dean (obama) @DrocterPean
I’d rather be fishin Joined October 2014-
Tweets1K
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Followers329
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Following255
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Likes4K
me and @DrocterPean in the front row for oppenheimer
me and @DrocterPean in the front row for oppenheimer
and I dropped a game high 7 on his head put some respect on my name
and I dropped a game high 7 on his head put some respect on my name
I’ve never fallen for a phishing email at work and they made me the head of IT for it
the kid (jonah hill): who is that? tobin (bill hader): oh he saved our asses one time but he's a weirdo, man. just stay away from him. aw shit here he comes.. the judge (hairless danny mcbride): wassup, im the fucking judge, dawg. and to whom do i have the honor of addressing?
me and @DrocterPean just hanging out
finally posted it on instagram after debating the caption for 4 days but omg look at all the boys together <3
Getting kicked out of Dave & Busters because I’m too good at air hockey
@DrocterPean You sound mentally ill.
No but you don’t get it, my son is so good at yu-gi-oh. At first I didn’t believe it either.
The hilarious tragedy of Elon Musk is he really wants to post but he can’t. The man can’t post. It’s not in his blood and it never will be. He can spend all the money in the world and he’ll never be a poster. The real ones know exactly what I mean.
“It took me 53 years to learn that I age at the same rate as non lizards”
“It took me 53 years to learn that I age at the same rate as non lizards”
true
Telling an old man you like his car is the real life equivalent to if you give a mouse a cookie
*patient flatlining* doctor: nurse, I’m gonna need you to give him a one dance STAT!
I don’t care how millennial they are, gifs are funny
Bulldogs being the breed that skateboards makes so much sense it’s awesome
The two jobs that exist are 1. being on the computer and 2. bringing things to people who are on the computer
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719 Followers 663 Following Let whoever think whatever, just keep doing your thing IG: king_lil snapchat: kalil_slaughter
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I love how Shaq signs on to sell literally any product. He’s like Krusty the Clown
The NBA should have jeans night. I wanna see how good they play in jeans
I’m convinced the majority of dudes wake up and go to work so they can one day afford this chair in their living room
another chilling story from creepy dot org
Local Mexican restaurant used to be a Chinese restaurant. Instead of painting over a mural, they just put sombreros on the pandas.
We need to send Fauci to this person's house to formally relieve them of duty like the Japanese did with Hiroo Onoda.
Embarking on a 6-hour car ride with someone who takes zero COVID precautions. Chilling in the back seat with this respirator and trying to keep the CO2 under 1,000 ppm. Wish me luck!
Meek Mill: Grindin’ hard ‘til my knees shake. Bottle boys all in my room and they need that cream cake. Popped a molly, now my jeans ache. Came from nothing, all we ever knew was dream chase. Rick Ross (Through tears): Lobster crab look so exquisite in the evening light
(On a first date) Her: I don't want to be *that girlie* but the salads all look yummy! Me: Get what you want! But their burgers are awesome too! Her: Ooooh maybe I'll do that Me: Great 😊 (realizing I only have $30) *switching to Jamaican accent* Go for da healthy option gyal
ty cobb (.366)- “legend” “best to ever do it” “🐐🐐🐐” punxsutawney phil (.390)- “washed” “he sucks” “let’s kill him with rocks”
Punxsutawney Phil & his ancestors have an accuracy rate of 39% going back to 1887.
here’s what i would look like if i was black or chinese
@BarackObama my favorite song is moves like jagger!
[Deep South tobacco CEO voice] Now ah, this here ah, Bowsuh charactuh... enlighten me as to hhwhy Mistuh Mario's got such animus for the boy
I dont know exactly how movie budgets work but I can still confidently say that no movie has ever deserved and justified a $200M budget more than KOTFM
Apple's KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON has grossed $67M domestic, $89M overseas and $156M worldwide on a $200M budget. The reality is, Scorsese films can't justifiably be greenlighted by traditional studios with price tags of this nature.
She let me get the dunk in cuz my dough nuts
look up yonkers by tyler the creator on youtube. most fucked up song i ever heard…
People with fake laptop jobs: I love how nobody has to take work seriously this week! Me: *stares in landlord* Must be nice…
There’s not a single player in nba history that has worse shot selection than LeBron after making a tough 3.
coke drinkers have the world handed to them on a platter, catered to, coddled, and still they whine + complain, rootbeer heads on the other hand, forged in fire, ripping from the very earth the nectar they need, spat on by the media but smiling thru it all
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