LJ @suchasurfriend
bastards crying innit Joined January 2021-
Tweets7K
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Followers3K
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Following837
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Likes79K
my high school science lab partner challenged me to fight and when i backed down everybody called me a pussy in bio
the only aspect of friendship i've ever experienced is being called homophobic slurs
the best revenge is living well and terrorizing your elderly dad who has dementia
yes i know why you pulled me over i was driving like a fucking maniac and throwing empty liquor bottles at other cars on the highway
i got a horrible problem with no solution i can't talk to anyone about it and it'll get much worse every day until it kills me
i thought these were gonna be like yo-yo tricks where you're whipping them around and shit
i stood up and yelled your honor declare a mistrial and i'll suck your dick. he said my outburst was so irregular he had no choice but to do so. in law school this is referred to as LJs gambit
if i was in the air force id crash a fighter jet into a research station in antarctica
if the berlin airlift happened today it'd be 95% geek bars and pocket pussies
i'm never having sex again shriveled balls have got no jism
i bought a gun because a guy at work has an annoying face
i take a deep breath with the baby stroller perched on the edge of the halfpipe
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They should make a show like House except he accidentally kills the patients in all the episodes
question for men: what are your favourite things to do with other men?
Wish my wife did some goofy shit like this instead of pointing a loaded gun at me
Me to every person congratulating me at my wedding “yeah, i fucked her 😎”
Getting drunk in the bathroom im as real as they come
Women literally only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting how enigmatic they are, what do women want!!
I’m a little out of practice but I’ll give it a shot
That one dude in the gc with girls in it that sends photos of his pet a little too frequently
Well I think there are probably some police in sight
White supremacists are now marching in Charleston, West Virginia. With no police in sight.
anyone know the name of the show/movie?
This drawing of Bart is insane
housing two hot dogs and a diet pepsi in the ikea parking garage
Posted this really nice pic of myself on instagram and it flopped??
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