notes4noone @notes4noone

all your deepest thoughts & things you want to say to your clients... Airport Joined March 2011

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notes4noone @notes4noone

2 years ago

To never write a cover letter again, I would be willing to swim through a pool of lemon juice with my body decorated in paper cuts. Tbh it would be a refreshing change to feel something again.

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notes4noone @notes4noone

3 years ago

…and so it begins. emails that begin with “I hope your new year is off to a good start…” #consultinghumor

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This one is for all the people who have started an email saying, “I hope the new year is getting off to a good start for you” and then laughed, said to yourself ‘who I am kidding’ and deleted it, simple to say, “Hi!” #consultinghumor

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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien

5 years ago

Ladies, I’m a 2-ply, washable cloth mask in the streets and a surgical n95 respirator in the sheets.

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notes4noone @notes4noone

5 years ago

What’s up with all these posts of amazing things like beaches and desserts with captions like “you can only pick 1”.... real world is so shitty that now even our fantasies are being tamed??? #thisisbs #Showerthoughts

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notes4noone @notes4noone

6 years ago

Weekend highlight: Reheated a McD’s Apple Pie, the filling burned the shit out my middle finger. By the time the I bandaged my finger, the pie was luke-warm. I took a bite, immediately starting choking. Recovered, finished the cold pie. #notaquitter #truestory #survivor

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notes4noone @notes4noone

6 years ago

It’s my favorite time of day: changing from my business hours sweats to my night time sweats. #QuarantineLife #QuarantineDiaries

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UberFacts @UberFacts

6 years ago

When you get blackout drunk you don't actually forget anything because the alcohol prevents new memories from being recorded in the first place.

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notes4noone @notes4noone

6 years ago

The problem with all these adds for fitness equipment is that they don’t tell you in order for any of them to actually work, you have actually whatever it is you purchased 🤦‍♀️ #whycantthisbeeasy

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notes4noone @notes4noone

6 years ago

WILL MY FACE EVER STOP NEEDING TO BE TOUCHED?! #CoronaDiaries

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iqra @iqraanabi

6 years ago

“how’s self quarantine going?”

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notes4noone @notes4noone

6 years ago

My life in a nutshell: - Finally meet someone who holds my attention but they live in another state. - Make plans to see each other - #coronavirus outbreak - cheap flights (promising) - lockdowns and curfews where the president threatens domestic travel bans - me: #foreveralone

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notes4noone @notes4noone

6 years ago

having coronavirus means I can’t work so I’m actively shaking hands with people at the airport - that’s how bad my job sucks. #consultinghumor

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notes4noone @notes4noone

6 years ago

Yeah sex is cool, but have you ever had a post go viral? #goals

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notes4noone @notes4noone

6 years ago

Someone come save me for myself. Like literally, right now, bust down my door and put my hands on my computer and find the will for me to work because god me it’s 100% gone

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notes4noone @notes4noone

6 years ago

I need a makeup application tool that’s as easy as applying a filter on Snapchat. #girlproblems #showerthoughts

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🐺 @Chasedogman

6 years ago

This video should be playing on every screen on the planet.

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notes4noone @notes4noone

6 years ago

Why did no one tell me that the Dilbert cartoons were actually premonitions. What I once found funny, I now cry about because it’s humor based on my pain.