Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack
I can identify every single key on a piano. michaelianblack.substack.com Joined February 2009-
Tweets26K
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Followers1.8M
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Following816
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Likes27K
One of my smarter Twitter decisions was not opining very much on Israel/Hamas. Good job, Michael.
Erica's a goddamned treat. Go see her tell her jokes!
Literally one of the least funny public figures I've ever encountered. Has no discernible sense of humor other than repackaging cruelty as "comedy."
Literally one of the least funny public figures I've ever encountered. Has no discernible sense of humor other than repackaging cruelty as "comedy."
I remember learning about American history and the need to separate ourselves from an unaccountable monarch who could do whatever he wanted because, essentially, immunity.
Ugh, it sucks when you've been indicted so many times in so many jurisdictions that you have to show up for your criminal trial instead of your absurd blanket immunity hearing.
I wrote about enjoying the Trump trial, even though I think the enjoyment will be short-lived. open.substack.com/pub/michaelian…
I don't know, if you and all your friends keep getting indicted for shit, maybe the problem is you and all your friends?
A few people got mad at me for this.
If ONE white woman accused me of rape my career would be OVER. A white man accused of rape by TWENTY SIX women facing 91 criminal indictments being the presidential nominee of one of the two major parties and running for a 2nd term as POTUS, with 90% of evangelical ‘Christians’…
the "stand-up comedians over 35 who don't wanna keep posting clips" lobby is far more powerful than you could have ever imagined
the "stand-up comedians over 35 who don't wanna keep posting clips" lobby is far more powerful than you could have ever imagined
A NEW TWIST! May 16th, @RISKshow is live at @caveatnyc, where 3 RISK! storytellers will share stories on the theme “Bad Behavior!” After the intermission, we’ll pick 3 members of the audience to share their 5-minute “Bad Behavior!” stories as well! Tix at Risk-Show.com/live
LA riots were in 1992. Clearly, we didn't all get along just fine.
LA riots were in 1992. Clearly, we didn't all get along just fine.
Great article about #DiaperDon aka #tRumpDiapers. Should win #tRumpArticleOfTheWeek, #StinkyJournalism #MAGASWearDiapers.
Great article about #DiaperDon aka #tRumpDiapers. Should win #tRumpArticleOfTheWeek, #StinkyJournalism #MAGASWearDiapers.
My pitch to Trump: "If there’s one important lesson you’ve taught me, it’s that we should never let personal grievances, ethics, or the law stand in the way of a good business opportunity." thedailybeast.com/michael-ian-bl…
New book alert with my favorite collaborator, @inkyelbows!
New book alert with my favorite collaborator, @inkyelbows!
I wrote about a YUGE business opportunity. thedailybeast.com/michael-ian-bl…
My wife told me I have Alan Alda hair. But here's the twist: she didn't mean it as a compliment!
Hate to disagree, but I would pay Trump more than that amount not to have sex with me.
Hate to disagree, but I would pay Trump more than that amount not to have sex with me.
What's going to happen when he has to sit in meetings at the White House all day? Sounds like he's not up for the job. Not good. Very sad.
What's going to happen when he has to sit in meetings at the White House all day? Sounds like he's not up for the job. Not good. Very sad.
Andy Richter @AndyRichter
1.0M Followers 2K Following @richtercommaandy on Instagram and Threads, Podcast: The Three Questions. And new Sirius XM Call-in show, link below for callersPaul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins
1.2M Followers 3K Following TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies Instagram: https://t.co/OWAlzVWjleGeorge Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace
865K Followers 4K Following The Official George Wallace Twitter. Trying to serve it up with hot sauce for you. God bless.david cross✍ @davidcrosss
299K Followers 953 Following Stream my newest special WORST DADDY IN THE WORLD at https://t.co/nDD8NpUZjy. Subscribe to my new podcast at https://t.co/Cf1GByCX76marc maron @marcmaron
880K Followers 507 Following I am a comic, actor, feral cat wrangler, writer & host of WTF the podcast.Megan Amram @meganamram
1.0M Followers 4K Following it's this weird, sexual, anti-comedy comedy that's 'in' right now. - my momDoug Benson @DougBenson
722K Followers 711 Following Free podcasts: @DougLovesMovies & @WIDEWORLD0DOUGS GDWH on Patreon for only $4.20/month. https://t.co/h5TSWUbCfz https://t.co/mFxyG8qFq1 for tour datesLaurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.Frank Conniff @FrankConniff
76K Followers 6K Following Writer, Comedian, TV's Frank | Author of 10 Books https://t.co/3XczIQUw45Scott Aukerman @ScottAukerman
266K Followers 181 Following Host of @ComedyBangBang. co-host of R U Talkin’ R.E.M. RE: ME & @threedomusa. Co-creator/Director of Between Two Ferns. Co-founded @earwolf.Paul Scheer @paulscheer
764K Followers 3K Following 📕Pre-Order My Book, “Joyful Recollections of Trauma” wherever books are sold. 🎧Listen to How Did This Get Made & Unspooled 📝 https://t.co/dSVJWA7lFYJames Urbaniak @JamesUrbaniak
110K Followers 3K Following Dr. Venture on The Venture Bros., Grant on Review, Arthur on Difficult People, Rolf on The Office. References available upon request.Dave Foley @DaveSFoley
204K Followers 2K Following I am selectively famous.I don’t respect your beliefs.Also,I don’t respect my beliefs. Podcast, Really?!. with Tom and Dave now available.Todd Barry @toddbarry
300K Followers 1K Following YouTube: DOMESTIC SHORTHAIR Netflix: SPICY HONEY Prime: THE CROWD WORK TOUR Book: THANK YOU FOR COMING TO HATTIESBURG https://t.co/AgBudWd5Ff & @ToddBarryPdcastMike Birbiglia @birbigs
630K Followers 2K Following My new standup special, The Old Man & The Pool, is available on Netflix. Currently on tour in a city near you.Kids in the Hall @KITHOnline
62K Followers 284 Following Official Twitter feed for legendary Canadian comedy troupe Kids in the Hall. New episodes streaming now on @PrimeVideoCA! #KidsintheHallKristen Schaal @kristenschaaled
898K Followers 1K Following Comedian,actress, she/her. https://t.co/F8dZfOVJrt thanks, Carlie Hoke for writing it.Meredith Salenger @MeredthSalenger
112K Followers 2K Following Actress ~ Writer ~ Producer 💖 Podcast "Did You Get My Text?" Podcast link: https://t.co/NsYGANo6jxVeronica K @fairydogtrainer
0 Followers 19 FollowingChristineFanny @63208E0reQ4rt1
1 Followers 140 FollowingMaggie Daugh @DaughMaggi1086
0 Followers 87 Following Hello evryone am a seleb and am a fimel if you lick to no a lot abut me messag me praivet and if you like to be one of my beg fan listing to new daulod sung....Endless Roaming @endless_roaming
68K Followers 44K Following Posting photos using various camera phones taken during my travels around the world. Happy to answer any questions.Tape Head @Brian___Wiggins
62 Followers 109 FollowingOwlChemist @LAudiosiris
302 Followers 563 Following Is That Your identity or an Idea Entity? Smartistic? Smarcastic? Why Not? Oh cuz you're 🤓𝙿𝙴𝚃𝙴𝚁 .. @ThePeterBriggs
2K Followers 1K Following Co-writer 2004 #Hellboy movie @WGAWest Screenwriter, TV writer, comic books, Amazon #1 best selling novelist. @ScriptreaderPro Consultant (Rep: Dench Agency UK)Justin Halstead @jhal_318
19 Followers 684 FollowingDavid T. Marsee @ECHO20241978
1 Followers 59 FollowingMatthew Lenihan @Revengerine_
0 Followers 33 Followingjab @jabuehrle
113 Followers 534 FollowingJay Rod @drtrojan79
416 Followers 4K FollowingLeah Owens @owens_leah22680
0 Followers 5 FollowingThat Funky Monkey @SubsonicMonkey
858 Followers 1K Following Mostly just talking to myself. Disregard.Heather Madore @MadoreHeat11695
0 Followers 5 FollowingZach Albrecht @zalbr001
6 Followers 16 FollowingEM Mary Darkey @EmryDarkey80182
2 Followers 39 FollowingAlex smile @fyvy16
2 Followers 130 FollowingCourtney Anderson @CourtneyAn4425
0 Followers 5 Following🌷Scarlett Tanager�.. @TanagerScarlett
1K Followers 1K Following We were given two hands, one to help ourselves and one to help others. If we all do a little a lot will get done. 🚫DMs or LISTS❤️🦊🐱🐴🦋🐕🦺🍄🐾❤️🛸👽🌝🌛Joel Green @GreenJoel7774
3 Followers 173 FollowingPatti Acurio @PattiAcurio
225 Followers 282 FollowingCartNiggGiant07 @CartNigg13011
0 Followers 11 FollowingNancy Mallinder @NMallinder12029
0 Followers 5 Following🏴☠️ Alex �.. @arichie_rich
521 Followers 2K Following GameStop 🎮🛑 Cat dad 🐈⬛ Engineer 📚 We're all star stuff🌟 Humanity is older than you were taught🧬🗿☄️Call Me Jerome @didntforseethat
322 Followers 642 Following // mutatio est universum; vita est quod fingit mens //Kim Rapp @KimRapp161776
0 Followers 5 FollowingCorey Cook @CoreyCook21258
0 Followers 4 FollowingWe Deserve Better @KristiJaneen
142 Followers 689 FollowingJohnny Amizich @jamizich
244 Followers 557 Following Dad | 1/3 of The Casual Hour | writer of fiction and for Hard Drive | On the lookout for any and all game devs with a story or project to share | DMs open.Nur Alom @NurAlom1877706
2 Followers 75 FollowingAbleSeaman @CaptainEric01
18 Followers 82 Following Sea Captain/Engineer and proud Dad to the most amazing kids, love my pup and rescue huskies. Here for news, country music and sports update.Mike Maher @MM_CHILL_
5 Followers 124 FollowingMatt Peterson @tweeterson
2K Followers 599 Following Manager of Publications at Methodist Health System in Dallas. Former Breaking News editor at The Dallas Morning News.Jan Marie Wilson @janBigW
295 Followers 1K Following web designer. horseplayer. birder. nature photographer. @janbigw on the insta. detroit. dallas. chicago. great fallsSandi McClure Daoust @Weedbike
6K Followers 6K Following 🚫DMs = Block! From Alameda, CA, Blue spec in Red UT & back to San Diego Co, CA😎 Feminist, Wife, Mom & Granny & 3 X Cancer SURVIVOR ! Recovering Catholic. ✌🏽Pyre_the_First @Pyre_the_first
840 Followers 3K Following John Brown / Hyperfocus / Hydrate / Paratrooper / Bad knees /water mania @waterwatermania
0 Followers 95 FollowingAndy Richter @AndyRichter
1.0M Followers 2K Following @richtercommaandy on Instagram and Threads, Podcast: The Three Questions. And new Sirius XM Call-in show, link below for callersPaul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins
1.2M Followers 3K Following TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies Instagram: https://t.co/OWAlzVWjleGeorge Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace
865K Followers 4K Following The Official George Wallace Twitter. Trying to serve it up with hot sauce for you. God bless.david cross✍ @davidcrosss
299K Followers 953 Following Stream my newest special WORST DADDY IN THE WORLD at https://t.co/nDD8NpUZjy. Subscribe to my new podcast at https://t.co/Cf1GByCX76marc maron @marcmaron
880K Followers 507 Following I am a comic, actor, feral cat wrangler, writer & host of WTF the podcast.Megan Amram @meganamram
1.0M Followers 4K Following it's this weird, sexual, anti-comedy comedy that's 'in' right now. - my momDoug Benson @DougBenson
722K Followers 711 Following Free podcasts: @DougLovesMovies & @WIDEWORLD0DOUGS GDWH on Patreon for only $4.20/month. https://t.co/h5TSWUbCfz https://t.co/mFxyG8qFq1 for tour datesLaurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.Scott Aukerman @ScottAukerman
266K Followers 181 Following Host of @ComedyBangBang. co-host of R U Talkin’ R.E.M. RE: ME & @threedomusa. Co-creator/Director of Between Two Ferns. Co-founded @earwolf.Paul Scheer @paulscheer
764K Followers 3K Following 📕Pre-Order My Book, “Joyful Recollections of Trauma” wherever books are sold. 🎧Listen to How Did This Get Made & Unspooled 📝 https://t.co/dSVJWA7lFYJames Urbaniak @JamesUrbaniak
110K Followers 3K Following Dr. Venture on The Venture Bros., Grant on Review, Arthur on Difficult People, Rolf on The Office. References available upon request.Dave Foley @DaveSFoley
204K Followers 2K Following I am selectively famous.I don’t respect your beliefs.Also,I don’t respect my beliefs. Podcast, Really?!. with Tom and Dave now available.Todd Barry @toddbarry
300K Followers 1K Following YouTube: DOMESTIC SHORTHAIR Netflix: SPICY HONEY Prime: THE CROWD WORK TOUR Book: THANK YOU FOR COMING TO HATTIESBURG https://t.co/AgBudWd5Ff & @ToddBarryPdcastMike Birbiglia @birbigs
630K Followers 2K Following My new standup special, The Old Man & The Pool, is available on Netflix. Currently on tour in a city near you.Kristen Schaal @kristenschaaled
898K Followers 1K Following Comedian,actress, she/her. https://t.co/F8dZfOVJrt thanks, Carlie Hoke for writing it.Meredith Salenger @MeredthSalenger
112K Followers 2K Following Actress ~ Writer ~ Producer 💖 Podcast "Did You Get My Text?" Podcast link: https://t.co/NsYGANo6jxGreg Sestero @gregsestero
58K Followers 1K Following Actor/ Writer/ Producer- The Room, The Disaster Artist, Miracle Valley, Best F(r)iends, Forbidden Sky 👽 link in bioJason Sands @JasonSa32135987
4K Followers 4 FollowingCourtney Marchesani @inspiredcreatv
4K Followers 4K Following Psychophysiology PhD Candidate currently studying NDEs and synchronous experiences. Author: Four Gifts of the Highly Sensitive, The Fifth Chamber, and others.Julia from Palmdale @JuliaInPalmdale
543 Followers 135 Following Devoted to my kids, bulldog, poker, and lawyering.Lynda Thompson🛸�.. @Lynda_Research
18K Followers 4K Following Investigative Researcher-Writer-Consultant.Ian Porritt - UAP Ana.. @ian_porritt
1K Followers 880 Following UAP UFO Analyst for Galileo Project & Scientific Coalition for UAP Studies Discovered exoplanets gravitational microlensing New Zealand AotearoaLiv Boeree @Liv_Boeree
254K Followers 494 Following Looking for the win/wins in life. Not a fan of Moloch traps. Brand new podcast out now, link below👇Reena Calm @ReenaCalm
4K Followers 1K Following ✨CALMEDY✨album out now!! Comedy has always been my dream, I don't care where it takes me. BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS, and please dream about me being successful 💚Donald Hoffman @donalddhoffman
39K Followers 26 Following Professor Emeritus of Cognitive Sciences at the University of California, Irvine. Research: Visual perception, evolutionary psychology, consciousness, AI.Elayne Animals & Come.. @ElayneBoosler
57K Followers 10K Following Comedian since 1885. Founder https://t.co/y6KEncNpJe. https://t.co/fvjbAgqppC https://t.co/upXECezIYa. https://t.co/tDCBLh9rwgVetted @VettedPodcast
2K Followers 0 Following We keep you in the loop with daily YouTube videos. Hosted By Patrick. 12 pm CST #ufos #aliensSavannah Bananas @TheSavBananas
199K Followers 640 Following We Make Baseball Fun. Fans First. Entertain Always. Banana Ball World Tour 💛 by @ZapposPeter Levenda @Peter_Levenda
8K Followers 299 FollowingBenjamin Carlson @bfcarlson
69K Followers 974 Following Ex-editor @TheAtlantic, ex-China journo @AFP. Comms director. Writing is an act of freedom.Michael Marshall Smit.. @ememess
34K Followers 5K Following And Michael Marshall, and Michael Rutger. Novelist, screenwriter, sitting place of cats, Creative Director of The Blank Corporation. Legacy verified.ashley ray🍦ice cre.. @theashleyray
64K Followers 3K Following tv writer/comedian/host of @tvisaypod. [email protected] reps: brillsteinDr. Michael P. Master.. @MorphoTime
13K Followers 11K Following Anthropology Professor. Author of Identified Flying Objects, The Extratempestrial Model, & Revelation. Musician, Painter, Skier, Dad, Progressive Pagan HeathenGary Peterson 🇺�.. @GaryPetersonUSA
57K Followers 333 Following Patriot. Bible Reader. Mall Santa. I like WOMEN! Bass player for our church band Shifty Nelson & The Dixieland Scooters, who puts America First.The Daily Beast @thedailybeast
1.4M Followers 1K Following Independent. Intelligent. Influential. Send tips to [email protected] Check out @beastobsessed, our new hub for pop-culture's moments, movies and shows!Hustler Casino Live @HCLPokerShow
53K Followers 511 Following Live stream poker show at @HustlerCasinoLA. Brought to you by @NickVertucciNV & @TheRyanFeldman. Watch Mon-Fri at 5pm PT on YouTube.James Hartigan @J_Hartigan
21K Followers 141 Following Team @PokerStars: Ambassador, Presenter & Commentator (TV shows, live streams, podcast). Watch guy. @49ers fan. Film nerd. @007 geek. Views are mine, all mine!Tracy Connor @TracyConnor
6K Followers 861 Following EIC, Daily Beast, by way of NBC, NYDN, NYP, UPI. Brooklynite. Roller derby mom. Graduate of Coney Island Sideshow School.gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
64K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coachTexas Space LLC @TexasSpacellc
85 Followers 20 Following Quantum physics research and innovation. https://t.co/Ms9cVNXTh4D.J. - BLM + Love LE @Call_All_Beings
2K Followers 2K Following DJ-USAF-Aerospace-The PhenomenonHuman Interaction. The opinions expressed herein are (D.J.) and are not reflective of any other person/organization. #SpacesHostAnjali @AnjaliOnGaia
10K Followers 124 Following Witness Former Pentagon DIA BAE USMC USAF SAC/ACC Veteran #Experiencer #Consciousness #Coherence #NHI #Transcendence #Source #WeAreOne #ufo𝕏 #Awaken #PodcastTheAnomalousLibrarian @AnomalyLibrary
2K Followers 1K Following 📚 Bibliophile 🛸 Researcher 👽 Grower of Space Chilis 🌶 Host: #UFOBookClub https://t.co/C3jsHWiCxn https://t.co/MVvmcPvUxSRichard Geldreich @richgel999
20K Followers 2K Following Co-founder of Binomial: open source GPU texture interchange. Previously: SpaceX Starlink, Ensemble (AoE), Valve (P2/DotA2/CSGO). UAP, anomalous phenomena.Jacques Keel @Fortean777
16K Followers 664 Following A Miner for a Heart of 💛Gold. #UAP Disclosure Advocate | Nuanced Frames of Reference.Tom (montalk.net) @TomMontalk
8K Followers 36 Following Hyperdimensional Counterintelligence ★ YouTube: https://t.co/1OqHFdnEKs ★ Telegram: https://t.co/Xy1ErJkm4m ★ Gab: https://t.co/1pSQhiwGJC ★ New Book: https://t.co/wmucHAuhMcChristopher Sharp @ChrisUKSharp
24K Followers 539 Following Founder/Editor-in-Chief of @LiberationTimes, Senior Contributing Journalist at @DailyMail. Based in London.Joe Murgia @TheUfoJoe
69K Followers 1K Following Chronicling info. on UFOs, UAP, consciousness, psi, life after death, Bengston Healing, precognition, remote viewing. Don't ignore data. https://t.co/r5CaCM9YTBMaya Benowitz 🌱 @cosmicfibretion
17K Followers 1K Following mathematical physicist lost in a liminal space of events to take humanity toward the singularity of knowledge. aspiring tardis engineer and time lord.Juan Feria @juanferia
768 Followers 1K Following Energetic and Positive! Tech consultant. Cybersecurity enthusiast. Seeker of knowledge. Ambassador to Earth. Love above all. 2024 US Congressional Candidate.edreamer @jamesotishare
118 Followers 493 Following co-founder @us2_ai, @eDreams_ODIGEO, cereal entrepreneur (love working at breakfast)Lily Newhouse @lilyanewhouse
1K Followers 998 Following Editor for Advance Local. Two WSOP Circuit 💍s and big plans to win my first bracelet in 2024 💁🏻♀️richard butt @conterammundi
8K Followers 476 Following Relentlessly seeking the answers to the 5Ws of UAP. Dragging this enigma into the sunlight. 🇺🇸 ⚓️Marc Evan Jackson @MarcEvanJackson
127K Followers 2K Following Brooklyn 9-9 • The Good Place • The Baby-Sitters Club • DuckTales • Jumanji • Kong:Skull Island • Kings of Summer • Parks & Rec • Finding 'Ohana • Sparks NevadaNikki Limo @NikkiLimo
40K Followers 2K Following Very serious person. I poker. I podcasts @aceholespod @onlyfriends_pod https://t.co/zeUDAjYID8 I commentates @ballylivepoker I YouTube https://t.co/rb8acjsCATRogue UAPTF @RogueUAPTF
10K Followers 679 Following Nonpartisan strategic advocacy for #UAP awareness. #UFOTwitterDarren King (ExoAcade.. @ExoAcademian
13K Followers 173 Following Director of Development & Communications @ John Mack Institute, podcaster @ PoC, LP & EH, founder of https://t.co/y9slYJfcVA. https://t.co/LLWEBqI1ZvJohn Ganz @lionel_trolling
41K Followers 2K Following dottore, ingegnere, avvocato When the Clock Broke: Con Men, Conspiracists, and How America Cracked Up in the Early 1990s — coming June 2024 from @fsgbooksRobert Salas @keptycho
26K Followers 2K Following Advocate for UAP Transparency as a witness, writer, and public speaker.Jennifer Shahade @JenShahade
33K Followers 4K Following 2x US Women chess champ, @PokerStars pro Writing: https://t.co/1mxTwjIC4U https://t.co/AwlTMSTPar Inquiries: [email protected]Whitley Strieber @WhitleyStrieber
33K Followers 362 Following If I was an intelligent machine, I would deceive you.Zillow Gone Wild 🏡 @zillowgonewild
619K Followers 10 Following join the zillionaires 🏡. email me wild homes: [email protected]. Subscribe to the Zillow Gone Wild newsletter to never miss a wild home 👇Aww thank you Michael. I’ll never forget that you drove me around the Irvine parking lot for 2 hours to find my car! Hope you’re great.
Erica's a goddamned treat. Go see her tell her jokes!
Go Cubs. 3 shows at the Chicago theater this weekend. See u there. Tickets at Birbigs.com 🧢⚾️
Excited for @TheOnion to be officially sold and not working for the empty-headed clown of a CEO we had to work under. Here’s the reply he sent when he was told that I was leaving for a new job:
@michaelianblack Also this is a very old joke structure that 100% someone on his team suggested.
@michaelianblack "Because a nation of dingdongs keeps electing fuckwits." Truer words were never uttered.
@michaelianblack but i did everything right!
the "stand-up comedians over 35 who don't wanna keep posting clips" lobby is far more powerful than you could have ever imagined
Biden has signed the bill requiring TikTok to be sold or banned in the U.S.
That new book smell, though. #icurseyouwithjoy out May 7th.
.@MATEScast @michaelianblack This would be a perfect re-entry to the podcast.
@michaelianblack But the OJ trial brought us all back together again
I'm just saying, if there's an Odie spin-off, they better knock on my door.
@michaelianblack Didn’t Fuck Tha Police come out in the 80s?
@stephenbaze @MariaHo @jeffplatt @BuffaloHanks Do not tell anyone I was nice! #PokerBrat
@michaelianblack well at a gig recently a woman told me I looked like none other than musk, and I think the b*tch did mean it as a compliment
@Iheartsmegma1 @michaelianblack A modest proposal: