Neil!! @NeilWithIt
I put out optimism like projectile vomit. Also, I'm never 100% sure of what I'm doing at any given moment. Detroit, MI Joined September 2012-
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Neil!! retweeted
Life's too short to be sober
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@gorge_sears All this really means is you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound tho
Everyone I want to vent at is unavailable to be vented at. When did Sunday nights get so intense for everybody except me.
@Henderson1983 The barrier between universes is growing weak. You and Girl Josh are merging into one.
If I ever give an acceptance speech I'm gonna thank my dog and tell everyone else "screw all y'all"
Neil!! retweeted
YOU ARE A CONTINUOUSLY UNFOLDING STORY TOLD BY AN UNRELIABLE NARRATOR: ACT ACCORDINGLY
Neil!! retweeted
what idiot named it pollination instead of floral sex
Neil!! retweeted
Bruce Willis stops the hands on a wall clock in McDonalds & turns around excitedly to see if everyone is still moving
Can't tell if it's a day-late barbecue or a book burning going on down the street, but it smells delicious
Why have a career when you can have a beer? Hahahahaha but no seriously idk what I'm supposed to do with my life ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I had quail for the first time today and now I understand Doug's thought process a little better.
I'm hilariously unprepared for this test in 7½ hours. Eggs is eggs. I need to get better at memorizing French people.
@Euron13 CURSES, ANOTHER FAILED ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT (whoops I just now saw this)
@MikeSadorf Turn around, stick it out, show the world you got it.
It's very upsetting that my adolescent self's favorite band did the Big Bang Theory theme song.
I'm a simple man with simple needs, which is why one of my goals in life is to consume many pizza rolls with @AndrewWK.
Fighting your inner demons is 10x cooler if you picture them as literal demons.
Discovering that I'm bad at taking my own advice. Obvious solution is to go around telling everyone "don't be rad as fuck"
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