Black Milhouse @NotJohnThomas
You're wasting your time following me. Unless you want to know how to dazzle the masses. Richmond VA Joined June 2011-
Tweets2K
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Followers223
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Following269
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Likes12K
@BradKutner You don't live anywhere near Helens
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Black Milhouse retweeted
“Liz Lemon, this is Dan Houseman.” “It’s Danhausen.” “Whatever his name is, I gave him 5 dollars to curse Martin Lawrence in 1996 and I’ve been on top ever since”
Black Milhouse retweeted
If you're a millennial it's time to pick your midlife crisis: 1. Quitting alcohol 2. Running 10 miles before work 3. Divorce 4. Panic baby at 35 with wife you hate 5. Pickleball 6. ADHD diagnosis 7. Dressing like you did in 2004 8. Blacking out every weekend like you’re 21 9. Weekly hinge dates 10. Ice baths and saunas 11. Board games and craft beer in the suburbs 12. Getting into tattoos 13. Quitting your job to explore your “passions” 14. Plants and the environment 15. Traveling
Black Milhouse retweeted
It’s almost over little buddy
Ahh the Braves season is over early again so I can go back to *checks notes* not watching Braves baseball
New phone updated my Twitter to X so me taking a stand against Elon was for not. Everything is new and scary now
Black Milhouse retweeted
being a latchkey kid was sad but kids who had a parent home to greet them never got to live in that lawless two hours where you could eat something weird and you and your brother could hit each other
@sidecarpat 2 times he could've and be winning. Oomph punt block
Black Milhouse retweeted
[Me at age thirteen listening to Trent Reznor scream about the violent self-destruction and bottomless despair of heroin addiction] god this is just like going to middle school
Black Milhouse retweeted
Black Milhouse retweeted
Just watched this 12 times. Going on 13.
@badapplegate Domme Amerikaanse vrouw!
Black Milhouse retweeted
I have never related to anything more in my entire life
Black Milhouse retweeted
having a hairline that never recedes is the male equivalent of having big naturals
@baddnoise Chromatic Devils sweater goes hard
@BradKutner Mission accomplished 🇺🇸
@Alexjonestown_ What's his cock size? Does it work? Is it pleasurable? Can he flip it down and reverse it?
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@badapplegate I didn't see a Kroger over there. Will you be ok?
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