BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

I wrecked my company, there's no reason why I couldn't help ruin yours. Follow my recos, everything will go smooth. #corporateantipatterns Your cubicle Joined February 2017

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

"and here is our new deathops platform"

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

"we are not in the software business we are in the XYZ business, so let's not build software" This is getting old. Seriously.

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

Does working with clowns qualify you to run a circus ?

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

Compostable commerce. #greenIT

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

Consulting is just like any other goods. If your crap doesn't sell for 500 a day, try selling at 2000. You'll be surprised.

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

Funny to see that in less than a decade, the corporate IT world shifted from pretending no one was technical ("I'm more of a business person") to now pretending everyone is very technical (with phony CTO/VP Eng roles). While doing the exact same thing.

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

If you offered a grammar book for every gun sold, maybe someone could finally decipher the #SecondAmendment

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

"I really enjoy those meetings, they're nice" Oh ffs this is not Butlin's, you're supposed to sweat your ass off and take decisions.

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

If it's never your fault, there's a high chance you're actually not in charge of anything.

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

We need to urgently identify the responsible of this blaming culture

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

If you think an #audit is your chance to shine, you've never been through an audit

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

Most political situations give you the opportunity to either be Brejnev, Gorbachev, or Eltsin. Choose wisely.

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

So many Schettinos, so few Edward Smith #leadership

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

3 years ago

If your incidents are "auto resolved" you're either very advanced.... Or totally ignorant

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

4 years ago

Dropped the microservices and went back to the majestic coprolith architecture

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BigCorp Slave @CorpAntiPattern

4 years ago

"we are entering execution phase" Promises, promises...

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Shit User Story @ShitUserStory

4 years ago

As a… – user I want to… – prove I am not a robot by training a robot to become less like a robot so that… – the more I train the robot, the more fucking painful it gradually becomes to prove that I am not a robot