Xopher @xopherfoster
Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die? Always and forever here Joined April 2009-
Tweets6K
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Followers57
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Following122
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Likes4K
There should be a stats screen pop up when you die and show you stuff like how many times you thought it was a fart and shit yourself
Xopher retweeted
i think men should be allowed to get their dick Professionally Graded like a rare trading card and put a Badge on their profile if its good
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i think if dogs could talk they would have the most racist opinions in the world, stuff that just blows normal human racism out of the water
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It’s not the criticism that bothers you, it’s that they might be right.
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i invented saying "Oh Boy!" when something good happens
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Discipline comes from desire. If you lack discipline, you don’t want it as badly as you think.
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i hate it when i step into the office and my set up is not fully optimized for use with Microsoft Blow Job Simulator 2016
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Watching “It’s A Wonderful Life” and remembering the true meaning of Christmas.
Hades???
i get actively mad when i can pet a dog in a video game now. it only reads to me as either the dev being cynical and doing it for meme marketing or theyre reddit. thats how terrible it is out here
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When we go to holiday parties my wife is personable and fun and I am fat
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projectile vomit implies the existence of hitscan vomit
I can't be trusted to raise a kid. I haven't even figured out how to wipe without making my asshole bleed
During sex: "This orgasm brought to you by BioNTech & Pfizer"
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HELP ELON!!ELON!! HELP! HELP! POST "DOG COIN"
Like women's periods, if bipolar people spend time together their manic episodes sync
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drug commercial: yeah this medicine is definitely going to give you diarrhea the people in the commercial:
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