Kevin Dombrowski @KevinDombrowski
stand up comic | new album: STAY AT HOME, KEVIN | avail everywhere now dot.cards/kevin_dombrows… New York City Joined September 2010-
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Lot of theater crowds lately - had to test it out.
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My three year old got her first haircut yesterday and I obviously did the ridiculous thing and saved some but mostly for my own head.
Someone in this house is going over my fucking head.
Really like how this ‘nice family photo’ my wife took just makes me look like a dirranged hitchhiker about to snap.
I just bought so much junk food on my ride home that my passenger seatbelt alarm went off.
Every time a random convenience store clerk tells me he hasn’t seen me in a while I can tell he just thinks I’m an undercover cop working the overnight shift.
Today I told someone that I thought was lying to me that I would suck my own dick if they were telling the truth and now that’s apparently an inappropriate thing to say to a new neighbor while they’re moving in.
The battle for spring has begun.
It takes a special type of person to shit in a comedy club bathroom.
Draining the swamp.
The greatest story ever told.
Me getting out of bed in the morning.
About to get high hahaha I’m so lonely.
Kevin Dombrowski retweeted
Performing at @SoulJoels in Clearwater FL this wknd on 4/20, bring the bath salts, let’s party. souljoels.com/shop/tickets/k…
If you think Taylor Swift’s new 31 song album is good you should hear the 31 reasons my wife is filing for sole custody of our kid.
The hype for 420 hits differently when you’re almost 40 and the gummies are Metamucil.
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New set up for the pod. Took the other couch from out the office. #thechrisalanshow
@brokendowndart @KevinDombrowski This guy drinks, and suffers from, Peronis.
@KevinDombrowski thank god it was only a Disney Cruise
Lot of theater crowds lately - had to test it out.
@KevinDombrowski The nerves keep so many from the foot lights. 😂
Anyone who thinks comedy is dead should come here for laughs: I was looking at a very ugly man today. Then I suddenly realized.............. I was staring into a reflective window!! I post stuff like this every day. #ComedyAliveAndWell
What does Hoody Johnson think about the draft? We may find out soon! @leeovalentin
@KevinDombrowski Sir you are a hero. A Uyager might of just made it one more day by you building your midlife crisis wig locally and sustainably. #floortofolical #kevinisgay
Told you guys!!! Super pumped to SELL OUT my show in the Main Room at the legendary @TheComedyStore !!! @NetflixIsAJoke
@KevinDombrowski Just wait about 10 years, then she can call you lame for doing it. And then in 20 she will show her kid and cry.
Boston we love you! Boys are in NYC next for Town Hall. Grab the squad and lets party! areyougarbage.com/pages/live-sho…
@KevinDombrowski What’s it like being bald and walking in a hair salon? Feel like you’re trolling until they see the kid?
Bet this was a good time. 🫡
the wedding i went to last night had an open bar with free cigs 🥰
@KevinDombrowski Don't listen to me. I just sharted my pants after sending that.. I ... have a project infont of me. I bid you all good evening.
@KevinDombrowski I put my reading glasses on when I seen you posted. I thought "How can I make Kevin feel like a tard today" You did the heavy lifting for me! Literally still in my PJs. Your family likes Jeff Bezos' jokes more than yours! Get a forklift license
@KevinDombrowski My Alexa addresses me as my daughter at least half the time. She is 26 and doesn’t live with us.
@KevinDombrowski Change the voice... or its name... tee hee
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