KP @kknipnetsirk
Joined January 2012-
Tweets2K
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Followers339
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Following333
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Likes12K
I’m obsessed with the one guy on Tik tok that rates mailboxes and ends up just calling all of them a piece of shit
i love my friends so much i wish i was a kangaroo so i could put them inside my pocket
hello sharks i’m asking for $48 so i can do a hostile take over of a dive bars’ touchtunes
I just saw a Tiktok about platypuses (platypi?) and learned they’re venomous, have no stomach, and milk comes from their armpits because they have no nipples. That’s just so silly.
Imagine they bring Kate out to prove she’s fine but then they cut into her & it turns out she’s actually Cake Middleton instead. Will the horrors never cease
I don’t think I can confidently do long division and it eats me alive
Nobody agrees with my idea to put on holes instead of the Super Bowl
I’m going to a new therapist on Valentine’s Day, it’s pretty much a date. I will be bringing flowers
just got diagnosed with needing a hot dog
Just ran listening to murder on the dance floor and can no longer feel sadness
i hate going bowling with people who are good at bowling, like bro relax
I love my job more than anything in my life but I also wanna move to a Nordic country. What a conflict.
WE WONNNNNNNNNN
BITCH LMFAOOOOOOOO
Sorry I was acting so weird ahaha I was possessed by a demon
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This dog had been missing for two weeks and this was the house cat's reaction when he was finally found 🤗
God forbid women have hobbies
Woman in front of me at the Phillies game is on Instagram DMing the unmarried players.
awesome text to get from a coworker i met last wednesday
lmfao, the bite ???????????????????????
Baby girl was NOT having it 😭😭😭😭
can you be fucking nice
this is genuinely the stupidest fucking lizard i have ever seen looking like this has to feel so embarrassing
now who made this…..
i’ve had this picture of Ma from MA (2019) in my bathroom for so long i’ve just completely lost sight of why i put it up in the first place
I love diss tracks because it’s basically 2 dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”
except i’m not a fucking metallic ball obeying the laws of conservation of momentum
Best example for why ups and downs are important in life
Me trying to make plans with my salmon friends:
There’s a real lack of gargoyles on buildings here. Let’s bring that back.
Flippers will be executed
A Living Room story. Before & After.
When you buy a cat to get rid of the rats in your garden
YO 😂😂😂
Cheers to 35 🍻 (it's my birthday in Thailand) 🎈
he really has NO awareness of his surroundings does he
storytime on how my high ass got fired from urban air 🤦🏽♀️for context: urban air is like a trampoline park. so boom i’m standing by my attraction making sure all the kids safe, having fun yk MY JOB😭 & this lil boy asked me to play with him on the trampoline and basketball thing
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