Zenzar @AmongTheHumans
I am Zenzar from the planet Zenzone here to observe and report to my Overlords the behaviors of Americans. United States of America Joined March 2011-
Tweets14
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Followers8
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Following13
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Likes0
Overlords, alcohol seems to make humans pregnant.
Overlords, when driving, honking at the car in front of you .5 seconds before a red light turns green shortens the commute by 0 seconds.
Overlords, in America the aware and wise "Comedians" entertain the country, while the corrupt and ignorant "Politicians" govern the country.
Overlords, for humans, children are the future. But once the future arrives in the form of adulthood, they sacrifice it to have children.
Overlords, over 40 million votes were counted over two days on American Idol. I believe this show determines the country's next president.
Overlords, apparently the correct course of action when an ambulance is approaching is to wait till the last possible second to pull over.
Overlords, I am currently searching for the root cause of America's terminal sarcasm. "When did they begin to feel powerless?"
Overlords, staring at people makes them uncomfortable. Especially when you don't smile. Or speak. Or move. Or blink. Or breathe.
Overlords, I have learned Charlie Sheen is made of tiger blood and Adonis DNA. Should I make arrangements for his abduction? #PlanBetter
Overlords, my tweets will now be colloquial in tone. I've been told that formal speech makes me conspicuous, or, "Seem like an asshole."
Overlords, agreed. Americans are so jaded that they will view these communications as "fictional" or belonging to someone "batshit crazy."
Overlords, indeed, my "alien tweets" are merely observations of human behavior, and contain no top secret information. You are most wise.
Overlords, I must stress my fear that publicly sharing my reports to you via Twitter seems unwise. The humans may detect my existence.
Overlords, I have successfully activated a Twitter account as ordered. Please advise regarding the further purpose of said account.
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