capybara @theonlycapybara
a rodent with a plan, (I’m planning to eat grass. shit. and die. ) Ann Arbor, MI Joined December 2018-
Tweets122
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Followers21
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Following38
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Likes108
Huey, Dewey, Louie and The News.
[getting murdered] I wish I hadn’t joked about this on twitter
Wife: for the last FUCKING time, when you get a new roll of toilet paper, put it on the roll, don’t just set it on the back of the toilet. Me [shit leaking out of my pants as I stand in the doorway]:
Wife: for the last FUCKING time, when you get a new roll of toilet paper, put it on the roll, don’t just set it on the back of the toilet. Me [shit leaking out of my pants as I stand in the doorway]:
Me: Are you qualified for this job? My Doctor [Who is a duck]: yes. Me: I just feel like you’re a fake doctor. Duck: I’m not. Me: a doctor who is a duck just seems like a real- Duck: quack. Me: yeah exactly. this is a terrible joke. Please unplug my life support.
bowling is just acoustic wii bowling
Die Hard should have been about auto-erotic asphyxiation
my gf picking up the phone when she knows I’m out w friends:
#FF follow these people. Post some tweets here. Give a nice animal a snack. Or don't! (But do.) @Bob_Janke @loveandthelike @aligarchy @Rollinintheseat @wags3687 @Jamberee13 @TriteAndTrue @theonlycapybara @PhilJamesson
Endangered capybara. It only takes two words to describe our suffering.
Endangered capybara. It only takes two words to describe our suffering.
CAPYBARA FC 🔥🔥 @capybaraFCcs
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39K Followers 0 Following I own no content posted unless specified, DM me if I used your photo or video to be tagged!
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