Services: https://t.co/2NHUdhSc8D Customer support 06:00 - 23:00 (Mon-Sun)
No Context Brits @NoContextBrits
1.8M Followers 0 Following A mordant celebration of British mediocrity according to the Washington Post. Contains sarcasm, irony and context.
Sandford Police Comme... @Sandford_Police
249K Followers 2K Following England’s smallest Police Farce, committed to catching crinimals & a swan. Don’t report crime. Emergency? Yes📞999 | No📞101 (PARODY/SATIRE) #TheGreaterGood
Stagecunt @Stagecunt_GB
82 Followers 37 Following We’re back. Owned by @tridentolympus. Proud supporters of #EBGMustGo. Proud haters of the S*n. A parallel universe, we don’t actually hate Stagecoach.
London North Eastern ... @LNEFailway
170 Followers 81 Following Hello from the LNEF Social Media Team. We’re not here most of the time. We will not ask for personal details! Our account identifies as a Class 801 Azuma.
Tyne and Wear Ghettro @My_Ghettro
63 Followers 44 Following Real time cancellation updates. Abusive tweets will be tolerated. Live laugh love low rail adhesion! Parody account, Metro apologises
Blackburning Bus Comp... @BlackburningBus
47 Followers 40 Following Burning Buses Since 2009 This is a parody so don't take it seriously, I'm looking at you Jen!
Southern Failway @S_Failway
61 Followers 69 Following *Parody Account* All of our trains are cancelled, THIS IS A PARODY ACCOUNT IF YOU CAN'T READ DON'T GO MAD AT ME.
jen on the loo @JenOnTheLoo
57 Followers 51 Following I hate parody accounts with a burning passion. Ironically, this is a parody account.
National Expense @NationalExpense
41 Followers 20 Following Hello, We like to cancel all our buses and coaches in the UK
Stagejoke Merseyside ... @StagejokeMCSL
61 Followers 74 Following we fail to run our services in Preston
NetworkFailPAD @networkfailpad
49 Followers 37 Following We manage London Paddington station and ensure that you don't leave on time. Enquiries may or may not be replied to. (Parody account)
Stagepoor Manchester @StagepoorGM
91 Followers 102 Following We are not original Stagecoach Manchester! (Parody Account)
TransPanini Express @TPE_Slay
98 Followers 169 Following buggering the Pennines since 2017. don’t expect a friendly hello! (parody)
ShitachiFailENG @ShitachiFailENG
50 Followers 34 Following At Shitachi Fail, we believe that every passenger, customer and community can love the benefits of more bumpy, diesel mobility. (Parody account)
Crap2Customers Fail @Crap2Customers
60 Followers 84 Following Well it's Essex innit, what do you expect from an Essex train operator? (Parody/Satire)
TransPennine Distress @tpenninedistres
93 Followers 39 Following We love short-notice changes to the timetable. Parody account (obviously)
Hell Trains @helltrains1
82 Followers 99 Following Our trains are meant to take you from London to that dump Hull, which is hell, but are always cancelled. Brought to you by @WorstgroupUK. Parody
Network Fail @NetworkFail3
75 Followers 90 Following Failing to manage the UK Rail Network. Loves signal failures and track failures. We're as bad as Railtrack if not worse! (Parody/Satire)
Network Rail @networkrail
206K Followers 261 Following *Official account* 🚂 We own, operate and develop Britain’s rail infrastructure. Follow #PuttingPassengersFirst #RailwayUpgradePlan ➡️ Customer support 24/7
Cross-Chaos Trains @CrossChaos56
140 Followers 97 Following Here at Cross-Chaos trains, we aim to get you to where you need to be while being packed like sardines onto one of our trains for a long time. (parody/satire)
Failsdev Blazingshit @FailsdevUK
69 Followers 95 Following Parody account used to aid the running of @BlackburningBus @RossoBusParody and @BurnleyParody Owned by @BazzaNorthWest Subsidy of @Failsdev
Team Penis @TeamPenisBuses
32 Followers 38 Following We’re ruining customer levels and cancelling all of our buses around Kirklees and Calderdale. By @failsdev
c2c Fail @c2cfail
40 Followers 46 Following Bringing back the Misery line. When we say we run services between London and South Essex, we mean you’ll be running from London to South Essex. (PARODY)
TfL @TfL
2.5M Followers 111 Following We’re here to help you get where you’re going in London 🚶 🚲 🚇 🚌 🚠
High Spend 2 @HighSpend2
65 Followers 84 Following You know that High Speed rail line that's meant to connect London, Birmingham,Midlands and North?Its now a tram line between Reading and Slough (Parody/Satire)
Heathrow Expense @HeathrowExpense
62 Followers 71 Following Travel from London Paddington to Heathrow Airport for the rip off price of £25 that will break your bank account. Operated by @GWFailway. (Parody/Satire)
Flamestom @Flamestom
71 Followers 80 Following Proud makers of the Class 180 Adelante and Class 175 Coradia. Loves trains fires. (Parody/Satire)
Chiltern Main Line @NetworkRailCML
2K Followers 147 Following Network Rail account for the Chiltern main line (Birmingham Snow Hill to Marylebone) and the Snow Hill line (Worcester to Stratford-upon-Avon).
Office of Fail and Ro... @FailandRoad
74 Followers 91 Following Failing to regulate the UK rail network but making motorists' lives easier. (Parody/Satire)
Failsdev @Failsdev
52 Followers 23 Following A Transdev Parody Account. I own @KeighlateBus & @HarrocrapBus parody accountsTrends for United States
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