Steve Hogarty @misterbrilliant
a writer for cool magazines about stuff misterbrilliant.com London, England Joined September 2008-
Tweets4K
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Followers16K
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Following485
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Likes3K
Steve Hogarty retweeted
that's three times now that I've gone into a voting booth and the walls have fallen away and I'm in a cage again on my way back to the zoo
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oh sure, when a black horse runs through a dense urban area in slow motion it's a touching allegory for reliable banking, but when it's at normal speed and smashing into tour bus windscreens they call the police
it's 2024, libraries shut down, courts backlogged, bus routes axed, poverty at record highs, your GP is now an app called Blingo Health. You travel to Gaza to feed starving kids and Israel immediately wipes you out with a British bomb that costs as much as a school
Steve Hogarty retweeted
Just made myself laugh imagining the resurrection of Jesus as a post-credits scene. Long lingering shot on the boulder. Slow zoom in. It moves an inch. Cut to black. Rage Against The Machine.
Steve Hogarty retweeted
Say what you like about Jesus Christ, but it's pretty fucking metal that he quoted System of a Down before he died 🤟🏽
Steve Hogarty retweeted
This cuts both ways. I’ve taught countless women about the works of Hideo Kojima, and they’ve presumably gone on to impress and delight other men with that knowledge. I’ve never been thanked once.
This cuts both ways. I’ve taught countless women about the works of Hideo Kojima, and they’ve presumably gone on to impress and delight other men with that knowledge. I’ve never been thanked once.
[PR initiating sex]: is the below of interest?
been meaning to give asthma a go so this is perfect
Steve Hogarty retweeted
I love how this dog looks at this egg, like he's learned absolutely nothing.
If I was Jesus I would have simply refused to drag my crucifix up the big hill, like lol what are they gonna do, crucify me
ugh! auuggghhh! ohhggghh
It's official. We're at war with old people. If you see somebody over the age of 35, you must bludgeon them on sight. Bludge, lest they bludge you first!
It's official. We're at war with old people. If you see somebody over the age of 35, you must bludgeon them on sight. Bludge, lest they bludge you first!
Steve Hogarty retweeted
I've had it up to here with gamers. I'm going to murder every gamer I see with my legs and fists. It ends today.
does anyone else have that one page of a cookbook that looks like a fucking murder scene because you cook it so often, pages all crispy like an 80s jazz mag you found in a bush
Greetings! Would you– [I am hit by a London bus and my disposable vapes spill out like Sonic the Hedgehog rings]
For years I've said "good morning" to the Google Assistant to trigger a routine to turn on the lights, start the radio, etc. Anyway Google is busily replacing all that with AI.
Steve Hogarty retweeted
I can't believe the BBC has BANNED the patriotic anthem "Rule Britannia" from the proms this year and replaced it with a new song "Hey Hey Pissland: Here Comes The Country For Racist Idiots", written by ANTIFA.
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Whoever developed Another Crab's Treasure clearly drew some inspiration from the little crab with a gun @RegularFeatures @misterbrilliant
@misterbrilliant Can't imagine they'd be reacting like this if the horse had ran into a wind turbine.
@misterbrilliant Unfortunately Central London is the only place horses can roam safely without running into wind turbines ☹️
@misterbrilliant "It's only just begun" cast in ominous new light today
i reckon i’ll wait until she’s 5 until i do the “AND GENETICALLY YOU’RE PREDISPOSED TO IT… DON’T SMOKE SKUNK” chat
i think they prefer to be called traffic wardens
@LanceForman @LBC @NickFerrariLBC Lance shut the fuck up
I can’t make any promises
I reckon parliament would be better with secret voting so that MPs couldn't be whipped and they could vote for what they think is right. And then, also, their voting record becomes public when they leave office, so we can have a Traitors kinda "were they a baddy or not" game.
Still dropping tonnage and this time plot (green is my goal weight) is pretty funny. You can pinpoint the precise moment (around Feb 5th) that I decided to start taking it seriously.
@misterbrilliant Was looking for a recipe in one of my mom's cookbooks, found it by just turning to the crunchiest page.
If my home assistant decided to get snarky with me like this, I'd be punting the thing out the window.
For years I've said "good morning" to the Google Assistant to trigger a routine to turn on the lights, start the radio, etc. Anyway Google is busily replacing all that with AI.
You don't really learn anything from fiction, it's true—but you don't learn much from nonfiction, either. The only way to learn about the world is by hearing a drunken buffoon ramble for a bit—and then paying attention to the part of yourself that thinks, "That can't be right"
and let us not forget the Young Cork Man pub lurks in its murky waters
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