Statler and Waldorf @StatlerWaldorf
The original cantankerous comments section has come to Twitter! Heckles, jeers, and age-old wisdom straight from the balcony. Joined May 2017-
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It's nice to go outside and get away from the annoyances of the internet for a while... and get annoyed by all the stuff going on outside instead!
The internet brought about a golden age of heckling! Now, all we need is a computer to heckle anyone, anywhere. Well, a computer and some young whippersnapper to show us how to use it.
Remember: If it's not broke, don't fix it! The opposite is true for our hearing aids... if they're broke, please don't fix 'em. We don't want to hear what @TheMuppets are doing!
It's important for any performer to maintain focus on their work. That's why it's even more important for us hecklers to interrupt them at every possible opportunity! Doh-ho-ho-ho!
S: I'm really looking forward to bringing out my cold weather wardrobe. W: Really? Why's that? S: Because I can finally wear earmuffs again – that way, I won't hear a thing @TheMuppets say, sing, or shout at me! Doh-ho-ho-ho!
Trouble falling asleep? Just turn on anything with @TheMuppets in it! If you're at all curmudgeonly like us, you'll be conked out in no time! Doh-ho-ho-ho!
They say laughter is the best medicine... No wonder our backs ache and our joints creak – we never laugh at anything!
Once you decide to become a heckler, there's really no going back from it. People find it hard to forgive somebody who throws tomatoes at them and compares them to drying paint!
With age comes wisdom... for us, it was the wisdom to heckle anything we don't think is funny – which is everything! Doh-ho-ho-ho!
Sure, the best things in life are free... but so are the worst things! For instance, we've never spent a cent to see @TheMuppets perform. Doh-ho-ho-ho!
They say you're only as funny as your last joke... We say, please oh please let that be your last, awful joke!!
We may not like 'em, but we'd love to be invited to a group text with all of @TheMuppets. Once we're in, we can heckle them no matter where they are or what they're doing! Doh-ho-ho-ho!
Even hecklers aren't immune to heckling. So go ahead, badger us, pester us, and give us the old what for! If you've really got the curmudgeonly spirit... we'll heckle you back! Doh-ho-ho-ho!
You never have to worry about a heckler getting the last laugh – if your comedy is as bad as we think it is, we won't even get a first laugh!
The world of music is about to change forever! ⚡️💥 All episodes of our distinctly groovy new series #TheMuppetsMayhem are streaming May 10 only on @DisneyPlus!
There's nothing quite like experiencing live entertainment with an audience. At our age, it's good to be around anything live! Doh-ho-ho-ho!
It's #AprilFoolsDay again. Beware of stupid pranks, dumb gags, and ridiculous attempts at being "funny." Basically, just act like we do every day! Doh-ho-ho-ho!
Careful which of @TheMuppets you heckle! Sure, they're all terrible, but some of them are giant, hungry monsters who haven't had lunch yet!
Friends don't let friends waste their time watching @TheMuppets. Unfortunately, we don't have any friends... so you'll have to do that for us!
We're taking a cue from #TheOscars and playing off anyone we think is talking too long. So far we've managed to last a minute and a half before playing the violins.
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