Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

Joined January 2023

Tweets

164
Followers

37
Following

82
Likes

486

Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

Ok I'm finally leaving twitter or X or what the heck ever it's called byeeeeeeeee

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

Having a crush on a man is so embarrassing

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

When we poop it's like we're laying rly gross eggs. I shouldn't have smoked a j this morning.

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

Imagine being a woman and only ever getting close with any male comic who claims to be a headliner, but ignoring the hilarious women we have here working just as hard if not harder. Ugh. Comedy rly brings out the worst in people. Love it.

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

Who needs sex when I can just fuck myself over and over with standup

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

The moon is making me horny

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

*me looking for twitter on my phone* Where tf is it.. ohhhh right there was that change.. wait what tf is this new fashion app that downloaded on my phone? Oh, it's new twitter.

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

It's hard to be a hot girl with feelings

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James Tanford @JTanford

2 years ago

Me when I’m told to do something but not given clear and specific step by step instructions

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

New animorph just dropped

out of context dogs @contextdogs

2 years ago

New animorph just dropped

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

Doing comedy before 7pm should be against the law

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

I always forget how honest male comics are about their sex life, this is excluding when they mention they're really good at eating pussy.

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

People need to stop being so nice to me today it's very gay and I do NOT appreciate it a whole bunch

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

Sooooo can I get a friends with benefits where u cuddle me all night and then we act chill next time we see each other? I wanna cum from the heart

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

An apple a day keeps the doctor away but what about two uncrustables a day for 3 weeks straight what does that do

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Gretchen Schultz @grep_schultz

2 years ago

"why does everyone hate me?" I don't know maybe bc you never take accountability and you are constantly thinking everyone hates you instead of taking a step back and asking what you can improve about yourself that would maybe prevent so many people from disliking you.