Ben McKain @benjer87
the funniest things in my head, objectively Louisville, KY Joined November 2011-
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Chick Fil A is probably extra closed on Easter Sunday
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More people should be more embarrassed when a simple question has to be repeated after they failed to answer it the first time.
I just realized there was something for which I did not already have a spreadsheet. Shortest realization ever.
The Frankenstein movie was released 7 days after Halloween.
Della, drawing a family portrait: Dad, your head is going to be so big. Me: Why?? Della: Because you’re so strong. Me: Oh, thanks! That’s cool. Della: Also, you’re going to be in a wheelchair. Me: A wheelchair?! Why??? Della: Because I can’t draw your legs.
Our dogs do not give one single eff about daylight savings.
For Christmas I’m asking for Norton Healthcare gift cards.
Chik Fil A sends me app notifications on Sunday… a cruel gesture from a company I wish I hated.
Just got home from work and realized I wore my black shoes, black socks, black watch, brown belt, and black sweater.
If I were to say “men’s restrooms in Cracker Barrel used to be on the left not the right…” on exactly how many levels would I sound old?
After I buy something from an ad, I think that ad should stop showing up in my feed. They already won… no need to gloat.
Me after 10 seconds of scrubbing: Well that’s part of the bottom of the pan now.
“Did the girls really eat all of the fruit snacks already?!” -Kelsey, probably, once she sees the empty box of fruit snacks
Family Membership to the Louisville Zoo #giveaway #win kingsumo.com/g/a1clpa/famil…
Me: *pretending to sleep* Leo: Daddy wake up! Me: *snores louder* Leo: Daddy, Della has your headphones! Me: DELLA where are you honey?? Leo: hahahahaha Me: Me: were you joking? Leo: yes!!! hahahaha
Imagine if Joker 2 features Joaquin Phoenix with a French accent.
My new rule is that politicians who text me get zero votes.
Right now dogwood trees are stunningly gorgeous and smell like fresh farts.
Charlotte Carpenter @CharlotteCkz
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Nooneighsm @nooneighsm17192
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Kelly Dues Taliaferro @tollivertravels
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Renee Boyer @ReneeBo85127737
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@chadh76 @chadh76
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RShort5 @r_short5
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Matt Bartram @UK_barty32
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Jack Brannen @jackbrannen
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Improv_502 @improv_502
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Quinton Hooks @salukirecguy
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Kyla Flodberg @KFlodberg
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Austin Wofford @AustinWofford_
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Zúme Multiplying Dis... @zumecommunity
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Chris Ball @cballchris
85 Followers 189 Following Husband, Father, Sales Manager. Jesus Follower. Lover of Michigan football and high quality meats. I love that my job allows me to be a difference maker!
Doug Toups @dtoups1
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Rose short @Roseshort15
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A$apWinner @Asapchia
235 Followers 280 Following Let purpose supersede the discomfort. Own your essence and your likeness
✝️ 🇺🇲 Jon L... @Jonnyabcde
79 Followers 519 Following Christian, husband, dog's stand-in father figure, analyst, lifesaver, punster.
Eddie Flodberg @EddieFlodberg
47 Followers 478 Following Proud Dad of three great kids and amazing wife. Boilermaker, Cubs, Red Wings, Bears, Golf, Bourbon.
Michael J. Chanley @michaeljchanley
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Roger Short @RogerShort
422 Followers 500 Following CVO, LASTING MARK. Host, Life Insurance Academy Podcast. Helping others achieve a life of significance & financial independence @lifeinsureacad
Swaggy @SwaggySales
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LaurenGilleyRealtor @LGilleyRealtor
35 Followers 89 Following I am a full time REALTOR with 4 years experience, native Lexingtonian, wife, and mom of 3! I'm an effective communicator, loyal, hard working, love to have fun!
Team Expansion @teamexpansion
866 Followers 246 Following multiplying disciples and churches among the unreached
ree mcmullen @ReeMcMullen
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Indifferent Pete @indifferentpete
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Marie Larke @marlorxd13
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Thomas @TUlm84
28 Followers 65 Following
Anywhere but Here @contentedreader
78 Followers 244 Following I write Anywhere but Here, a short monthly list of reading recommendations for comfort reading and escape reading. She/her/whatever.
Jim Jonas @goatmilkjim
7K Followers 5K Following I've been blessed with a wife (@goatmilkstuff), + 8 children, as well as a profitable barnful of dairy goats, and good soap. That's why I spend time on X.
Brett Jonas @BrettJonasWerst
2K Followers 335 Following I'm a romance author, @GoatMilkStuff kid, and @Ch1Con person who's addicted to chocolate and HEAs. Married to Mason and Mom to the #WerstKidsEver!![Ordinary girl, extraordinary opportunity;
[and she's T A K I N G it] one standby flight at a time.
✈️❤️](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/562095031708692481/14fFYHG4.jpeg)
Naomi Burger @STANDBYliving
19 Followers 85 Following Ordinary girl, extraordinary opportunity; [and she's T A K I N G it] one standby flight at a time. ✈️❤️
Tyler McKenzie @wtmckenzie
2K Followers 736 Following Pastor at Northeast Christian. Jesus is why. #lovetheVille
Kelly Perkins @kellylbarker1
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Maddie Wofford @maddiepierce627
205 Followers 260 Following Beloved. Adventure Enthusiast. Dreamer. Boundless pursuer of all things glory filled. Proud wife to my love, Austin James.
Loletuth Kalz @loletuthK
45 Followers 57 Following Associate Pastor at Christ Church United Methodist. Mother. Wife. Lover of Jesus. Learning to balance it all!
My Info @bf5171f0c043476
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Ron's State Farm @ronssf
20 Followers 183 Following Ron Haendiges State Farm, providing insurance and banking, FREE QUOTES!
Zaxby's Lexington @zaxbyslex
143 Followers 436 Following Feeding Lexington indescribably good chicken since 2007! Join us at any Lexington and Georgetown location today! GO CATS!
Bayou Bluegrass @BayouBluegrass
239 Followers 432 Following Bayou Bluegrass Catering is a Lexington, Kentucky based catering service offering full service Catering and Event Planning Services.
Logan Faulkner @CoachLogan427
81 Followers 348 Following Sinner saved by grace, grew up in the country, lumberjack, outdoorsman, motocross, archer and a carpenter
Svacaana @zanetapalma581
145 Followers 813 Following Los suenos no desaparecen siempre que las personas no los abandonen.
Pastor Bob Margaron @bobmargaron
129 Followers 189 Following Giving Faith, Hope, and Love to Inner-city Children, Youth, and Their Families.
Nathan W Pyle @nathanwpyle
263K Followers 3K Following Married to @tayloralexypyle / #1 NYT Bestseller: Strange Planet / NYT Bestseller: NYC Basic Tips and Etiquette / formerly @BuzzFeed / I follow Jesus
ᴅᴀᴠɪᴅ ᴡʜ�... @rundavidrun
2K Followers 4K Following Refactor. Keep your code clean. Share code. Be cool.
Kyla Flodberg @KFlodberg
6 Followers 205 Following
jordan @jordan_stratton
14K Followers 1K Following Probably needs to drink more water today. Editor @thedad | [email protected]
Katie Robertson @KRob730
78 Followers 196 Following Small town KY girl living in the big city of Atlanta. Wife. Sister. Friend. Mom to 2 boys and 2 dogs. Christ follower.
Quinton Hooks @salukirecguy
3 Followers 654 Following Recreational Therapist who works with veterans to aid in their reintegration back into the civilian world.
Samantha Verissimo @Its_Vmo
202 Followers 550 Following Indiana Girl-Born & Raised. Dallas living ✌Sports. Cheer. Tyler Hansbrough. UNC, Colts, Pacers & Purdue. #TeamAU ❤
Andy @andrew_12_smith
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Mark Rawlings @Sparkplugg24
92 Followers 269 Following
Lauren House Smith @Laurenjh85
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Martin W @MartinsTweets78
20 Followers 40 Following Father to three great kids. Husband to Julie. Brother. Son. Friend. I grew up in Germany & now live in America.
SamWise ❌ @samueljpurcell
105 Followers 420 Following
Emily Casada Hammons @ecasada
115 Followers 160 Following Writer -- Speaker of Sarcasm -- Only 25% serious at any given moment. Wife of @REALjoshhammons
Abe Parker @AbeParker1
1K Followers 839 Following I write songs and make paper swans. “Last First Kiss” - out now!
Joel Sellers @JoelSellers
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Kelly Perkins @kellylbarker1
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Naomi Burger @STANDBYliving
19 Followers 85 Following Ordinary girl, extraordinary opportunity; [and she's T A K I N G it] one standby flight at a time. ✈️❤️
LaurenGilleyRealtor @LGilleyRealtor
35 Followers 89 Following I am a full time REALTOR with 4 years experience, native Lexingtonian, wife, and mom of 3! I'm an effective communicator, loyal, hard working, love to have fun!
Michael J. Chanley @michaeljchanley
8K Followers 8K Following Coming soon: "Hope & Honeybees - lessons of faith from a local beekeeper." Sign up for more information at https://t.co/dqMwPbLHiD
✝️ 🇺🇲 Jon L... @Jonnyabcde
79 Followers 519 Following Christian, husband, dog's stand-in father figure, analyst, lifesaver, punster.
Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack
1.6M Followers 755 Following 9 years in the NFL. 2 rings. #9years2rings
Jeremy Rauch @FOX19Jeremy
29K Followers 557 Following God is great, sports are good and I'm kinda crazy. I also don't like Avatar. Instagram: https://t.co/g4JG8vlEud Facebook: https://t.co/b95zqPHLT4
Zilla @GoodZiIIa
8K Followers 29 Following
Ron Bradley @ronbradley4
30 Followers 180 Following Administrator/Co-Owner-EQuin Music LLC, Retired Service Specialist-Marriott International
Kumail Nanjiani @kumailn
2.5M Followers 3K Following I didn’t pay for twitter blue. My new special Night Thoughts is out NOW on @hulu.
Austin Wofford @AustinWofford_
407 Followers 213 Following Husband to Maddie + Co-Lead of Arise hc network + Design Team of Awakening Project + Author of Forged: Young Adults and the Renewal of the Church
Taylor Collingsworth @tbcollingsworth
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Garth Collins @Voiceofgarth
9K Followers 580 Following https://t.co/Pyz91JQojQ The voice heard around the world and down the street from the wintry woods of Western Canada.
Ben Rosen @Rosen
10K Followers 3K Following a decent follow 🎷 internet enthusiast 👕 part time shirt maker
Adrienne Feldmann @acfeldmann
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rob from online 📱 @robfromonline
12K Followers 537 Following online idiot | fighting a perpetual feud w/ the creator of the universe | president & official spokesperson of the unofficial @HelloJessicaFox fan club | he/him
Bess Kalb @bessbell
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Beth Moore @BethMooreLPM
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Jeremy Boles @TheLopeman
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Tom Segura AKA Mr. La... @tomsegura
940K Followers 1K Following I have 4 specials on Netflix. podcast here: https://t.co/4uUwz2QOkf You can Merch up here: https://t.co/KaSVm44S8AYou might like
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