Michael Martin @MikeMartin74
My life story is a mash up of Surf Ninjas, D2 Mighty Ducks, and Brules Rules. Joined February 2015-
Tweets15
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Followers16
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Following26
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Likes3
Q: So what exactly are we doing at this service project? A: Well if you've ever been a lunch lady...that's pretty much it.
When you find this in your pocket and have no idea where it came from... #HeavenSent instagram.com/p/0LbsvFOYL1/
When a guy with a man bun and affliction shirt says he knows better method to solve a math prob and does the EXACT same thing you did...
Convincing your 7 and 4 yr old nephews not to touch the hot oil cause it's lava is surprisingly easy.
Me shooting someone on call of duty. They were 7 yrs old and called me a "dang bi**h"
Me At the Barber: Me: let's just do a 1" fade Barber: Let me begin telling you every depressing thing I've survived since last time...
When the self checkout guy who looks like jack skeleton with hair and gauges tells you "today's a good day. I get custody of my girl..."
Comment about judgement at church today: even though he may be a heroine addict, you can love him and not wish he'd just die and go away.
When you see a girl at church who looks like T Swift, and then find out she does it on purpose cause she's knows she looks like T Swift.
What if foam insulation was really just unseasoned Cheetos...
I dunno which inspires me more; the fact that this man exists or that there's a town called Dunwoody.
My brother and his wife got new phones. This is what I've received over the past 2 days...
@BeardedMangus did anyone throw a tomato and head of lettuce at him?
What if when Hitch's dating business got exposed, he packed up his stuff and became the Fresh Prince. Whoa.
Kayla @Kayla43446165
84 Followers 4K Following 😗😀 I'm Kaylа!💕 Hеrе is mу album аnd my nudе рhotos!)) Vоtе fоr mе, pleasе:❕ https://t.co/RxmPJfw55k
Steve Hilton @Stevehilton22
49 Followers 737 Following
Chase Talbot @ChaseTalbot9
92 Followers 906 Following
Derek Eliason @Deliason33
19 Followers 54 Following
Eric Shelley @ee_shell_ee
108 Followers 485 Following Utah Jazz. Neutral State of Utah College football fan. #TakeNote #GoCougs #GoUtes and... I guess, #GoAggies
Curtis Wyner @CurtisWyner
15 Followers 59 Following
Emma Ellen Sesay @sesay_emma
25 Followers 132 Following
Jonathan Lee @jonathanPlee
46 Followers 103 Following
Adam Flamm @AdamFlamm
2K Followers 1K Following Owner Big Rock Plumbing & HVAC. Former Venture backed SaaS CFO. Happily married & father of 8. Homeschooling family. Hablo Español. Oxford MBA.
Tom Walker @TomWalker52
25 Followers 295 Following
Michelle @mrsUtah_AM
266 Followers 112 Following the M in @utah_am. i use this account to know what/who he is talking about. #goutes #22forever
Laura @Hngryfshnista
162 Followers 199 Following
beardedmangus @BeardedMangus
855 Followers 759 Following Utah Utes. Utah Jazz. Chicago Bears. Kansas City Royals.
Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt
3.9M Followers 4K Following Head over to https://t.co/RxSAvjPK2W for tour dates, comics & whatever else I’m working on. I like making stuff. IG, Threads & BlueSky: @pattonoswalt
suveez @KalvinHendricks
23 Followers 151 Following
Utah Football @Utah_Football
227K Followers 548 Following Official Twitter/X account for the University of Utah Football Team🙌 28x Conference Champs, 27 Bowl Appearances, 69 All-Americans #GoUtes | #22forever ♥️
Seattle Mariners @Mariners
760K Followers 2K Following Celebrating 50 Seasons of Mariners Baseball. #TridentsUp
Real Salt Lake @realsaltlake
160K Followers 189 Following Utah’s MLS Team Claret & Cobalt since ‘05 Get tickets ⬇️
Elliot Tebele @FuckJerry
69K Followers 372 Following Comedy brand. Check out our tequila at @drinkjaja and play our games @Whatdoyoumeme.
The Fat Jewish 🦩 @FATJEW
200K Followers 420 Following My mom fucked Shel Silverstein in 1971. Seriously. PRONOUNS: WE/THEM/BOYS
Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan
2.6M Followers 3K Following Male Model. “Live from Old Forester: The Bourbon Set” https://t.co/wvEONXI5na https://t.co/39GfjGbHaW
The Salt Lake Tribune @sltrib
206K Followers 791 Following The Salt Lake Tribune is a nonprofit news outlet covering Utah. Read our Pulitzer Prize-winning journalism at https://t.co/N8iTxIkbmq. RT ≠ endorsement
Neela Pack @neelapack
1K Followers 5K Following VC/M&A lawyer, turtleneck enthusiast, and fluent in Seinfeld. Tweets/likes/links ≠ legal advice or endorsement.
Eric Shelley @ee_shell_ee
108 Followers 485 Following Utah Jazz. Neutral State of Utah College football fan. #TakeNote #GoCougs #GoUtes and... I guess, #GoAggies
Jonathan Lee @jonathanPlee
46 Followers 103 Following
Chase Schults @David_Chase
164 Followers 203 Following Specialist leader for https://t.co/4kNyE6WpVt, technologist, lover of driving change through technology. Opinions and thoughts are mine.
Michelle @mrsUtah_AM
266 Followers 112 Following the M in @utah_am. i use this account to know what/who he is talking about. #goutes #22forever
Adam Flamm @AdamFlamm
2K Followers 1K Following Owner Big Rock Plumbing & HVAC. Former Venture backed SaaS CFO. Happily married & father of 8. Homeschooling family. Hablo Español. Oxford MBA.
Laura @Hngryfshnista
162 Followers 199 Following
beardedmangus @BeardedMangus
855 Followers 759 Following Utah Utes. Utah Jazz. Chicago Bears. Kansas City Royals.
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