Lucas Waterfill @lucas_waterfill
Comedy. Activism. Music. “Picture me rollin.” lucaswaterfill.com Indianapolis, IN Joined October 2017-
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Following126
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It’s the age-old question. Which version of the joke came first the standup routine or the Internet meme?
Waking up without a hangover is worth not relating to Bukowski
I wish I was the tree that fell on Texas governor Greg Abbott
I wonder if Scientologist have their own prison gang by now?
Did you hear they played Too $hort at the funeral of the guy that blew the whistle on Boeing?
I wish I was an emotionally intelligent dumbass. That seems like the perfect mix.
Oh me? How am I doing? Just casually working my day job, pretending that we’re not on the brink of World War III.
So I convince my girlfriend to kill my mom. Turns out my mom was right, I do have Cerebral Palsy.
Go to gobananascomedy.com for tickets!
I wonder how long it takes for me to have an anxiety attack and delete this?
I’ve never met an able-bodied person I liked
There is nothing more fatter and depraved than the eating a cheeseburger in the parking lot
Falling asleep to X-Files, while having a fever, on NyQuil is the equivalent of doing DMT for light weights
Me: hey, that’s the controller. Your gonna move my chair. Henry Rollins: oh, it’s fine, buddy…
I had the privilege of joining @naptownjbrown to submit his paperwork to run for city county council District 13 today! Here’s a small glimpse into who Jesse is and why he should be your next council member. Give him a follow to keep up with his campaign ‼️ #JesseForIndy #DSA
I was in a punk band in middle school. We had a song called “lukewarm“ and the lyrics were “I need to urinate but I can’t!” I think that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever written.
I wish I could vote for the "liberal extremist" "radical leftist" "socialist" that republican attack ads state they're running against
Comedians kill me when they brag about how good they are and they’ve been doing it for 10 to 12 years. Bro, if you’ve been doing something for a decade you better be good.
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Daddy’s headlining @gobananascomedy this weekend. 7 shows baby. I’m so grateful for this man. Can’t even put it into words.
Merry Christmas yall. Make sure you hug your loved ones today.
I stand with @SusanSarandon .✊🏽
it is 1am. i am sitting on my toilet. my cat has determined that now is a great time for us to play fetch
@lucas_waterfill It also scratches a certain evolutionary itch
@sethvthem @lucas_waterfill dudes mine was deer creek, backstreet boys in 1997. Aaron Carter (rip) came out with backup dancers to just play "I Want Candy" and Jimmy Ray came out just to play "Are You Jimmy Ray?" fucking wild
Following the #Pacers win over the Kings last night, I asked Buddy Held and Myles Turner to refect on the growth they've seen in Aaron Nesmith this season.
The day hardcore gets boring is the day I leave earth.
Some images from the Chinese spy balloon seem to be focused on one person....
If McDonalds was just a job for teenagers, they wouldn’t be open during the school day.
You got any favorites?
What’s your favorite country song about driving?
"He possessed the child’s gift of transforming a drop of water into a poem that somehow begat music." ❤️❤️❤️ pitchfork.com/news/patti-smi…
Opening for @MattBellassai tonight at @HeliumComedyIND. @horchatadelrey will be there too. Get in where you fit in, whiners. #comedy
Indy Show Alert: Fall Out Boy will visit Ruoff Music Center on July 16.
trying out the old “post a clip to twitter” routine
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