Gary Pascal @GaryPascal
Contributor @theOnion | Co-host @murdertownpod | Trash donkey garypascalwrites.com Brooklyn, NY Joined April 2012-
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Putting wheels on this cross to bear is the best possible metaphor for American Evangelicalism
important to understand that the scramble to throw abortion / trans /immigrant rights etc under the bus on the supposed altar of Savvy Pragmatic Compromise is 100% because they see it as the only place you go to pick up votes when left economic populism is 100% off the table
Not the time Jiankui
If you dont know what most of your employees do you are the replaceable part
If you dont know what most of your employees do you are the replaceable part
Have no fear, Republicans will bail you out at some point with a huge chunk of taxpayer money to pay you for not being able to sell your products because of their policies. Then you can post on social media that you’re voting for them because you are against socialism.
Have no fear, Republicans will bail you out at some point with a huge chunk of taxpayer money to pay you for not being able to sell your products because of their policies. Then you can post on social media that you’re voting for them because you are against socialism.
Charlie Kirk was a champion of free speech and anyone who says otherwise will be fired
klein could have just written that political violence is wrong without composing a paean to kirk and eliding his actual views. he wrote this because for him the form is everything and the substance is nothing
klein could have just written that political violence is wrong without composing a paean to kirk and eliding his actual views. he wrote this because for him the form is everything and the substance is nothing
The very suggestion that the "Oversight Committee" would "take the president at his word" is preposterously disqualifying.
The very suggestion that the "Oversight Committee" would "take the president at his word" is preposterously disqualifying.
"Where do centrists find our Mamdani?" You had your Mamdani. His name was Barack Obama. He had once-in-a-generation charisma. And because centrism is a bankrupt, useless ideology, he was a terrible president. You had your chance, sorry!
Republicans have deliberately chosen to adopt maximally antisocial positions/beliefs, the burden is on them to figure out how to make friends again
Republicans have deliberately chosen to adopt maximally antisocial positions/beliefs, the burden is on them to figure out how to make friends again
This is not the fundamental divide. The fundamental divide is between those still pretending Trump is the anomalous cause of the democracy/oligarchy crisis & those who know Trump is the culmination/symptom of both parties’ leaders colluding to create that crisis.
This is not the fundamental divide. The fundamental divide is between those still pretending Trump is the anomalous cause of the democracy/oligarchy crisis & those who know Trump is the culmination/symptom of both parties’ leaders colluding to create that crisis.
The Democrats have a Democrat problem.
thoroughly cursed societal trifecta of genocidal, rapey and reddit
thoroughly cursed societal trifecta of genocidal, rapey and reddit
She’s actually really funny
Elephant seal farts and then rolls down a hill
anyone with leftist convictions has been accused of "never having a job". if you work in retail or food service, that's "not a real job". if you have an impressive job and make good money, you're a "spoiled champagne socialist". if you're blue-collar, you're "poor and bitter"
The turning point in anime history is when the ratio of perverts to engineering nerds tipped in favour of the perverts
The turning point in anime history is when the ratio of perverts to engineering nerds tipped in favour of the perverts
Every elite law school is a pipeline churning out lawyers defending the most murderous institutions in the word — companies using child slavery, Big Oil CEOs burning down our future, banks fleecing the elderly — and people are honestly throwing shade at public defenders?
Every elite law school is a pipeline churning out lawyers defending the most murderous institutions in the word — companies using child slavery, Big Oil CEOs burning down our future, banks fleecing the elderly — and people are honestly throwing shade at public defenders?
Diddler on the Roof
Cut off this guy’s supply to The West Wing episodes
Cut off this guy’s supply to The West Wing episodes
Skyler Higley @skyler_higley
31K Followers 939 Following standup/staff writer @midnight. formerly CONAN, @theonion.
Evan Mills @awkvanmills
2K Followers 890 Following He/Him BLM🏳️🌈🇵🇭Gay, Filipino, left-handed, only child✌🏾@TheSecondCity Main Stage 💛 CBS Showcase 2023✨JFL New Faces ‘23
Allison Reese🛸 @alienreese
15K Followers 1K Following she’s gay. @BROSTHEMOVIE | Lydia Parker on @tooningout | 22 JFL new face| ‘22 @CBS Showcase|Kamala Harris Impression|#BLM #TransRightsAreHumanRights
Asher Perlman @asherperlman
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steve @steve81573937
657 Followers 775 Following
Meaghan Strickland @MeaghanStrick
2K Followers 1K Following land. My full name is Meaghan Strickland. chef/owner
derry queen ♡ @derryqueenhaha
6K Followers 1K Following chicago stand up & drag queen that invented the phrase “damn daniel” ~~ insta/tik tok: @derryqueenhaha
Andrew Knox @SoftKnox
5K Followers 906 Following @TheSecondCity Mainstage and E.t.c. alum👨💻JFL New Face ‘21 🤦♂️ @improvshakesco 💁♂️ Vermonster 👨💻 https://t.co/tPWxXiHV9N he/him
The iO Theater @iochicago
11K Followers 1K Following Chicago's Best Improv Comedy. Established in 1981. Link in bio for tickets/classes.
Claire McFadden @czmcfadden
4K Followers 697 Following formerly mainstage @secondcity + writer @jackboxgames
TimLyons @TimLyons
3K Followers 958 Following Follow me on Facebook, I tweet a lot of funny videos. Listen to Improv is Dead!
Mike Migdall @ItsMigdallTime
4K Followers 1K Following new podcast @thatguttershow out now, streaming Video Game at twitch @ itsmikelenitime he/him. header by @weresock. Free Palestine
richie owens @iamRichieOwens
3K Followers 1K Following I’ve taken off both of my shoes and one of my socks, and I think I’m crying
Steven Castillo @STEEEZUSCHRIST
19K Followers 3K Following cartoon network’s “comics to watch,” @nbcsnl, just for laughs
Meghan Babbe @m_babbe
1K Followers 1K Following Chicago-based comedian & writer with a South Dakota spirit. Contributor @Reductress & @TheOnion | Performer @iochicago and @TheSecondCity Touring Company
Patrick Brown @PBrown83
772 Followers 2K Following Now: Partner @FogLampDigital & @novelmessaging │ Then: @emilyslist and @dccc │ Always: Boston apologist, cranky Red Sox fan, Christmas enthusiast
Nieulorr @Nieulorr227
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adrian endys martinez @AdrianEndys
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Junior Roblero @JuniorRobl22668
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T J @terisjose
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Trulee @Trulee018221
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Fiona @fiona_jannahmiu
152 Followers 1K Following Proud American 🇺🇸, Chasing dreams, collecting memories. Soft soul with a heart full of stars. 🌙✨”
sunflower @sunflower725423
46 Followers 4K Following
BMN @BigMoneyNick1
1K Followers 892 Following Bitcoin since 2011. Multiples residences. Blockchain, Education, Corporate & Legal Services.
MUHA MEDS 2G AUTHENTI... @johtrappack
172 Followers 8K Following Online Orders | Local Meetups | Doorstep Delivery 📞Contact: https://t.co/0JpQcaOjzc 📬TELEGRAM : JOH710 👻 SNAPCHAT : JOH710 POTATO : https://t.co/6yPCcr88X6
Nopppharast Charoensu... @nopppharas77954
10 Followers 873 Following
Demi Novak @DemiNovak55
17 Followers 146 Following
Mario Nawfal @MarioNawfal
2.5M Followers 49K Following Largest Show on X | Investor 700+ Startups | Founder @ibcgroupio , https://t.co/sw7OQ5KgAW
Barbara Khasia @BarbareKhasia
22 Followers 201 Following HR Manager Crypto Enthusiast Blockchain & Cryptocurrencies
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Charles Boyd @MinorityOfOne75
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RE:fuse @REfuse1088938
61 Followers 4K Following
Yanna @Yanna5097766811
33 Followers 3K Following
primary @primary02118045
48 Followers 4K Following
big_pedestrian @big_pedestrian
9K Followers 7K Following Believer in the idea of America. Immigration is our superpower. Cities built for people are safe, beautiful and prosperous. Not official record.
Reletaski @reletaski33123
122 Followers 7K Following
Anna Dubois @Dolly380681
109 Followers 2K Following Work hard so that I can travel to more places! https://t.co/wh0FU6Cit8
Meg Reid @meg_it_happen
863 Followers 1K Following Contributor @theonion @reductress @mcsweeneys @pointsincase @the_belladonnas @weeklyhumorist A pretty impossible lady to be with. she/her
Shelet @shelet42973
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Lex Vaughn @AlexaVaughn
3K Followers 3K Following Founder & Editor of @TheNeedling, Seattle's Only Real Fake News. Pulitzer Prize-winning real real news reporter. @4culture 2024 Arc Artist Fellow
Resoro @Resoro115924
22 Followers 848 Following
Slooti @Slooti490052
0 Followers 320 Following In this life, every journey is a scenery, and every thought can be calm.
Slidol @slidol80190
18 Followers 495 Following
buba @korika2028
8 Followers 433 Following
Zola Ray @zolamray
1K Followers 3K Following Features Contributor @TheOnion. Contributor @Reductress. Words @Betches_Sup @LittleOldLady__ @FlexxMag. she/her
Heidi @heidi38forrest
388 Followers 3K Following
Luis Elias Badillo @Agent_Eli
369 Followers 1K Following Writer, Improv Comic, Chicagoan. Many useless talents for hire. Former Features Contributor @TheOnion. Formerly @OnionGamers
Genre Reveal Party! @genrerevealpod
123 Followers 407 Following Movie/tv podcast hosted by writer/cultural critic @la_louve_rouge_ & comedian/actor @thisisdavemaher. Inventing bespoke genres since 2023.
Skyler Higley @skyler_higley
31K Followers 939 Following standup/staff writer @midnight. formerly CONAN, @theonion.
Evan Mills @awkvanmills
2K Followers 890 Following He/Him BLM🏳️🌈🇵🇭Gay, Filipino, left-handed, only child✌🏾@TheSecondCity Main Stage 💛 CBS Showcase 2023✨JFL New Faces ‘23
Allison Reese🛸 @alienreese
15K Followers 1K Following she’s gay. @BROSTHEMOVIE | Lydia Parker on @tooningout | 22 JFL new face| ‘22 @CBS Showcase|Kamala Harris Impression|#BLM #TransRightsAreHumanRights
Asher Perlman @asherperlman
27K Followers 2K Following Cartoonist, The New Yorker. Writer, The Late Show. 🙂↕️
steve @steve81573937
657 Followers 775 Following
Jack Bensinger @JackBensinger
36K Followers 634 Following
Meaghan Strickland @MeaghanStrick
2K Followers 1K Following land. My full name is Meaghan Strickland. chef/owner
derry queen ♡ @derryqueenhaha
6K Followers 1K Following chicago stand up & drag queen that invented the phrase “damn daniel” ~~ insta/tik tok: @derryqueenhaha
Andrew Knox @SoftKnox
5K Followers 906 Following @TheSecondCity Mainstage and E.t.c. alum👨💻JFL New Face ‘21 🤦♂️ @improvshakesco 💁♂️ Vermonster 👨💻 https://t.co/tPWxXiHV9N he/him
The iO Theater @iochicago
11K Followers 1K Following Chicago's Best Improv Comedy. Established in 1981. Link in bio for tickets/classes.
Claire McFadden @czmcfadden
4K Followers 697 Following formerly mainstage @secondcity + writer @jackboxgames
Garrett Williams, BFA @badboygargar
18K Followers 1K Following Singer, Activist, UFO Experiencer Rep: Framework
TimLyons @TimLyons
3K Followers 958 Following Follow me on Facebook, I tweet a lot of funny videos. Listen to Improv is Dead!
Mike Migdall @ItsMigdallTime
4K Followers 1K Following new podcast @thatguttershow out now, streaming Video Game at twitch @ itsmikelenitime he/him. header by @weresock. Free Palestine
Ryan Grim @ryangrim
431K Followers 11K Following Reporter at @DropSiteNews - Author of "We've Got People,” “The Squad,” and “This Is Your Country On Drugs.” Co-host of Breaking Points. DM for Signal
Matt Bruenig @MattBruenig
188K Followers 1K Following @NLRBEdge: https://t.co/E6kqP2rb61 @PplPolicyProj: https://t.co/djknS83YJd The Bruenigs podcast: https://t.co/Wtpbn0UcHT
barbarism critic @barbarismcrit
48K Followers 2K Following It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society
Chi Ossé @OsseChi
56K Followers 1K Following @nyccouncil Member for Brooklyn’s Bed-Stuy and Crown Heights (CD 36) @CMChiOsse | Personal Account
Ed Zitron @edzitron
95K Followers 5K Following Newsletter https://t.co/D5qDgUKaNR - Better Offline Podcast - https://t.co/pUoGsuaQTw - Column Business Insider - CEO at https://t.co/5idt8AyPqr - Award-Winning Tech PR
The Onion @TheOnion
11.1M Followers 7 Following America's Finest News Source. A @globtetrahedron subsidiary. Get the paper delivered to your door: https://t.co/jJP2Apbhe8
Zohran Kwame Mamdani @ZohranKMamdani
634K Followers 987 Following Democratic Nominee for Mayor of NYC. Assemblymember. Running to freeze the rent, make buses fast + free, and deliver universal childcare. Democratic Socialist.
Edward Ongweso Jr @bigblackjacobin
64K Followers 4K Following co-host - @machinekillspod // senior researcher - @SecurityContext // evangelical Luddite & decel // rep @ianbonaparte
Eyup Lovely @eyuplovely
66K Followers 2K Following Woke New Left Citizen Journalist fostering political dialogue & respectful analysis. Love life, hate bullies, hoping to make a difference. [email protected]
Brandon Streussnig @BrndnStrssng
29K Followers 2K Following Bylines: Vulture, The Ringer, GQ, Inverse, Men's & Women's Health, Letterboxd Journal, The AV Club, The Playlist, Fangoria, Paste, The Film Stage, AwardsWatch
Jenny Nicholson @JennyENicholson
346K Followers 474 Following video maker • pro gamer • #1 avatarhead na'vi nation zola‘u nìprrte’ • sonic fans don't interact
Haus of Decline @hausofdecline
267K Followers 1K Following Hank of Decline Website - https://t.co/x1yxb0BWDM Patreon - https://t.co/Awbuy7xogD
nattie winters @UtilityLimb
21K Followers 247 Following this website sucks. go to https://t.co/ncufObzE9z NEW GAME COMING FROM HOTBRAIN go to https://t.co/mqGuYsh6Fi @hotbrainland “she/they” av by @sehnsud
Ashley Reese @offbeatorbit
93K Followers 3K Following Writer. Widow. Worrywart. Hates mint chocolate. Got the girlies pressed. #fuckcancer 💌 BAD BRAIN newsletter ↴
Tom Morello @tmorello
894K Followers 127 Following Feed the poor. Fight the power. Rock the f*ck out. Tickets Here ⬇️ https://t.co/zMc2Ab3k7O
onion person @CantEverDie
173K Followers 2K Following JUNE - L’CHAIM - TRANS DISINFO INFLUENCER - i host the https://t.co/1E5t5LtCks and https://t.co/ko8uAUDjOt podcasts - serious journalism at https://t.co/AyLsJQBLRg
Zola Ray @zolamray
1K Followers 3K Following Features Contributor @TheOnion. Contributor @Reductress. Words @Betches_Sup @LittleOldLady__ @FlexxMag. she/her
Mike Scollins @mikescollins
34K Followers 1K Following From Marshfield MA. Writer for Late Night with Seth Meyers. Love horror movies. Usually have to pee. He/Him
The Information Pimp @BirdRespecter
37K Followers 928 Following Proud Luddite. God’s chosen hater. We could be best friends 🙂
Actual Names @ActualNames1
121K Followers 3K Following Interesting names from genealogical and other sources.
Jesse Brenneman @Jesse_Brenneman
10K Followers 2K Following Fake tech show host @TepTalkPod • Podcast editor for @KnowYrEnemyPod & @jewishcurrents • Formerly @OnTheMedia • Musician • Vinyl Odyssey Radio & Substack Host
Luis Elias Badillo @Agent_Eli
369 Followers 1K Following Writer, Improv Comic, Chicagoan. Many useless talents for hire. Former Features Contributor @TheOnion. Formerly @OnionGamers
dasharez0ne.bsky.soci... @dasharez0ne
125K Followers 2 Following FUCK SOCIAL MEDIA - GET MY MEME'S BY MAIL https://t.co/zxCFeD8n1I STILL AT https://t.co/skhkXpUq47 / https://t.co/FIGi6RPlBM
Woeletariat @zuveest
5K Followers 145 Following
b-boy bouiebaisse @jbouie
394K Followers 1K Following My name is Jamelle Bouie. @nytopinion columnist. Co-host of @UnclearPod. Upgrade your grey matter, ‘cuz one day it may matter.
We're just normal men @wejustnormalmen
92K Followers 3 Following We're just normal men. We're just innocent men. / Ceasefire now 🇵🇸 Cease civilian deaths now / Jumping ship to 🧵 & 🦋 Not affiliated to the 3 followed accs.
seynique @seynique
10K Followers 932 Following comedian. writer. podcaster. | she/her co-host of @everybodywspod & @wediefirstpod seyniquesmythecomedy @ https://t.co/NqCyCoulNQ
@nycforabortion.bsky.... @nycforabortion
8K Followers 578 Following INACTIVE ACCOUNT. FIND US ON BSKY. An intersectional collective of feminists fighting for free abortion on demand and reproductive justice. 💚 FTP 💚
Ryan Broderick @broderick
69K Followers 3K Following I write the Garbage Day newsletter about web culture and host the Panic World podcast. They're both really good.
weird medieval guys B... @WeirdMedieval
614K Followers 172 Following by @tochterzwiebel // listen to my podcast with @aranptappers and ORDER MY BOOK OUT NOW // [email protected] for enquiries
Liv @Liv_Agar
227K Followers 1K Following Live on tuesday thursday sunday (et al) @ 12 pst https://t.co/IijcDi8B4y Read my newsletter https://t.co/FslhNuXrJM Listen to my podcast @qaapod
Cats of Yore @CatsOfYore
100K Followers 38 Following Hi! I'm Molly and I'm interested in feline history and welfare. Owner of 2 amazing FIV+ cats! Header by W. Eugene Smith. Profile pic is a postcard from 1908.
Tyler Samples @tlrsmpls
207 Followers 234 Following Check out Mystery County Monster Hunters Club for funny people playing messy teens: https://t.co/C3MBgehxCK
Second City Workers @scworkers
453 Followers 43 Following The official twitter account for the stage workers of Second City represented by @ActorsEquity https://t.co/m8MQ19Cu8a
Rhiannon @AywaRhiannon
34K Followers 1K Following c’mon bro lets get liberated. former public defender. palestinian. seen some shit. @fivefourpod @popularcradle
Regional American Foo... @RegionalUSFood
157K Followers 4 Following Shining a light on regional dishes from around the US since 2021 — featured in @Salon, @SFExaminer, @AtlasObscura, and more. Curated by @bromf3. Submit via DMTrends for United States
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