maddie @MaddieCCollins
comedian or whatever Los Angeles, CA Joined August 2011-
Tweets6K
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Followers414
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Following443
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Likes121K
People only like you because youre kind and and smart lmao. You only have friends because your presence puts people at ease and makes their day easier lol
there should be a “step on it! just drive! go go go!” option on uber for when you’re running late
people know about zizek right? like if u want “jordan peterson on the left”….. zizek is like right there. he’s debated the dude before! peterson started in philosophy and pivoted. my guy slavoj stayed writing books about his love of kung fu panda and hegel.
🫡 emoji of the year i think. genuinely don’t remember how i used to communicate before it
[girl at her absolute lowest] I need to make a zine
Problem // solution
i must say... the National Geographic fleece collection goes hard
ok work @jonimitchell
fuck marry kill!!! the person you assume me to be, the person i believe is my "true and internal self", the person i want you to think i am (these three women have very little in common and, worse still, none of them are any less tangibly real than the others)
Hey! Stop scrolling. Do you like fun and have $10? Come to this show at @TheGlendaleRoom. Tonight. Doors at 7:30. It's got @simeygibson @chrisfairbanks @MaddieCCollins @PrigoAlexis @GregtheGrouch @lynnmaleh I'm hosting. Get tickets here. 👇 eventbrite.com/e/flagship-tic…
You guys! Flagship is this is Friday. I'm hosting. It's at @TheGlendaleRoom. And it has the hilarious... @simeygibson @chrisfairbanks @MaddieCCollins @PrigoAlexis @GregtheGrouch @lynnmaleh Purchase tickets here 👇 eventbrite.com/e/flagship-tic…
it’s bisexual awareness week so everyone be vigilant, they could be lurking anywhere. stay safe
Chris Estrada - Texas.. @ChrisEstrada85
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130K Followers 1K Following The Principal from Ten Year Old Tom on HBO Max. Show dates on my website.👇🏻I can’t stop thinking about Challengers. My whole life is consumed. Just called an Uber (like in Challengers) working on my laptop (Zendaya works on a laptop in Challengers) kissing a man (wish I were doing this in front of Zendaya) etc.
There was a post on R/relationships & it's living rent free in my head. Some woman who loves plants was having a bad run of it with some of her most prized plants dying and couldn't figure out why, and it was slowly crushing her and it turns out her husband was poisoning them 😳
this woman does not live in brooklyn, she lives in a c tier city that has a brewery that used to be a factory and a place where you can throw axes
you date her right after moving to brooklyn. she has an art degree and mild bpd. works as a barista. you go to bookstores and punk shows with her. confess your love after IPAs and some blow. then its over. you could have married her. had a life with her. but you chose darkness.
In the movie 'The matrix' Neo's passport has an expiration date set to 9/11/2001
she looks like shes tired of rumors starting and sick of being followed
Khloe Kardashian in new photos.
everyone says steely dan steely dan but I really think it's fleetwood mac that flips a switch once you hit 30 or so. goes from sounding like goats to being, well, THE GOAT
"Jackass" star Steve-O says he asked Bill Maher not to smoke pot during a potential interview and to respect his 16 years of sobriety. Maher allegedly refused. "I found it kind of upsetting when the Bill Maher podcast reached out and he smokes pot the whole time while he…
Alright well That’s not what the tarot card lady on tik tok said. So
I hope this Whore gets hit by a truck.
When asked about US voters upset with the choice between Joe Biden and Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton says: "Get over yourself. Those are the two choices." Really glad to see she's learned lessons from her 2016 defeat then!
Pretty sure I saw a celebrity, but it also just could’ve been a guy wearing sunglasses inside the airport
I’ve tried to avoid the Gypsy Rose coverage but leaving your husband and getting matching tattoos with your ex the next day is a move I can’t ignore
(Watching Steph curry a boy make a 3) let’s go (Watching Caitlyn Clark a girl make a 3) let’s go (Watching ol ennis mcclary who’s family owns the feed store by the creek make a 3) Ennis you still owes my Pa a horse
A man of the people (me and my fellow dinner theater haters)
Danny McBride "can't stand" movie theaters that serve dinner during screenings. “I hate it. I also don’t think it makes sense to combine booze with movies. You’re going to have to piss. Doesn’t alcohol make you want to get up and get loose? You don’t want to sit there, drink…
when I met my husband, I said I lived in Brooklyn even though I actually lived in Connecticut, and he said he lived in Brooklyn even though he was really just visiting from Minnesota. But against all odds we came together bc we shared a fundamental value. Lying
💤 gemini risings: new moon in pisces 3/10 moodboard horoscope 💤