Thomas Calnan @ThomasJCalnan
Comedian, Winner of the 2016 Windsor Comedy Fest, Featured on CBC's Laugh Out Loud. My album - https://t.co/u5Z7x7Gm6j Toronto, Ontario Joined November 2015-
Tweets1K
-
Followers360
-
Following450
-
Likes1K
Apparently 'Las Vegas' means 'the meadows' in Spanish. That makes their slogan even creepier - "What happens in the meadows stays in the meadows..."
Every time I see a crossing guard I think to myself - “Just introduce the universal basic income already…’
Baths are boring. I believe that people who kill themselves in a bathtub do it simply because they are taking a bath.
I don't know what the slogan for Prince Edward Island is, but I think "Easy as P.E.I." would be excellent.
I need one of those breathalyzer ignition devices, but for Ubereats.
I've been learning french and I think I've worked out where the name 'poutine' comes from. 'Pou' - means 'poo', and 'Tine' - means 'never again'.
What do you call Nanaimo bars without the coconut? Delicious!
The Scoville scale for hot peppers sounds completely made up. "How hot is this one?" "JESUS! I DON'T KNOW?! A FUCKING MILLION! WHEN CAN I STOP EATING THESE?!"
Wore a pink shirt yesterday and someone told me that pink isn’t manly. What‽ My whole body is pink!
Thinking back to the things I said when coming down from the drugs after getting my four wisdom teeth out... "I should have had them remove my foot from my mouth too".
Taking a walk in Ottawa. Apparently I got here just in time for the dead tulip festival.
Things are very well named in Montreal. I went to the museum of fine arts. It was fine.
Sneak peek at Thursday May 25th featuring @justforlaughs vet @NickReynoldson plus great guests and fellow Just-For-Laughians @everydayjoemtl @MarMandrusiak @ThomasJCalnan @gabeomassi @lully514 & more! 8pm (to 9:30), $12/$6st, info/tix: comedynest.com
Kind of sad that Starbucks in Canada got rid of the 'True North' blend. My favourite thing was to go in, order a tall 'True North' and then ask: "Is the True North strong and free?" Then I'd laugh... Then they would... go get my coffee.
This Thursday to Saturday (May 25-27) catch @justforlaughs vet @NickReynoldson plus great guests and fellow Just-For-Laughians @everydayjoemtl @ThomasJCalnan @CRaajiee @DannyBoyBingham @MarMandrusiak @lully514 @gabeomassi @isabellegaumont & more! Info/tix comedynest.com
'May Contain Nudity' at Comedy Bar Danforth (2800 Danforth Avenue) this Sunday at 9:30 p.m. A stand-up show where the comedians are challenged to improv games, writing games... and possibly a bare bum or two. Tickets - comedybar.ca/shows/may-cont… @comedybar #Toronto
First 'May Contain Nudity' show Comedy Bar Danforth (2800 Danforth Avenue) this Sunday at 9:30 p.m. A stand-up show where the comedians are challenged to improv games, writing games... and possibly a bare bum or two. Tickets - comedybar.ca/shows/may-cont…… #toronto @comedybar
I want to die with a drink in my hand, so I can pour one out for myself as I pass away.
First 'May Contain Nudity' show Comedy Bar Danforth (2800 Danforth Avenue) this Sunday at 9:30 p.m. A stand-up show where the comedians are challenged to improv games, writing games... and possibly a bare bum or two. Tickets - comedybar.ca/shows/may-cont… #toronto
Hunter Collins 𖤐 �.. @Hunter_Collins
4K Followers 3K Following Feeder of human food to your dogs | @cbcdebaters | @ctvcomedy | @siriusxmcomedy 🇲🇩🇹🇲🇨🇿🇳🇵🇲🇳🇨🇩 ⬅️ these flags mean I’m a great person.
James O'Hara is on Th.. @JamesOHaraAF
598 Followers 480 Following
Nick Beaton @Nick_Beaton
2K Followers 774 Following NEW ALBUM OUT APRIL 1ST! Order here: https://t.co/tzUrLBcRFI Subscribe to my podcast Third Rail with Nick Beaton https://t.co/UDiEG0OBJT
Martha O'Neill @Martha_ONeill
2K Followers 1K Following Comedian, voice actor, Exec Producer @ SheDot Productions, giver of awkward hugs. You may recognize me from that thing that time.
Craig Fay @CraigFayComedy
2K Followers 952 Following Comedian, science guy, and host of @VWRPodcast. Sophomore comedy album "Performance Review" available now. (he/him)
AL VAL @ALVALcomedy
8K Followers 1K Following 🏳️⚧️ Trans comedian/musician/starlet from Toronto. My standup special "SO BRAVE" is coming out this JUNE! "PodGis" episodes out every Wednesday on YouTube!
Dan Rosen @dantheguyrosen
830 Followers 1K Following Game of Crohn's. Joe & Mary's Kid on Prime. Jewish comedian w/ #1 fart jokes. Silly Semites - Sun Mar 3rd 7pm - Comedy Bar Danforth
O$AP Rocky @TheAlanShane
4K Followers 2K Following comedian ~ writer - co-host of @cbcbakingshow • @22_minutes • second city alum • 4.91⭐️ Uber Rating
Todd Van Allen @heyitstva
4K Followers 3K Following Get albums "Really?" & "Butterflies", Dates & Videos: https://t.co/m113ATIsbs Host of @OSHOpod & @WriteEmUpShow (he/him)
🤠mike carrozza🤠 @mikecarrozza
3K Followers 2K Following stand-up comedian. Writer for @commandersherald and host of @amithebolcast
Comedy Nest @comedynest
5K Followers 2K Following Montreal's original comedy club, named top 15 in North America by Splitsider/Vulture, voted Montreal's Best in CultMtl's 2023 readers poll.
Fiona O’Brien @RealFionaO
5K Followers 3K Following Irish Comedian in Canada. I invented the McFlurry. Comedy Album ‘Magically Malicious’ 🇮🇪❤️🇨🇦On TikTok to annoy my teenagers. Verified by my Mother
Cathryn Naiker 💅�.. @itsme_cathryn
1K Followers 801 Following Screenwriter WGC, Late Bloomer, Comedy album I’m Your #1 Dad out now! Host of Buckets & Tea NBA Show @raptorsrepublic & The Pick Up WNBA Podcast (she/her)
Jennifer McAuliffe @JenniferJokes
18K Followers 8K Following mask enthusiast, comedy writer for hire @JFL @22minutes @readersdigestca @cbccomedy; iTunes #1 album Border Crossing. she/her Free all occupied people & places
Howl & Roar @howl_roar
699 Followers 1K Following Woman centric comedy record label that empowers artists in the creation and distribution of quality content. Amplifying voices in entertainment.
Absolute Comedy TOR @absolutecomedy
2K Followers 460 Following The comedy hot spot in uptown Toronto. Located at 2335 Yonge St.
🔥 Mari 🔥 @ZenMarii
179 Followers 2K Following Mad cause bad. she/her. bi. 29. Stanimation. Left/Socialist with an anime pfp cause i'm too ugly. don't @ me if you haven't seen Utena. The only Elsa stan
Kathlyn Hammon @hamm_kathl
53 Followers 5K Following
May Super @MaySuper464250
70 Followers 5K Following
Thalia Kukucka @ThaliKukucka
28 Followers 5K Following
Sherryl George @george_she79189
30 Followers 5K Following
Molly A @MollyA11680489
1 Followers 176 Following
Tyler Lane @TylerLane121885
190 Followers 2K Following Just a guy who is masculinc, chill, and down to earth looking for like minded guys. HMU...
BennyBauce @BennyBauce
391 Followers 1K Following Father- Comic- Tradesman- Cousin Benny BAUCE. Sounds like HOUSE, spelled like SAUCE #YEG, #YYC, #YXR, #YQR, #VYR he/him/dude/bro
Jokers Comedy Club @jokers905club
326 Followers 671 Following The GTA's newest comedy club and the only one in the 905! Not only featuring the best in stand up comedy but also magic, tribute artists, and variety!
Kyle Brownrigg @kylebrownrigg
836 Followers 259 Following Canadian Comedy Award Winner 🏆| Host of @bestactresspod | Managed: [email protected]
K Joy @KarenJMacD
312 Followers 443 Following Sagittarius, but not practicing. Cat whisperer. Person.
Curious Monk @CuriousMonk5
253 Followers 416 Following Really very, very curious… about most everything.
Mark Korakianitis @MarkKComedy
88 Followers 163 Following
Jason @jacenCAN
160 Followers 671 Following
DogLeashComedy @leash_dog
48 Followers 210 Following Canadian comic/producer. Weekly shows in Guelph. I bring the best comedians to stage, so audiences always leave happy
INTER-DAN-MENSIONAL (.. @INTERDANMENSION
82 Followers 122 Following INTER-DAN-MENSIONAL is Dan Galea's debut comedy album available everywhere April 1st 2023!
Amish Patel - Comedia.. @fadetobrown
2K Followers 4K Following 🏆Canadian Screen Award Winner 🏆🏆 2x Emmy Nomination (Applicant) Join my YouTube CONGREGATION 40k Strong! #linkinbio
INTER-DAN-MENSIONAL (.. @TheRealDanGalea
1K Followers 2K Following Producer/Comedian/DJ/Dreamweaver plus Actor. as seen on Kids in the hall, Baroness Von Sketch, True Dating Stories & The Amazing Gayl Pile
HaHaVeryFunny @kellyirwin72
17 Followers 6 Following
Himansu Patel @himansucomedy
302 Followers 1K Following
Canadian Comedy Hall .. @CanComedyHall
248 Followers 334 Following Comedy has always been one of our greatest exports and Canadians have always led the world in comedy. The CCHOF will be a place to honour those Comedy Legends!
Rob Carmona @RobCarmona
158 Followers 565 Following https://t.co/xnwMVZtAwt As far as I can tell, I think I'm the only person who's lost on #CashCab
Gay Tony Hinchcliffe @hinch_tony
14 Followers 119 Following The gay Tony Hinchcliffe. knees down comedian. “I love it”… not the real Tony Hinchcliffe. Just the one he wants to be.
rustynailcomedy @rustynailcomed1
188 Followers 150 Following Rusty Nail comedy club is located inDTK inside The Crazy Canuck DTK.WE are into comedy !!
Monty Scott @MontymofoScott
2K Followers 422 Following Comedian, Writer, Human animal. Also part of comedyrecords.ca
Chuck Byrn @chuckbyrn
694 Followers 654 Following I make things funny. I enjoy sandwiches. I have little interest in arguing with you. Some of these will be inside jokes but all may be enjoyed outside.
Where’s That Bar Ca.. @thatbarcart
86 Followers 264 Following A golf comedy podcast. ⛳️ Hosted by comedians @nickdurie @ginaphillips @montymofoscott & @dpurcomic. New episodes on Sundays.
Erica Rhodes @ericarhodes
137K Followers 147K Following I like the ocean & coffee. My second album, Ladybug out now on iTunes.
CLINT HEMSWORTH @ClintonClam
262 Followers 2K Following Clinton Haines is an Australian comedian in Toronto.
The Angry Starter @TheAngryStarter
659 Followers 5K Following With 20 years of experience working in the golf industry The Angry Starter has had enough. Golfers need to know what to stop doing at their local track.
Simone Holder @_simonecomedy_
550 Followers 1K Following 🇨🇦 she/her/elle. Ottawa comedian. 🏆WINNER 2022 PYAC Absolute Comedy Ottawa 🏆WINNER 2021 Yuk Yuk’s Ottawa MMSCC.
a close personal acqu.. @illfection
943 Followers 581 Following FREE BEER!!! BOOBS!!!! Now that I have your attention, there are no free beer and boobs in life. You need to get a job. Or just follow me?
Matthew Reames, PhD @matthew_reames
521 Followers 2K Following Mathematics educator, 5th grade math teacher, adjunct professor.
Tacharoo G @GTacharoo
51 Followers 191 Following Writer | Comedian | Amateur photographer | Free-Spirit
Clifford Myers @cliffordmyers
434 Followers 517 Following Comedian & Founder of The Other Comedy Company. Building a future that can take a joke. Sitting president of @canadianstandup.
Clare Belford @clarebelford
2K Followers 767 Following comedian (Just For Laughs, Halifax Comedy Festival, co-host of Better Times at Good Robot) with @comedyrecords
Hunter Collins 𖤐 �.. @Hunter_Collins
4K Followers 3K Following Feeder of human food to your dogs | @cbcdebaters | @ctvcomedy | @siriusxmcomedy 🇲🇩🇹🇲🇨🇿🇳🇵🇲🇳🇨🇩 ⬅️ these flags mean I’m a great person.
Allison Dore @allisondore
4K Followers 3K Following Host: @thebreakdown167 Mon-Fri 3-5 pm ET SiriusXM channel 167. Founder: Howl & Roar Records she/her
James O'Hara is on Th.. @JamesOHaraAF
598 Followers 480 Following
Nick Beaton @Nick_Beaton
2K Followers 774 Following NEW ALBUM OUT APRIL 1ST! Order here: https://t.co/tzUrLBcRFI Subscribe to my podcast Third Rail with Nick Beaton https://t.co/UDiEG0OBJT
Martha O'Neill @Martha_ONeill
2K Followers 1K Following Comedian, voice actor, Exec Producer @ SheDot Productions, giver of awkward hugs. You may recognize me from that thing that time.
Craig Fay @CraigFayComedy
2K Followers 952 Following Comedian, science guy, and host of @VWRPodcast. Sophomore comedy album "Performance Review" available now. (he/him)
Matt O'Brien @matt_obrien
22K Followers 966 Following Canadian 🇨🇦| Comedian | @SiriusXM Top Comic Winner | @TimeoutLA Comic To Watch| seen on @justforlaughs | Listen to @itwywpodcast
AL VAL @ALVALcomedy
8K Followers 1K Following 🏳️⚧️ Trans comedian/musician/starlet from Toronto. My standup special "SO BRAVE" is coming out this JUNE! "PodGis" episodes out every Wednesday on YouTube!
Dan Rosen @dantheguyrosen
830 Followers 1K Following Game of Crohn's. Joe & Mary's Kid on Prime. Jewish comedian w/ #1 fart jokes. Silly Semites - Sun Mar 3rd 7pm - Comedy Bar Danforth
O$AP Rocky @TheAlanShane
4K Followers 2K Following comedian ~ writer - co-host of @cbcbakingshow • @22_minutes • second city alum • 4.91⭐️ Uber Rating
Todd Van Allen @heyitstva
4K Followers 3K Following Get albums "Really?" & "Butterflies", Dates & Videos: https://t.co/m113ATIsbs Host of @OSHOpod & @WriteEmUpShow (he/him)
🤠mike carrozza🤠 @mikecarrozza
3K Followers 2K Following stand-up comedian. Writer for @commandersherald and host of @amithebolcast
Meg "Entertainment" M.. @megmackaycomedy
1K Followers 938 Following My album "CLOWN BABY" is now available on howl and roar records. please clap.
Comedy Nest @comedynest
5K Followers 2K Following Montreal's original comedy club, named top 15 in North America by Splitsider/Vulture, voted Montreal's Best in CultMtl's 2023 readers poll.
Fiona O’Brien @RealFionaO
5K Followers 3K Following Irish Comedian in Canada. I invented the McFlurry. Comedy Album ‘Magically Malicious’ 🇮🇪❤️🇨🇦On TikTok to annoy my teenagers. Verified by my Mother
Jokers Comedy Club @jokers905club
326 Followers 671 Following The GTA's newest comedy club and the only one in the 905! Not only featuring the best in stand up comedy but also magic, tribute artists, and variety!
Kyle Brownrigg @kylebrownrigg
836 Followers 259 Following Canadian Comedy Award Winner 🏆| Host of @bestactresspod | Managed: [email protected]
K Joy @KarenJMacD
312 Followers 443 Following Sagittarius, but not practicing. Cat whisperer. Person.
Mark Korakianitis @MarkKComedy
88 Followers 163 Following
DogLeashComedy @leash_dog
48 Followers 210 Following Canadian comic/producer. Weekly shows in Guelph. I bring the best comedians to stage, so audiences always leave happy
Sorted Food @sortedfood
184K Followers 940 Following We’re on a mission to become awesome home cooks… Join in the chat, but don’t speak with your mouth full.
INTER-DAN-MENSIONAL (.. @INTERDANMENSION
82 Followers 122 Following INTER-DAN-MENSIONAL is Dan Galea's debut comedy album available everywhere April 1st 2023!
Amish Patel - Comedia.. @fadetobrown
2K Followers 4K Following 🏆Canadian Screen Award Winner 🏆🏆 2x Emmy Nomination (Applicant) Join my YouTube CONGREGATION 40k Strong! #linkinbio
INTER-DAN-MENSIONAL (.. @TheRealDanGalea
1K Followers 2K Following Producer/Comedian/DJ/Dreamweaver plus Actor. as seen on Kids in the hall, Baroness Von Sketch, True Dating Stories & The Amazing Gayl Pile
HaHaVeryFunny @kellyirwin72
17 Followers 6 Following
Himansu Patel @himansucomedy
302 Followers 1K Following
Mark McNally @DuderMcNarly
386 Followers 1K Following I work on tv & movies, tell jokes but mostly bitch about wrestling
Canadian Comedy Hall .. @CanComedyHall
248 Followers 334 Following Comedy has always been one of our greatest exports and Canadians have always led the world in comedy. The CCHOF will be a place to honour those Comedy Legends!
Rob Carmona @RobCarmona
158 Followers 565 Following https://t.co/xnwMVZtAwt As far as I can tell, I think I'm the only person who's lost on #CashCab
Blackball Comedy @blblcomedy
647 Followers 2K Following Comedy shows with a vengeance MONTHLY @Falls Road on Victoria | 😷 #CanadaProud #CanadianComedy
EastEnd Comedy Revue @TheDukeComedy
130 Followers 439 Following
John_and_tonic @nuche_john
346 Followers 885 Following Unprofessional comedian and funnyman. Guitar player extraordinaire.
rustynailcomedy @rustynailcomed1
188 Followers 150 Following Rusty Nail comedy club is located inDTK inside The Crazy Canuck DTK.WE are into comedy !!
SiriusXM Canada @siriusxmcanada
20K Followers 2K Following #GETCLOSER TO WHAT MOVES YOU Music, Sports, Talk, and Podcasts 👇🏽Download the new SiriusXM app in the link below👇🏽
Chuck Byrn @chuckbyrn
694 Followers 654 Following I make things funny. I enjoy sandwiches. I have little interest in arguing with you. Some of these will be inside jokes but all may be enjoyed outside.
Drew Fox @drewfoxxbiz.. @DrewFoxXBIZ
1K Followers 2K Following News Desk Manager/Reporter at @XBIZ. Writer, comic, punk rock star. Opinions are mine, except the ones I steal from smarter people. News tips: [email protected]
The Angry Starter @TheAngryStarter
659 Followers 5K Following With 20 years of experience working in the golf industry The Angry Starter has had enough. Golfers need to know what to stop doing at their local track.
Simone Holder @_simonecomedy_
550 Followers 1K Following 🇨🇦 she/her/elle. Ottawa comedian. 🏆WINNER 2022 PYAC Absolute Comedy Ottawa 🏆WINNER 2021 Yuk Yuk’s Ottawa MMSCC.
a close personal acqu.. @illfection
943 Followers 581 Following FREE BEER!!! BOOBS!!!! Now that I have your attention, there are no free beer and boobs in life. You need to get a job. Or just follow me?
Saturday Night Live -.. @nbcsnl
3.4M Followers 694 Following The official X of Saturday Night Live. Watch on @nbc and @peacock. Streaming next day on Peacock.
Where’s That Bar Ca.. @thatbarcart
86 Followers 264 Following A golf comedy podcast. ⛳️ Hosted by comedians @nickdurie @ginaphillips @montymofoscott & @dpurcomic. New episodes on Sundays.
Monica Hamburg @monicahamburg
5K Followers 5K Following Comedian + @hamburgpresents. #Pornomedy #Craigslost & more. Promise: no tweets re: what I've eaten unless I've been hospitalized for food poisoning.
ChrisProuse @ChrisProuse
801 Followers 724 Following Filmmaker, outdoor YouTuber: https://t.co/hvHjbdRrch, avid skier, cyclist, canoe paddler, triathlete and 2x Ironman triathlon finisher. '07 UWO Econ alum.
Clifford Myers @cliffordmyers
434 Followers 517 Following Comedian & Founder of The Other Comedy Company. Building a future that can take a joke. Sitting president of @canadianstandup.
Corhar @Corhar4
2K Followers 2K Following Comedian living on the East Coast/Aspiring Voice Actor /Grandson of Cedric Sneer
Andrew Barr @AndrewBarrComic
293 Followers 455 Following Canadian comic, actor, moron. Toronto-based. Seen on CBC and MTV. For bookings, follow the link:
Mike Wood @funnyonceaday
828 Followers 4K Following DORMANT ACCOUNT -- Comedian, beekeeper, mathdork. Somedays I catch a cabbage on my head.
Fake Doctors @FakeDoctors
8K Followers 13 Following Scrubs co-stars and real-life best friends Zach Braff and Donald Faison host a weekly comedy podcast where they relive the hit TV show! Unofficial fan account.
Canadian Star System .. @canadianstarpod
1K Followers 4K Following Canadian celebs shine the spotlight on people THEY think should be stars. Hosted by Steve Patterson @Patterballs and his producer Diana Frances @dianafrancesvan
CanadianLitChick🇨�.. @ConnieLukey
26K Followers 23K Following I am Pavlov's Hashtag dog. Mother of boys, passionate reader, writer, funny fitness fanatic, CPA. Happily married and older than dirt.
Williams Hirsch Talen.. @williamshirsch_
36 Followers 39 Following Williams Hirsch Talent Management is a boutique management and talent agency specializing in professional comedians, live events, actors, and writers.My daughter is home from her first year at university….she has discovered Cat Stevens, Neil Young and has diagnosed me with OCD
Life can be lonely. Keep focusing on your mission.
My son made me laugh while I was trying to be serious. I usually don't smile in pics. Too many years of being told "don't squint or smile too much or you will get wrinkles." I guess it is time to stop caring.
I went on a 4 day 3 night solo canoe camping trip that was amazing that turned into an emergency 4th character-buildingly disastrous night
BRAG ABOUT SOMETHING YOU’RE PROUD OF ACCOMPLISHING IN 2023 ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
To all the comedians training at martial arts: I have a gun.
My fiancé and her bachelorette party came to Comedy Bar tonight. The future husband in me is so happy to see it, but the comic in me is praying they leave.
NIGHT ONE WAS HUGE GET YOURSELF TICKETS TO NIGHT TWO
Welcome to dating in your 40s there are men of value left out there, but they’re VERY indecisive
Whenever I introduce a foreigner to all-dressed chips and they aren’t blown away to my liking, I start wishing whatever horrible despot they escaped imprisons their loved ones.
Wish me luck, everybody! #summerChallenge
Wisdom teeth have reached a point where they’re affecting my head game so they gotta go
HAPPY CANADA D’EH! My new comedy album THAT’S WHAT BEING CANADIAN’S ALL ABOUT! is now available for the price of a double-double and a donut! #Canada #CanadaDay #CanadianComedy #CanadaLaughs
TW: Happy C*nada Day weekend! Hope we get some phat turnouts at Yuk Yuk’s Burlington this weekend where I’ll be decolonizing bowels with @Nick_Beaton and @chuckbyrn! #canadaday #mapey #canadaday🇨🇦 #canadadayweekend #decolonize #canadianflag #1867CanSlobOnMyDingDong
My sweet McGoo, aka @Kathleen_McGee kicked cancer’s ass once, so he got some friends and came back. But cancer doesn’t know who he’s up against. We’re raising money to help Kathleen pay her rent so she can focus on the fight. Every little bit helps! gofund.me/bb6d938d
I’m emceeing the post-trans-March show tonight at Dundas and Church tonight at 9! THIS IS EPIC COME PARTY
The very nice and very tall @GaryGulman
Feeling grateful today for the folks who where there for me when I needed a dad the most.
Trends for United States
You might like
