Bertrude @Bertieb84
There was no escaping this place, so here we are https://t.co/q9Cvfxyohi North West, England Joined March 2017-
Tweets2K
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Followers166
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Following199
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Likes2K
Just been called a porn star, it was 1, maybe 2 movies. Hardly makes me a star
Bertrude retweeted
I'm at the point of bday weekend where the offers for food, presents, adventures, & sex keep coming and I'm like SHIT, YOU GUYS, LEAVE ME ALONE!!! IM FUCKING TIRED!!! IM 43 GOTTDAMN YEARS OLD!!! Shout out to friends who know how to test your limits, in all the best ways 🤗💙😘
Bertrude retweeted
Anal sex is like parallel parking your girlfriend's car. It's best to let her back it in, so if there's damage, she only has herself to blame.
Bertrude retweeted
One thing I know, I'm a great fucking girl.
Bertrude retweeted
The most powerful drug is another person. Fuck.
Bertrude retweeted
No need to run dude! I'm trouble but the good kind
Bertrude retweeted
The red squirrel in my ceiling likes his whiskey neat (Anonymous: Is that sexual?) Maybe
Bertrude retweeted
Drinking pineapple juice will improve your complexion and adding rum will improve others’ looks.
Bertrude retweeted
Jealously can lead to some pretty incredible fucking.
Bertrude retweeted
Serving bratwurst and playing Barry White. What could possibly go wrong?
Bertrude retweeted
Always count & thank your blessings whilst they last, no matter how small. Nothing lasts forever. X
Bertrude retweeted
Half of you I want to punch in the face and the other half I’d like to sit on your face. So there’s that.
Bertrude retweeted
Bathroom fun if you have a tiled floor. Moisturise the soles of your feet & off you go it's like cheap ice skating that wants to kill you.
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