Jenb @Jenbagain

So many times I leave this place so many times I return. Joined March 2017

Tweets

1K
Followers

178
Following

416
Likes

7K

Dr Pessimus Prime, rat edition 🐀 @BigJDubz

6 years ago

Wife: you've been a naughty boy... Me: yes I have! Wife: *removes mask to reveal she is actually Santa* Me: NOOOOOOOOOOO

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Lord James Alvarez @ObscureGent

7 years ago

Me: This milk tastes funny Lactating clown: Thank you

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jon drake @DrakeGatsby

6 years ago

OoOoOoH the Zodiac Killer, so scary. Are you going to kill me with astrology whoa that’s a big knife-

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Jenb @Jenbagain

6 years ago

The older I get the younger the celebrities who used to be older than me become.

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Drew (some assembly required) @dmc1138

6 years ago

I bet the person who named the pterodactyl wasn’t allowed to name anything else after that.

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Rae's a little hell🇨🇦 @omgshuddup

6 years ago

Find someone who thinks about you and wants you as much as you do them. * then let me know what that feels like*

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Twitish Invasion @twitishinvasion

6 years ago

Infants are born with the ability to swim, which is interesting, but I hope everyone was very suspicious of the 1st person to discover that.

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Schmrrrlex @alexlumaga

6 years ago

Jeff: You remember all those Jeff/Geoff jokes? I hated those Geoff: Yeah I reomeombeor

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cathryn 💚🇨🇦 @AngryRaccoon2

6 years ago

Remember when the biggest outrage was Milli Vanilli? L-O-Fucking-L.

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Jon @ArfMeasures

8 years ago

"Some people call me the space cowboy" *leans in* "Some people call me the gangster of love" BARISTA: I'm just gonna put Steve on the cup

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Bandersnaaatch @Bandersnaaatch

7 years ago

My parents didn’t raise no fool; this is all of my own doing.

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Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, lol, good one. Fool me three times, ha, should have seen that coming! Fool me four times, this is fine, everything’s great! Fool me five times, this is a shame free zone, you do you!

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Claire Behind The Hair @urmumsausername

6 years ago

Hey do you remember old Twitter? We'd struggle to fit what we wanted to say into those 140 characters, often missing out punctuation, or even spelling words in short, like 'cos instead of because. Now people tweet massive monologues. But not me. Ah old Twitter. Those were the da

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Jenb @Jenbagain

6 years ago

I’m always polite to our Alexa so, when she eventually takes over our house, I’ll be last on her kill list. Forward planning.

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Kikiriki @Pastabowl2

7 years ago

Nailed it, fellas.

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Forward March @RunOldMan

6 years ago

Pro-Tip: You never need a cheat day if you stay away from a healthy lifestyle. You’re welcome.

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Woody B @Woody_B_

6 years ago

TEACHER: Your son’s history report needs to be re-done. ME: What?! I helped him with that all night! TEACHER: Yes. Well, “The tyranny of Kayla the horrible” seems like it’s about your ex-girlfriend. ME: A history lesson that shall never be forgotten!