The Heyoo Network @HeyooNet
Ushering in the Rise of a Global #Heyoo Cyber Network...one dick joke at a time. Comedy Joined April 2013-
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Followers100
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Following169
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#Subway removes same chemical additive used in yoga mats from their sandwich rolls, then cancels rollout of the new Downward Facing Hotdog.
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After all this snow, my car is covered in road salt & dirt-laden slush...It's such a filthy ride that I've renamed it Ke$ha. #Heyoo
It is so cold outside that the Alpha Betas are actually paying Lewis Skolnick to pour liquid heat in their jocks. #lookslikesalad
Bill Clinton said #Bridgegate brought back fond memories of when HE would tell female staffers to 'back that thang up'.
Police responding to crash involving Honey Boo Boo's family found broken glass, smashed fenders & a whole lot of "junk in the trunk".
It's so cold today that OJ asked L.A. Superior Court if he could have his glove back.
It's so cold today that the TSA has invited EVERYONE to place their hands against the passengers' junk.
Romans probably began feeding Christians to the lions after the Emperor was rear-ended by a chariot w/reindeer antlers & a Rudolph nose.
Info from 40M credit cards stolen from Target...Feds haven't seen that much plastic compromised since Joan_Rivers was left in a hot car.
Employment under Obama is so bleak that even antibacterial soap isn't working.
The amply-bearded Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty may have let "Nohomovember" go to his head. #Heyoo
Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson clarifies remarks, saying he just meant that he'll only hang out w/ men who are into Platypuses.
A&E removes Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty to protect network sponsers from boycotts. Viewers reacted w/ disbelief: "A&E has sponsers?"
Arrested Indian diplomat says she was stripped by NYPD & given cavity searches. Upside: search only turned up an impacted wisdom tooth.
Edward Snowden's request to become a Brazilian may be obliged by year's end, as US officials are expected to wax his ass. #NSA
Woman distracted by Facebook falls off pier into icy water...rescuers were alerted by her screams of "Fuck your Christmas Jammies!"
LGBT magazine names Pope Francis its "Person of the Year"...he clinched the nod b/c he ministers from the seat of Peter. #Heyoo
Xray of 80-yr-old woman finds she's been carrying a fetus for 40yrs...It's the longest anyone's spent in a uterus who isn't Michael Douglas.
Mattman and Robbin @Mattman_NRobbin
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Camden's Finest @anbrll00
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bb @BookishB4
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Joshua Sankey @SankeySoFunny
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M J Moody @MJ_Moody
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$LifesUgly @_LUMP
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Turd Burglar @BathtubTequila
266 Followers 376 Following Comedy person. Alcohol enthusiast. Has been known to burgle turds.
Howeird @howeirdJ
1K Followers 2K Following I am not like the others. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
🇨🇦 Romeo Presen... @RomeoPresents
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osseous matter @ManCaveSM
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Psychotic Humor @PHDaniel_Street
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Jullianne Delgado @JullianneNYC
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Doug Canney @dougcanney
2K Followers 2K Following Comedian, Actor, Musician, Idiot, traveler. Married to my best friend (New Bern NC homeboy) #voteblue
Jim E @Popuptoast
2K Followers 3K Following Drinkstigator. Glug a slug from the jug! #USAF #Veteran #Music #Svengoolie
Tight Six @TightSix
228 Followers 349 Following Free comedy every Sunday. 8 PM. Upstairs at Fergie's. 1214 Sansom St. Philadelphia, PA 19107
Zach Rapp @_ZachRapp_
379 Followers 440 Following it's better to live a short life doing something you enjoy than a long life doing something that makes you miserable.
Saltine-American @BazarComedy
6K Followers 6K Following Comic and Promoter of comedy in the Tulsa area. Conissiour of fine asses and batshit crazy women.
KittySaysMeeow @KittySaysMeeow
3K Followers 3K Following I swear this is a joke, and nothing but a joke, so help me dog. 18+
Natty Lumpo @nattylumpo88
6K Followers 1K Following I know this guy who tries to write jokes. He goes to another school. You probably wouldn't know him. nattylumpo at BlueSky
McNervous Tweetup @McNervousTweets
53 Followers 107 Following Join us at the McNervous Philly Tweetup on Saturday August 9th at Morgan's Pier! RSVP HERE: http://t.co/o0Yr9QkqOz
24hr Stand-up @24hrstandup
477 Followers 554 Following We're all about Stand up Comedy!! (News, updates, best of the week and more) Follow n we'll follow back. share your work with us and we'll share with the world!
DecentlyFunny.com @DecentlyFunny
45K Followers 47K Following Twitter feed for Decently Funny w/ @theNuzzy & @theguydf (and their celebrity guests) and now @eden_eats! http://t.co/Y0k3dalqfJ for celebrity interviews.
Patrick Graves @PatrickGravesIV
460 Followers 463 Following That movie Cars isnt real...Those Cars cant really talk
James Goffigan @JamesGoffigan
53 Followers 251 Following James Goffigan, stand-up #comedian, funny guy, v funny not a parody. Definitely not a serial killer
Sean M Comedy @SeanMComedy
3K Followers 4K Following Comedian, Sex Symbol, @NYJets QB, and cohost of the @winninglosers1 podcast. #TheResistance
John Powers @ComicJohnPowers
10K Followers 10K Following Children’s Book Author | Creative Services Professional Emmy winner | Voice artist | Former Standup Comic
The Preston & Steve S... @PrestonSteve933
132K Followers 84K Following The official page of The Preston & Steve Show. Weekday mornings on @933WMMR.
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me @BionicKoala
8 Followers 103 Following
Tampa Comedians @TampaComedians
82K Followers 103K Following Retweeting and bringing attention to the funniest comedians in Tampa
Marilyn Russell @MarilynRussell
7K Followers 8K Following (née Murphy) ❤️ Mom/Radio in a past life/Philly/Tucson #social/#music/#Foodie-Also on Insta-https://t.co/sJeufcFmkv
CarFoul @CarFoulBlog
214 Followers 993 Following Keep sending me your vehicle related pics on http://t.co/gnkUfNSHNs!
Dana Carvey @danacarvey
326K Followers 44K Following @flyonthewallpod - FlyOnTheWall : https://t.co/NY2YZf07N0 TheWeirdPlace : https://t.co/KTkix3ndeg
Julie Notwicz @julienotwicz
675 Followers 1K Following Lead singer for @brewmoonface We'll be playing at @steeplechaseci on June 9th. Come check us out! 🎶🎸🎤
Brian Six @Brian6ix
7K Followers 370 Following
B. A. Comedian @BAComedian
71 Followers 162 Following B.A. COMEDIAN is a Philadelphia based comedy group featuring;@Brian6ix, Andrew Sposato, @Dan_J_H_King , and Tim Raymus. We never say die
Joshua Crompton @PhillyNewsGuy
4K Followers 8K Following Senior Politics Producer @GrayDCnews, Stroke Survivor,Iraq War Vet. Freemason,Sober,RTs NOT endorsements.NY Giants/Yankees. Former CBS Philly/WBOC/TND
FollowBackFlorida @FB_Florida
105K Followers 109K Following
Tampa Bay Comedy @coconutscomedy
122 Followers 45 Following Welcome to Tampa Bay Comedy.We've broken local decibel levels with our roaring laughs and MMMs from delicious foods since '86.
caseman @CasemanXP
303 Followers 878 Following Radical Tech Enthusiast, BA Social Scientist, dude wot likes video games. THESE TWEETS ARE MY OPINIONS ALONE. He/Him
Camden's Finest @anbrll00
8K Followers 6K Following Youth Pastor/America’s #1 Christian porn filmmaker
Susan Dale @SusanDaleShow
8K Followers 4K Following I'm a comedian I'm by-racial ( 1/2 redneck & 1/2 white trash)! My daughter's @Anastasiamusic1 follow my snapchat SusanDaleShow
Obama NSC- Archived @NSC44
124K Followers 167 Following National Security Council (NSC). This is an archive of an Obama Administration account maintained by the National Archives and Records Administration (NARA).
CBS Mornings @CBSMornings
529K Followers 2K Following Impactful journalism + exquisite storytelling. Watch @CBSMornings weekdays from 7-9 a.m. with @GayleKing, @NateBurleson and @NorahODonnell on @CBS.
Jeremy Plauche @plauchej
222 Followers 356 Following
bb @BookishB4
5K Followers 2K Following
Joshua Sankey @SankeySoFunny
760 Followers 1K Following Comedian/Actor/Amazing Model/Writer/Artist With A Meal Plan/Improvisational Enthusiast
Tamara O’Brien @TamaraObrien54
869 Followers 2K Following Life is what you make it. Make it an adventure🌎
Philadelphia Police D... @PhillyPolice
235K Followers 301 Following Official account of the Philadelphia Police Department. This account is not monitored 24/7. For emergencies, call 911.
$LifesUgly @_LUMP
4K Followers 4K Following Host of @NoChopsPodcast #CouncilOfJive #PhillyComedy #Philly FB: LUMP Hamilton IG: lump_hamilton Broke Dad send money $LifesUgly [email protected]
M J Moody @MJ_Moody
645 Followers 879 Following Comedian/Sketch writer. Comedy grind dont stop. Laughter Therapy!
Will Rodgers @xWILLRODGERSx
134K Followers 16K Following From Comic to CEO; Turning laughs into leadership, Building businesses with the same passion that once filled the stage FAITH-FAMILY-FITNESS
Turd Burglar @BathtubTequila
266 Followers 376 Following Comedy person. Alcohol enthusiast. Has been known to burgle turds.
Kat Sedita Olson @Kat_Sed
1K Followers 891 Following Former TV producer pursuing wealth through real estate investment. Higher IQ than Frasier Crane. Lactose lover; gluten glutton.
Howeird @howeirdJ
1K Followers 2K Following I am not like the others. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
🇨🇦 Romeo Presen... @RomeoPresents
3K Followers 3K Following
osseous matter @ManCaveSM
14K Followers 16K Following Retweeter of Tweets, blogger at https://t.co/5psz4MnoZB
Psychotic Humor @PHDaniel_Street
11K Followers 12K Following Giving you good quality shitty tweets since 2010
Jullianne Delgado @JullianneNYC
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GregGutfeld @greggutfeld
3.1M Followers 1K Following 4 hit shows; AND NOW 6 NYTs bestsellers! also ridiculously good looking. Watch Gutfeld! And order The #1 Best seller The King of Late Night Today! https://t.co/ufz305p7WR
Tony Bruno Show @TonyBrunoShow
91K Followers 52K Following Philly Born & Raised. Patriot. Talked on Radio & TV for 5 decades. Son of War Hero & Immigrant Mom. Laughter is Medicine. I follow back quality humans!
Doug Canney @dougcanney
2K Followers 2K Following Comedian, Actor, Musician, Idiot, traveler. Married to my best friend (New Bern NC homeboy) #voteblue
Jim E @Popuptoast
2K Followers 3K Following Drinkstigator. Glug a slug from the jug! #USAF #Veteran #Music #Svengoolie
Nathan Brimmer @NathanBrimmer
33K Followers 2K Following Creator of #BrokenSidewalk & 1 human. Writer | Actor | Big Break Finalist | Engineer | Ex-Gov @ManhattanSeries @AMillionWays https://t.co/LEntwWoIiA
Jim Norton @JimNorton
511K Followers 248 Following https://t.co/4EJ6oGdFls or for TICKETS click https://t.co/yKiqjonV2d
Saltine-American @BazarComedy
6K Followers 6K Following Comic and Promoter of comedy in the Tulsa area. Conissiour of fine asses and batshit crazy women.
Tight Six @TightSix
228 Followers 349 Following Free comedy every Sunday. 8 PM. Upstairs at Fergie's. 1214 Sansom St. Philadelphia, PA 19107
Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt
3.9M Followers 4K Following Head over to https://t.co/RxSAvjPK2W for tour dates, comics & whatever else I’m working on. I like making stuff. IG, Threads & BlueSky: @pattonoswalt
KittySaysMeeow @KittySaysMeeow
3K Followers 3K Following I swear this is a joke, and nothing but a joke, so help me dog. 18+
Natty Lumpo @nattylumpo88
6K Followers 1K Following I know this guy who tries to write jokes. He goes to another school. You probably wouldn't know him. nattylumpo at BlueSky
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