Lauren @LSchellenbach
Los Angeles, CA Joined August 2016-
Tweets48
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Followers9
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Following120
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Likes1K
once every three months a person who doesn’t drink water will do like a “gallon challenge” and buy some big ass jug for water with cutsie encouragement on it (“keep on chuggin’”) then after two weeks you never see the jug again and no one says anything
@boburnham Thank you thank thank you. Still weep-laughing over here.
Never forget that David Bowie checked the F outta MTV for their racial BS.. THANKS Dave! Respect
Somehow went from “Suck it up, Snowflake, you lost!” to “Oh we lost? Let’s shred the Constitution.”
This aged well.
In 9 months there will be boom in births and we shall call them “Biden Babies”. #BidenHarris2020
Shoot your shot. iwillvote.com
'Let's Change The Subject,' Says Mother Proven Wrong: ow.ly/aGo550BYaHI
"the government has no business making me wear a mask" i say before i buckle my seatbelt, drive the speed limit to a restaurant built to code, eat food made in a state inspected kitchen, receive the heimlich maneuver from a waiter who learned it from a mandatory workplace poster,
The symbolism of Betsy DeVos having a bookshelf with no books on it 😂😂😂
Ban Viagra. If pregnancy is God's will, so is limp dick.
Before you call to defund the US military, consider this: x.com/hilliamwilliam…
Imagine how society would grind to a halt if men got their periods.
I put on a mask and literally within seconds, I am struggling to breathe.
The word "muse" was invented to not pay women for ideas right?
@bowenyang First twitter comment. Don’t know what the SNL subreddit is, but you are my FAVORITE.
they don’t like the stringy bits on bananas either!!!! i don’t know what i’m going to do with this info yet but it makes me happy to know.
Juneteenth should be a national holiday. And that has been true every year since 1865.
If people start calling you a hero that means they're about to let you die
Scarlett_Aria @ScarlettAr50083
64 Followers 5K Following
Natalie Ramirez @bluekittycat
113 Followers 473 Following Photographer, Librarian, Theater Nerd, Mommy, lover of birds, hate makes me sad.
иιℓσ @lilbabyhoosh
245 Followers 264 Following spaceships don't come equipped with rear view mirrors
Chris Schellenbach @cschell5000
160 Followers 1K Following visual storytelling. digital goodness. dodgers.
Jolene Anderson @jojoobaby
173 Followers 152 Following
Jill Filipovic @JillFilipovic
146K Followers 7K Following Writer, author, columnist, recovering lawyer, and yogi. I write about women's rights, US politics, and foreign affairs
Zillow Gone Wild 🏡 @zillowgonewild
614K Followers 8 Following follow me @samir. I tour homes subscribe to the zgw newsletter to never miss a wild home!! 👇👇👇
Josh Barro @jbarro
276K Followers 2K Following I write (at https://t.co/ZoyMCO4ICD) & I co-host CENTRAL AIR, a major weekly politics podcast. https://t.co/27H6dlohwT Email josh at joshbarro dot com
Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack
1.6M Followers 755 Following 9 years in the NFL. 2 rings. #9years2rings
The First Amendment @USConst_Amend_I
106K Followers 468 Following I am the First Amendment. I love to tweet about myself. Take advantage of me but please don't violate me. (Parody, obvs.)
The Hard Times @REALpunknews
106K Followers 561 Following Real punk news, comin’ your way! We are reader supported, if you want to join the community sign up for our Patreon: https://t.co/Qk0leqpHah
Jim Belushi @JimBelushi
245K Followers 328 Following Father, Actor, Farmer. Check out the first three full seasons of #GrowingBelushi on @streamonmax
Robert Reich @RBReich
1.5M Followers 1K Following Berkeley professor, former Secretary of Labor. Co-founder, @InequalityMedia. Preorder my new book below:
Pete Buttigieg @PeteButtigieg
3.8M Followers 3K Following Husband, dad, veteran, writer, and proud Midwesterner. 19th US Secretary of Transportation and former Mayor of South Bend.
Reductress @Reductress
321K Followers 580 Following The one and only fake women's news magazine. Shop, learn and listen to everything Reductress: https://t.co/rZ2ivP7vKO
Mike Scully @scullymike
101K Followers 3K Following Simpsons, Parks & Rec, Everybody Loves Raymond, Duncanville, Carmichael Show & lots of canceled stuff. Go @lakings!
Michael Moore @MMFlint
5.2M Followers 548 Following Filmmaker. Writer. Citizen. Podcaster. Listen to "The Michael Moore Podcast” on Apple & Spotify. Sign-up for my free newsletter at https://t.co/VALHKq3b3O
Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff
205K Followers 923 Following
Jon Favreau @jonfavs
1.3M Followers 2K Following The Other One. @PodSaveAmerica, @Crookedmedia, terminally online host of Offline, Obama speechwriter
Matt Hubbard @mrhubbard00
4K Followers 184 Following Co-Creator of “Loot” on Apple TV+ and “Forever” on Prime Video.
Paul Scheer @paulscheer
647K Followers 3K Following 📺 Black Monday | The League | Human Giant NTSF:SD:SUV & Other Stuff 📖 Joyful Recollections of Trauma 💻 DARK WEB YT 🎧 @hdtgm @unspooledpod 📝 Substack
Los Feliz Daycare @LosFelizDaycare
85K Followers 447 Following **We NOW accept immunized children** Inquiries: @JDShapiro [email protected]
Fred Rogers Productio... @FredRogersPro
20K Followers 289 Following We build on the legacy of Fred Rogers by creating quality children’s media.
Mike Birbiglia @birbigs
544K Followers 1K Following My new standup special, The Old Man & The Pool, is available on Netflix. Currently on tour in a city near you.
Jen Statsky @jenstatsky
138K Followers 2K Following i co-created HACKS on @hbomax & i wrote for the good place & broad city & parks and rec & some other stuff & i’m still gonna die someday.
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace
755K Followers 5K Following The Official George Wallace Twitter. Trying to serve it up with hot sauce for you. God bless.
Gabe Delahaye @gabedelahaye
13K Followers 664 Following I am a writer and comedian just like everybody else.
Julie Klausner @julieklausner
107K Followers 3K Following I created #DifficultPeople & co-host @DoubleThreatPod. Other things too. She/her. Jewish. I hate it here.
natasha lyonne @nlyonne
531K Followers 1K Following Not to be confused with Stacy Keach. 🪆 @animalcorpo 🦇♠️♥️♣️♦️
Bess Kalb @bessbell
255K Followers 1K Following Writer and producer of TV and movie and books and children.
Jeff B. Davis @JeffBryanDavis
72K Followers 306 Following Whose Line Is It Anyway? on CW; live tour Whose Live Anyway? (see website for tickets); Harmontown podcast; Harmonquest. Instagram, Bluesky also @jeffbryandavis
Zach Braff @zachbraff
1.6M Followers 70 Following
Paul Feig @paulfeig
1.8M Followers 713 Following Paul wears suits & tries not to screw things up. He also created Freaks & Geeks and directed Bridesmaids, The Heat, Spy, A Simple Favor and now The Housemaid!
billy eichner @billyeichner
1.9M Followers 2K Following 4x Emmy nom for Billy on the Street. Bros, American Crime Story, American Horror Story, The Lion King, Difficult People, Parks and Rec. Bros is now on Amazon.
Ike Barinholtz @ikebarinholtz
232K Followers 1K Following
Lena Dunham @lenadunham
4.5M Followers 631 Following Famesick is out April 14!! You can pre-order now
nathan fielder @nathanfielder
594K Followers 213 FollowingTrends for United States
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