Jesse Popp @jessepopp
I am a high school graduate with one bowling trophy. open.spotify.com/album/04xzbiJr… Michigan, USA Joined March 2009-
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My cats ignoring me all day and then wanting me to pet them for ten minutes.
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This is like if you asked ChatGPT what does a basketball coach look like
Watching Complete Unknown. It’s funny that there was a time when money grubbing showbiz guys would sit in the back of folk music shows and be like, “Yes. YES! Cha Ching!”
They should do Big Night 2 but now it’s the 80’s and they think Brian Setzer is coming to dinner.
THE JIG IS UP SUCKER THROW THE BOOK AT HIM
I thought I lost my water bottle so I bought a new one but then I found the first one so now I have two water bottles. My life is so crazy. Can you handle it? Am I cancelled now???
I haven’t tweeted in two and a half years. What did I miss?
Nice, didn’t even have to go to the draft combine. Update your fantasy boards.
For some reason, I thought I was supposed to go to my niece’s bridal shower and then I showed up and it was all women and they were like what’re you doing here?
I an the designated driver at a bowling alley and only just now realized that hanging out at the bowling alley sucks ass!
This used to be a comedy club that still owes me $300 so I am urging this restaurant to send me my money.
Rizzoli & Isles is playing on the TV here and I just overheard the line: “I loved her!” “Well then why did you blow her up?”
Whenever I feel like thinking about real life I definitely go Braveheart and Moneyball.
Just left like $12 behind at the bottle return machine because there were too many people in line. This actually makes me zen and untethered to worldly possessions rather than a complete spazz.
I won $73.18 on the Super Bowl and now I’m eating chicken soup. It’s like Uncut Gems over here.
Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker
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