Eli @elihuxtable

https://t.co/OTGoiPaMAV instagram.com/kunst.schmeckt… New Jersey, USA Joined April 2010

Tweets

192
Followers

21
Following

176
Likes

2K

Eli @elihuxtable

3 years ago

I wear different animal shirts based on where the moon is and my menstrual cycle.

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Tim Sniffen @MisterSniffen

3 years ago

Those of you avoiding #BuzzLightyear are doing the right thing. I saw it in a theater last night and I’m still processing my horrifying experience.

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Eli @elihuxtable

3 years ago

Stop pouring into people who don't pour into you.

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Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End, etc @JasonKPargin

4 years ago

For doing WHAT to Chris Rock onstage? When did this happen???

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He Called Me Greenhorn @WhatsAGreenhorn

4 years ago

Her skin was like porcelain. Toiletface, they called her.

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Eli @elihuxtable

4 years ago

Broken window theory works with hearts too... and kind of everything else. What happened to the vacuum repairmen? The highly respected TV repairman of days gone past? Idfk I guess just get a new one.

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xanax in cinnabon (ali) @xanabon

4 years ago

if you ask me to go on a walk with you I will always say yes. I am an absolute glutton for a strut, literally obsessed with going on a little fucking stroll and lollygagging about! I’m always on the prowl for a promenade! a slut for a saunter and ambling around like a fool!

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Eli @elihuxtable

4 years ago

Whenever two or more are gathered in my name, I am there.

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Sridhar Ramesh @RadishHarmers

4 years ago

You're not supposed to drink water. It makes you pee. Listen to your body. It's trying desperately to get rid of it.

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Eli @elihuxtable

4 years ago

Waving goodbye 'til you can't see the car any more. Then for a lifetime.

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Eli @elihuxtable

4 years ago

Looking for dad love in all the wrong places.

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Eli @elihuxtable

4 years ago

Your pain is the price you pay to make someone else feel better.

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Eli @elihuxtable

4 years ago

You see what happens, Larry?! *smashes windshield* You see what happens??! This is what happens *smashes headlights* this is what happens when you feed a ferret scrambled eggs!!!!